the red acorn-第49部分

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ve　concluded　to　accept　your　Aunt　Tabitha's　invitation　to　spend　a　few　months　with　her。　　Unless　you　hear　from　me　to　the　contrarywhich　you　will　probably　not；　as　the　mails　are　so　uncertain　in　Kentucky；　you　had　better　address　your　next　letter　to　me　at　Eau　Claire。

But　I　am　so　sorry　to　see　by　your　letter　that　you　show　no　signs　of　weariness　with　your　quixotic　idea　of　serving　the　country　in　the　hospital。　　I　had　hoped　so　much　that　you　would　by　this　time　have　decided　that　you　had　done　enough；　and　come　home　and　content　yourself　with　doing　what　you　could　for　the　Sanitary　Fair；　and　the　lint…scraping　bees。

YOUR　AFFECTIONATE　MOTHER。

P。S。Your　father　is　well。　　He　will　go　with　me　to　Wisconsin；　and　then　go　down　to　Nebraska　to　look　after　his　land　there。

P。S。I　am　SO　sorry　to　tell　you　that　Harry　Glen　has　acted　badly　again。　　The　last　letters　from　the　regiment　say　that　he　did　not　go　into　the　fight　at　Wildcat；　and　afterward　was　missing。　　They　believe　he　was　captured；　and　some　say　he　was　taken　prisoner　on　purpose。　Everybody's　saying；　〃I　told　you　so；〃　and　Mrs。　Glen　has　not　been　on　the　street　or　to　church　since　the　news　came。　　I　am　so　sorry　for　her；　but　then　you　know　that　she　used　to　put　on　quite　as　many　airs　as　her　position　justified。

P。S。Hoop…skirts　are　getting　smaller　every　month；　and　some　are　confident　that　they　will　go　entirely　out　of　fashion　by　next　year。　I　do　so　hope　not。　　I　so　dread　having　to　cme　back　to　the　old　way　of　wearing　a　whole　clothes…basketful　of　white　skirts。　　The　new　bonnets　are　just　the　awfulest　things　you　ever　did　see。　　Write　soon。


Rachel　crumpled　the　letter　in　her　hand；　with　a　quick；　angry　gesture；　as　if　crushing　some　hateful；　despicable　thing；　and　her　clear　hazel　eyes　blazed。

〃He　is　evidently　a　hopeless　coward；〃　she　said　to　herself；　〃when　all　that　has　passed　can　not　spur　him　into　an　exhibition　of　proper　spirit。　　If　he　had　the　love　for　me　he　professed　it　could　not　help　stimulating　him　to　some　show　of　manliness。　　I　will　fling　him　out　of　my　heart　and　my　world　as　I　would　fling　a　rotten　apple　out　of　a　basket。〃

Then　a　sadder　and　gentler　light　shone　in　her　face。

〃Perhaps　I　am　myself　to　blame　a　little。　　I　may　not　be　a　good　source　of　inspiration　to　acts　of　heroism。　　Other　girls　may　have　ways　of　stimulating　their　loves　to　high　deeds　that　I　know　not　of。　　Possibly　I　applied　the　lash　too　severely；　and　instead　of　rousing　him　up　I　killed　all　the　hope　in　his　heart；　and　made　him　indifferent　to　his　future。　　Possibly；　too；　this　story　may　not　be　true。　　The　feeling　in　Sardis　against　him　is　strong；　and　they　are　hardly　willing　to　do　him　justice。　　No　doubt　they　misrepresent　him　in　this；　as　they　are　apt　to　do　in　everything。〃

Her　face　hardened　again。

〃But　it's　of　no　use　seeking　excuses　for　him。　　My　lovermy　husbandmust　be　a　man　who　can　hold　his　own　with　other　men；　in　whatever　relation　of　life　the　struggle　may　be。　　The　man　into　whose　hands　I　entrust　the　happiness　of　my　life　must　have　his　qualities　so　clear　and　distinct　that　there　never　will　be　any　question　about　them。　　He　must　not　need　continual　explanation　and　defense；　for　then　outraged　pride　would　strangle　love　with　a　ruthless　hand。　　No；　I　must　never　have　reason　to　believe　that　my　choice　is　inferior　to　other　men　in　anything。〃

But　notwithstanding　this；　she　smoothed　out　the　crumpled　letter　tenderly　upon　her　knee；　and　read　it　over　again；　in　the　vain　hope　of　finding　that　the　words　had　less　harshness　than　she　had　at　first　found　in　them。

〃No；〃　she　said　after　a　weary　study　of　the　lines；　〃it's　surely　worse　than　mother　states　it。　　She　is　so　kind　and　gentle　that　she　never　fails　to　mitigate　the　harshness　of　anything　that　she　hears　about　others；　and　she　has　told　me　this　as　mildly　as　the　case　will　admit。　I　must　give　him　up　forever。〃

