my discovery of england-第20部分

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。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。　Kowfat

　　　Verse　One

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。；　。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。　modus　operandi；　。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。；　。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。；　Negritos：　。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。　P'shu。

　　　Verse　Two

。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。　Khalifate；　。。。。。。。。。。。。。　Dog　Men　of　Darfur：　。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。　T'chk。


Excellent　little　thing；　isn't　it？　All　it　needs　is　the　rhymes。　As　far　as　it　goes　it　has　just　exactly　the　ease　and　the　sweep　required。　And　if　some　one　will　tell　me　how　Owen　Seaman　and　those　people　get　the　rest　of　the　ease　and　the　sweep　I'll　be　glad　to　put　it　in。

One　further　experiment　of　the　same　sort　I　made　with　the　English　Press　in　another　direction　and　met　again　with　failure。　If　there　is　one　paper　in　the　world　for　which　I　have　respect　andif　I　may　say　itan　affection；　it　is　the　London　Spectator。　I　suppose　that　I　am　only　one　of　thousands　and　thousands　of　people　who　feel　that　way。　Why　under　the　circumstances　the　Spectator　failed　to　publish　my　letter　I　cannot　say。　I　wanted　no　money　for　it：　I　only　wanted　the　honour　of　seeing　it　inserted　beside　the　letter　written　from　the　Rectory；　Hops；　Hants；　or　the　Shrubbery；　Potts；　Shrops；I　mean　from　one　of　those　places　where　the　readers　of　the　Spectator　live。　I　thought　too　that　my　letter　had　just　the　right　touch。　However；　they　wouldn't　take　it：　something　wrong　with　it　somewhere；　I　suppose。　This　is　it：

　　　　To　the　Editor；　　　　　　　　The　Spectator；　　　　　　　　　London；　England。　

　　　　Dear　Sir；

　　　　Your　correspondence　of　last　week　contained　such　interesting　　　　　information　in　regard　to　the　appearance　of　the　first　cowslip　　　　　in　Kensington　Common　that　I　trust　that　I　may；　without　　　　　fatiguing　your　readers　to　the　point　of　saturation；　narrate　　　　　a　somewhat　similar　and　I　think；　sir；　an　equally　interesting　　　　　experience　of　my　own。　While　passing　through　Lambeth　Gardens　　　　　yesterday　towards　the　hour　of　dusk　I　observed　a　crow　with　　　　　one　leg　sitting　beside　the　duck…pond　and　apparently　lost　in　　　　　thought。　There　was　no　doubt　that　the　bird　was　of　the　　　　　species　pulex　hibiscus；　an　order　which　is　becoming　　　　　singularly　rare　in　the　vicinity　of　the　metropolis。　Indeed；　　　　　so　far　as　I　am　aware；　the　species　has　not　been　seen　in　　　　　London　since　1680。　I　may　say　that　on　recognising　the　bird　I　　　　　drew　as　near　as　I　could；　keeping　myself　behind　the　　　　　shrubbery；　but　the　pulex　hibiscus　which　apparently　caught　a　　　　　brief　glimpse　of　my　face　uttered　a　cry　of　distress　and　flew　　　　　away。

　　　　I　am；　sir；　　　　　　　　Believe　me；　　　　　　　　yours；　sir；　　　　　　　　　　　O。Y。　Botherwithit。　　　　　　　（Ret'd　Major　Burmese　Army。）；　

Distressed　by　these　repeated　failures；　I　sank　back　to　a　lower　level　of　English　literary　work；　the　puzzle　department。　For　some　reason　or　other　the　English　delight　in　puzzles。　It　is；　I　think；　a　part　of　the　peculiar　school…boy　pedantry　which　is　the　reverse　side　of　their　literary　genius。　I　speak　with　a　certain　bitterness　because　in　puzzle　work　I　met　with　no　success　whatever。　My　solutions　were　never　acknowledged；　never　paid　for；　in　fact　they　were　ignored。　But　I　append　two　or　three　of　them　here；　with　apologies　to　the　editors　of　the　Strand　and　other　papers　who　should　have　had　the　honour　of　publishing　them　first。

　　　　Puzzle　I

Can　you　fold　a　square　piece　of　paper　in　such　a　way　that　with　a　single　fold　it　forms　a　pentagon？

My　Solution：　Yes；　if　I　knew　what　a　pentagon　was。

　　　　Puzzle　II

A　and　B　agree　to　hold　a　walking　match　across　an　open　meadow；　each　seeking　the　shortest　line。　A；　walking　from　corner　to　corner；　may　be　said　to　diangulate　the　hypotenuse　of　the　meadow。　B；　allowing　for　a　slight　rise　in　the　ground；　walks　on　an　obese　tabloid。　Which　wins？

