the works of edgar allan poe-5-第13部分

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When　I　had　made　an　end　of　my　lecture；　Mr。　Dammit　indulged　himself　in　some
very　equivocal　behavior。　For　some　moments　he　remained　silent；　merely
looking　me　inquisitively　in　the　face。　But　presently　he　threw　his　head　to
one　side；　and　elevated　his　eyebrows　to　a　great　extent。　Then　he　spread　out
the　palms　of　his　hands　and　shrugged　up　his　shoulders。　Then　he　winked　with
the　right　eye。　Then　he　repeated　the　operation　with　the　left。　Then　he　shut
them　both　up　very　tight。　Then　he　opened　them　both　so　very　wide　that　I
became　seriously　alarmed　for　the　consequences。　Then；　applying　his　thumb　to
his　nose；　he　thought　proper　to　make　an　indescribable　movement　with　the
rest　of　his　fingers。　Finally；　setting　his　arms　a…kimbo；　he　condescended　to
reply。

I　can　call　to　mind　only　the　beads　of　his　discourse。　He　would　be　obliged　to
me　if　I　would　hold　my　tongue。　He　wished　none　of　my　advice。　He　despised　all
my　insinuations。　He　was　old　enough　to　take　care　of　himself。　Did　I　still
think　him　baby　Dammit？　Did　I　mean　to　say　any　thing　against　his　character？
Did　I　intend　to　insult　him？　Was　I　a　fool？　Was　my　maternal　parent　aware；　in
a　word；　of　my　absence　from　the　domiciliary　residence？　He　would　put　this
latter　question　to　me　as　to　a　man　of　veracity；　and　he　would　bind　himself
to　abide　by　my　reply。　Once　more　he　would　demand　explicitly　if　my　mother
knew　that　I　was　out。　My　confusion；　he　said；　betrayed　me；　and　he　would　be
willing　to　bet　the　Devil　his　head　that　she　did　not。

Mr。　Dammit　did　not　pause　for　my　rejoinder。　Turning　upon　his　heel；　he　left
my　presence　with　undignified　precipitation。　It　was　well　for　him　that　he
did　so。　My　feelings　had　been　wounded。　Even　my　anger　had　been　aroused。　For
once　I　would　have　taken　him　up　upon　his　insulting　wager。　I　would　have　won
for　the　Arch…Enemy　Mr。　Dammit's　little　head　　for　the　fact　is；　my　mamma
was　very　well　aware　of　my　merely　temporary　absence　from　home。

But　Khoda　shefa　mid阧ed　　Heaven　gives　relief　　as　the　Mussulmans　say
when　you　tread　upon　their　toes。　It　was　in　pursuance　of　my　duty　that　I　had
been　insulted；　and　I　bore　the　insult　like　a　man。　It　now　seemed　to　me；
however；　that　I　had　done　all　that　could　be　required　of　me；　in　the　case　of
this　miserable　individual；　and　I　resolved　to　trouble　him　no　longer　with　my
counsel；　but　to　leave　him　to　his　conscience　and　himself。　But　although　I
forebore　to　intrude　with　my　advice；　I　could　not　bring　myself　to　give　up
his　society　altogether。　I　even　went　so　far　as　to　humor　some　of　his　less
reprehensible　propensities；　and　there　were　times　when　I　found　myself
lauding　his　wicked　jokes；　as　epicures　do　mustard；　with　tears　in　my　eyes：
　so　profoundly　did　it　grieve　me　to　hear　his　evil　talk。