But　though　she　made　this　resolution　with　a　firm　settling　of　the　lines　around　her　mouth　that　spoke　strongly　of　its　probable　fulfilment；　the　arrival　of　the　decision　was　the　signal　for　the　assault　of　a　thousand　tender　memories　and　dear　recollections；　all　pleading　trumpet…tongued　against　the　summary　dismissal　of　the　unworthy　lover。　All　the　ineffably　sweet　incidents　of　their　love…life　stretched　themselves　out　in　a　vista　before　her；　and　tempted　her　to　reverse　her　decision。　　But　she　stayed　her　purpose　with　repeating　to　herself：

〃It　will　save　untold　misery　hereafter　to　be　firm　now；　and　end　a　connection　at　once　that　must　be　the　worse　for　both　of　us　every　day　that　it　is　allowed　to　continue。〃

There　was　a　tap　at　the　door；　and　Dr。　Denslow　entered。

The　struggle　had　so　shattered　Rachel's　self…control　that　she　nervously　grasped　the　letter　and　thrust　it　into　her　pocket；　as　if　the　mere　sight　of　it　would　reveal　to　him　the　perturbation　that　was　shaking　her。

His　quick　eyesquicker　yet　in　whatever　related　to　hernoticed　her　embarrassment。

〃Excuse　me；〃　he　said　with　that　graceful　tact　which　seemed　the　very　fiber　of　his　nature。　　〃You　are　not　in　the　mood　to　receive　callers。　I　will　go　now；　and　look　in　again。〃

〃No；　no；　stay。　　I　am　really　glad　to　see　you。　　It　is　nothing；　I　assure　you。〃

She　really　wished　very　much　to　be　alone　with　her　grief；　but　she　felt　somehow　that　to　shrink　from　a　meeting　would　be　an　evasion　of　the　path　of　duty　she　had　marked　out　for　her　feet　to　tread。　　If　she　were　going　to　eliminate　all　thoughts　of　her　love　and　her　lover　from　her　life；　there　was　no　better　time　to　begin　than　now；　while　her　resolution　was　fresh。　　She　insisted　upon　the　Doctor　remaining；　and　he　did　so。　　Conscious　that　her　embarrassment　had　been　noticed；　her　self…possession　did　not　return　quickly　enough　to　prevent　her　falling　into　the　error　of　failing　to　ignore　this；　and　she　confusedly　stumbled　into　an　explanation：

〃I　have　received　a　letter　from　home　which　contains　news　that　disturbs　me。〃　　This　was　as　far　as　she　had　expected　to　go。

Dr。　Denslow's　face　expressed　a　lively　sympathy。　　〃No　one　dead　or　seriously　ill；　I　trust。〃

〃No；　not　as　bad　as　that；〃　she　answered　hastily；　in　the　first　impulse　of　fear　that　she　had　unwarrantably　excited　his　sympathy。　　〃Nor　is　it　anything　connected　with　property；〃　she　hastily　added；　as　she　saw　the　Doctor　looked　inquiringly；　but　as　though　fearing　that　further　questioning　might　be　an　indelicate　intrusion。

She　picked　nervously　at　the　engagement　ring　which　Harry　had　placed　upon　her　finger。　　It　fitted　closely；　and　resisted　her　efforts　at　removal。　　she　felt；　when　it　was　too　late；　that　neither　this　nor　its　significance　had　escaped　Dr。　Denslow's　eyes。

〃A　f…riendanacquaintance　of　mine　has　disgraced　himself；〃　she　said；　with　a　very　apparent　effort。

An　ordinary　woman　would　have　broken　down　in　a　tearful　tempest；　but　as　has　been　said　before　she　was　denied　that　sweet　relief　which　most　women　find　in　a　readily　responsive　gush　of　tears。　　Her　eyes　became　very　dry　and　exceedingly　hot。　　Her　misery　was　evident。

The　Doctor　took　her　hand　with　a　movement　of　involuntary　sympathy。　〃I　am　deeply　hurt　to　see　you　grieve；〃　he　said；　〃and　I　wish　that　I　might　say　something　to　alleviate　your　troubles。　　Is　it　anything　that　you　can　tell　me　about？〃

〃No；　it　is　nothing　of　which　I　can　say　a　word　to　any　one；〃　she　answered。　　〃It　is　a　trouble　that　I　can　share　with　no　one；　and　least　of　all　with　a　stranger。〃

〃am　I　not　more　than　a　stranger　to　you？〃　he　asked。

〃O　yes；　indeed；