My　Solution：　Frankly；　I　don't　know。

　　　　　Puzzle　III

（With　apologies　to　the　Strand。）

A　rope　is　passed　over　a　pulley。　It　has　a　weight　at　one　end　and　a　monkey　at　the　other。　There　is　the　same　length　of　rope　on　either　side　and　equilibrium　is　maintained。　The　rope　weighs　four　ounces　per　foot。　The　age　of　the　monkey　and　the　age　of　the　monkey's　mother　together　total　four　years。　The　weight　of　the　monkey　is　as　many　pounds　as　the　monkey's　mother　is　years　old。　The　monkey's　mother　was　twice　as　old　as　the　monkey　was　when　the　monkey's　mother　was　half　as　old　as　the　monkey　will　be　when　the　monkey　is　three　times　as　old　as　the　monkey's　mother　was　when　the　monkey's　mother　was　three　times　as　old　as　the　monkey。　The　weight　of　the　rope　with　the　weight　at　the　end　was　half　as　much　again　as　the　difference　in　weight　between　the　weight　of　the　weight　and　the　weight　of　the　monkey。　Now；　what　was　the　length　of　the　rope？

My　Solution：　I　should　think　it　would　have　to　be　a　rope　of　a　fairly　good　length。

In　only　one　department　of　English　journalism　have　I　met　with　a　decided　measure　of　success；　I　refer　to　the　juvenile　competition　department。　This　is　a　sort　of　thing　to　which　the　English　are　especially　addicted。　As　a　really　educated　nation　for　whom　good　literature　begins　in　the　home　they　encourage　in　every　way　literary　competitions　among　the　young　readers　of　their　journals。　At　least　half　a　dozen　of　the　well…known　London　periodicals　carry　on　this　work。　The　prizes　run　all　the　way　from　one　shilling　to　half　a　guinea　and　the　competitions　are　generally　open　to　all　children　from　three　to　six　years　of　age。　It　was　here　that　I　saw　my　open　opportunity　and　seized　it。　I　swept　in　prize　after　prize。　As　〃Little　Agatha〃　I　got　four　shillings　for　the　best　description　of　Autumn　in　two　lines；　and　one　shilling　for　guessing　correctly　the　missing　letters　in　BR…STOL；　SH…FFIELD；　and　H…LL。　A　lot　of　the　competitors　fell　down　on　H…LL。　I　got　six　shillings　for　giving　the　dates　of　the　Norman　Conquest；1492　A。D。；　and　the　Crimean　War　of　1870。　In　short；　the　thing　was　easy。　I　might　say　that　to　enter　these　competitions　one　has　to　have　a　certificate　of　age　from　a　member　of　the　clergy。　But　I　know　a　lot　of　them。



VII。Business　in　England。　　　　　　　WantedMore　Profiteers

It　is　hardly　necessary　to　say　that　so　shrewd　an　observer　as　I　am　could　not　fail　to　be　struck　by　the　situation　of　business　in　England。　Passing　through　the　factory　towns　and　noticing　that　no　smoke　came　from　the　tall　chimneys　and　that　the　doors　of　the　factories　were　shut；　I　was　led　to　the　conclusion　that　they　were　closed。

Observing　that　the　streets　of　the　industrial　centres　were　everywhere　filled　with　idle　men；　I　gathered　that　they　were　unemployed：　and　when　I　learned　that　the　moving　picture　houses　were　full　to　the　doors　every　day　and　that　the　concert　halls；　beer　gardens；　grand　opera；　and　religious　concerts　were　crowded　to　suffocation；　I　inferred　that　the　country　was　suffering　from　an　unparalleled　depression。　　This　diagnosis　turned　out　to　be　absolutely　correct。　It　has　been　freely　estimated　that　at　the　time　I　refer　to　almost　two　million　men　were　out　of　work。

But　it　does　not　require　government　statistics　to　prove　that　in　England　at　the　present　day　everybody　seems　poor；　just　as　in　the　United　States　everybody；　to　the　eye　of　the　visitor；　seems　to　be　rich。　In　England　nobody　seems　to　be　able　to　afford　anything：　in　the　United　States　everybody　seems　to　be　able　to　afford　everything。　　In　England　nobody　smokes　cigars：　in　America　everybody　does。　On　the　English　railways　the　first　class　carriages　are　empty：　in　the　United　States　the　〃reserved　drawingrooms〃　are　fu