One　fine　day；　having　strolled　out　together；　arm　in　arm；　our　route　led　us
in　the　direction　of　a　river。　There　was　a　bridge；　and　we　resolved　to　cross
it。　It　was　roofed　over；　by　way　of　protection　from　the　weather；　and　the
archway；　having　but　few　windows；　was　thus　very　uncomfortably　dark。　As　we
entered　the　passage；　the　contrast　between　the　external　glare　and　the
interior　gloom　struck　heavily　upon　my　spirits。　Not　so　upon　those　of　the
unhappy　Dammit；　who　offered　to　bet　the　Devil　his　head　that　I　was　hipped。
He　seemed　to　be　in　an　unusual　good　humor。　He　was　excessively　lively　　so
much　so　that　I　entertained　I　know　not　what　of　uneasy　suspicion。　It　is　not
impossible　that　he　was　affected　with　the　transcendentals。　I　am　not　well
enough　versed；　however；　in　the　diagnosis　of　this　disease　to　speak　with
decision　upon　the　point；　and　unhappily　there　were　none　of　my　friends　of
the　〃Dial〃　present。　I　suggest　the　idea；　nevertheless；　because　of　a　certain
species　of　austere　Merry…Andrewism　which　seemed　to　beset　my　poor　friend；
and　caused　him　to　make　quite　a　Tom…Fool　of　himself。　Nothing　would　serve
him　but　wriggling　and　skipping　about　under　and　over　every　thing　that　came
in　his　way；　now　shouting　out；　and　now　lisping　out；　all　manner　of　odd
little　and　big　words；　yet　preserving　the　gravest　face　in　the　world　all　the
time。　I　really　could　not　make　up　my　mind　whether　to　kick　or　to　pity　him。
At　length；　having　passed　nearly　across　the　bridge；　we　approached　the
termination　of　the　footway；　when　our　progress　was　impeded　by　a　turnstile
of　some　height。　Through　this　I　made　my　way　quietly；　pushing　it　around　as
usual。　But　this　turn　would　not　serve　the　turn　of　Mr。　Dammit。　He　insisted
upon　leaping　the　stile；　and　said　he　could　cut　a　pigeon…wing　over　it　in　the
air。　Now　this；　conscientiously　speaking；　I　did　not　think　he　could　do。　The
best　pigeon…winger　over　all　kinds　of　style　was　my　friend　Mr。　Carlyle；　and
as　I　knew　he　could　not　do　it；　I　would　not　believe　that　it　could　be　done　by
Toby　Dammit。　I　therefore　told　him；　in　so　many　words；　that　he　was　a
braggadocio；　and　could　not　do　what　he　said。　For　this　I　had　reason　to　be
sorry　afterward；　　for　he　straightway　offered　to　bet　the　Devil　his　head
that　he　could。

I　was　about　to　reply；　notwithstanding　my　previous　resolutions；　with　some
remonstrance　against　his　impiety；　when　I　heard；　close　at　my　elbow；　a
slight　cough；　which　sounded　very　much　like　the　ejaculation　〃ahem！〃　I
started；　and　looked　about　me　in　surprise。　My　glance　at　length　fell　into　a
nook　of　the　frame　　work　of　the　bridge；　and　upon　the　figure　of　a　little
lame　old　gentleman　of　venerable　aspect。　Nothing　could　be　more　reverend
than　his　whole　appearance；　for　he　not　only　had　on　a　full　suit　of　black；
but　his　shirt　was　perfectly　clean　and　the　collar　turned　very　neatly　down
over　a　white　cravat；　while　his　hair　was　parted　in　front　like　a　girl's。　His
hands　were　clasped　pensively　together　over　his　stomach；　and　his　two　eyes
were　carefully　rolled　up　into　the　top　of　his　head。

Upon　observing　him　more　closely；　I　perceived　that　he　wore　a　black　silk
apron　over　his　small…clothes；　and　this　was　a　thing　which　I　thought　very
odd。　Before　I　had　time　to　make　any　remark；　however；　upon　so　singular　a
circumstance；　he　interrupted　me　with　a　second　〃ahem！〃

To　this　observation　I　was　not　immediately　prepared　to　reply。　The　fact　is；
remarks　of　this　laconic　nature　are　nearly　unanswerable。　I　have　known　a
Quarterly　Review　non…plussed　by　the　word　〃Fudge！〃　I　am　not　ashamed　to　say；
therefore；　that　I　turned　to　Mr。　Dammit　for　assistance。

〃Dammit；〃　said　I；　〃what　are　you　about？　don't　you　hear？　　the　gentleman
says　'ahem！'〃　I　looked　sternly　at　my　friend　while　I　thus　addressed　him；
for；　to　say　the　truth；　I　felt　particularly　puzzled；　and　when　a　man　is
particularly　puzzled　he　must　knit　his　brows　and　look　savage；　or　else　he　is
pretty　sure　to　look　like　a　fool。

〃Dammit；〃　observed　I　　although　this　sounded　very　much　like　an　oath；　than
which　nothing　was　further　from　my　thoughts　　〃Dammit；〃　I　suggested　
〃the　gentleman　says　'ahem！'〃

I　do　not　attempt　to　defend　my　remark　on　the　score　of　profundity；　I　did　not
think　it　profound　myself；　but　I　have　noticed　that　the　effect　of　our
speeches　is　not　always　proportionate　with　their　importance　in　our　own
eyes；　and　if　I　had　shot　Mr。　D。　through　and　through　with　a　Paixhan　bomb；　or
knocked　him　in　the　head　with　the　〃Poets　and　Poetry　of　America；〃　he　could
hardly　have　been　more　discomfited　than　when　I　addressed　him　with　those
simple　words：　〃Dammit；　what　are　you　about？…　don't　you　hear？　　the
gentl