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屋顶间的哲学家_梭维斯特-第29部分
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butistherenotanotherofmoreimportance鈥斺�攖hatwhichconcernsthehealthofthesoul？amisosureofhavingneglectednomeansofpreservingthatduringtheyearwhichisnowending？havei；asoneofgodssoldiersuponearth；keptmycourageandmyarmsefficient？shallibereadyforthegreatreviewofsoulswhichmustpassbeforehimwhoisinthedarkvalleyofjehoshaphat？
darestthouexaminethyself；omysoul！andseehowoftenthouhasterred？
first；thouhasterredthroughpride！forihavenotdulyvaluedthelowly。ihavedrunktoodeeplyoftheintoxicatingwinesofgenius；andhavefoundnorelishinpurewater。ihavedisdainedthosewordswhichhadnootherbeautythantheirsincerity；ihaveceasedtolovemensolelybecausetheyaremen鈥斺�攊havelovedthemfortheirendowments；ihavecontractedtheworldwithinthenarrowpassofapantheon；andmysympathyhasbeenawakenedbyadmirationonly。thevulgarcrowd；whichioughttohavefollowedwithafriendlyeyebecauseitisposedofmybrothersinhopeorgrief；ihaveletpassbywithasmuchindifferenceasifitwereaflockofsheep。iamindignantwithhimwhorollsinrichesanddespisesthemanpoorinworldlywealth；andyet；vainofmytriflingknowledge；idespisehimwhoispoorinmind鈥斺�攊scornthepovertyofintellectasothersdothatofdress；itakecreditforagiftwhichididnotbestowonmyself；andturnthefavoroffortuneintoaweaponwithwhichtoattackothers。
ah！if；intheworstdaysofrevolutions；ignorancehasrevoltedandraisedacryofhatredagainstgenius；thefaultisnotaloneintheenviousmaliceofignorance；butesinpart；too；fromthecontemptuousprideofknowledge。
alas！ihavetoopletelyforgottenthefableofthetwosonsofthemagicianofbagdad。
oneofthem；struckbyanirrevocabledecreeofdestiny；wasbornblind；whiletheotherenjoyedallthedelightsofsight。thelatter；proudofhisownadvantages；laughedathisbrothersblindness；anddisdainedhimasapanion。onemorningtheblindboywishedtogooutwithhim。
〃towhatpurpose；〃saidhe；〃sincethegodshaveputnothinginmonbetweenus？formecreationisastage；whereathousandcharmingscenesandwonderfulactorsappearinsuccession；foryouitisonlyanobscureabyss；atthebottomofwhichyouheartheconfusedmurmurofaninvisibleworldntinuethenaloneinyourdarkness；andleavethepleasuresoflighttothoseuponwhomtheday…starshines。〃
withthesewordshewentaway；andhisbrother；leftalone；begantocrybitterly。hisfather；whoheardhim；immediatelyrantohim；andtriedtoconsolehimbypromisingtogivehimwhateverhedesired。
〃canyougivemesight？〃askedthechild。
〃fatedoesnotpermitit；〃saidthemagician。
〃then；〃criedtheblindboy；eagerly；〃iaskyoutoputoutthesun！〃
whoknowswhethermypridehasnotprovokedthesamewishonthepartofsomeoneofmybrotherswhodoesnotsee？
buthowmuchoftenerhaveierredthroughlevityandwantofthought！
howmanyresolutionshaveitakenatrandom！howmanyjudgmentshaveipronouncedforthesakeofawitticism！howmanymischiefshaveinotdonewithoutanysenseofmyresponsibility！thegreaterpartofmenharmoneanotherforthesakeofdoingsomething。welaughatthehonorofone；andpromisethereputationofanother；likeanidlemanwhosauntersalongahedgerow；breakingtheyoungbranchesanddestroyingthemostbeautifulflowers。
and；nevertheless；itisbythisverythoughtlessnessthatthefameofsomemeniscreated。itrisesgradually；likeoneofthosemysteriousmoundsinbarbarouscountries；towhichastoneisaddedbyeverypasserby；eachonebringssomethingatrandom；andaddsitashepasses；withoutbeingablehimselftoseewhetherheisraisingapedestaloragibbet。whowilldarelookbehindhim；toseehisrashjudgmentshelduptheretoview？
sometimeagoiwaswalkingalongtheedgeofthegreenmoundonwhichthemontmartretelegraphstands。belowme；alongoneofthezigzagpathswhichwindupthehill；amanandagirlwereingup；andarrestedmyattention。themanworeashaggycoat；whichgavehimsomeresemblancetoawildbeast；andheheldathickstickinhishand；withwhichhedescribedvariousstrangefiguresintheair。hespokeveryloud；andinavoicewhichseemedtomeconvulsedwithpassion。heraisedhiseyeseverynowandthenwithanexpressionofsavageharshness；anditappearedtomethathewasreproachingandthreateningthegirl；andthatshewaslisteningtohimwithasubmissivenesswhichtouchedmyheart。
twoorthreetimessheventuredafewwords；doubtlessintheattempttojustifyherself；butthemaninthegreatcoatbeganagainimmediatelywithhisloudandangryvoice；hissavagelooks；andhisthreateningevolutionsintheair。ifollowedhimwithmyeyes；vainlyendeavoringtocatchawordashepassed；untilhedisappearedbehindthehill。
ihadevidentlyjustseenoneofthosedomestictyrantswhosesullentempersareexcitedbythepatienceoftheirvictims；andwho；thoughtheyhavethepowertobeethebeneficentgodsofafamily；chooserathertobetheirtormentors。
icursedtheunknownsavageinmyheart；andifeltindignantthatthesecrimesagainstthesacredpeaceofhomecouldnotbepunishedastheydeserve；wheniheardhisvoiceapproachingnearer。hehadturnedthepath；andsoonappearedbeforemeatthetopoftheslope。
thefirstglance；andhisfirstwords；explainedeverythingtome：inplaceofwhatihadtakenforthefurioustonesandterriblelooksofanangryman；andtheattitudeofafrightenedvictim；ihadbeforemeonlyanhonestcitizen；whosquintedandstuttered；butwhowasexplainingthemanagementofsilkwormstohisattentivedaughter。
iturnedhomeward；smilingatmymistake；butbeforeireachedmyfaubourgisawacrowdrunning；iheardcallsforhelp；andeveryfingerpointedinthesamedirectiontoadistantcolumnofflame。
amanufactoryhadtakenfire；andeverybodywasrushingforwardtoassistinextinguishingit。
ihesitated。nightwasingon；ifelttired；afavoritebookwasawaitingme；ithoughttherewouldbenowantofhelp；andiwentonmyway。
justbeforeihaderredfromwantofconsideration；nowitwasfromselfishnessandcowardice。
butwhat！haveinotonathousandotheroccasionsforgottenthedutieswhichbindustoourfellowmen？isthisthefirsttimeihaveavoidedpayingsocietywhatioweit？haveinotalwaysbehavedtomypanionswithinjustice；andlikethelion？haveinotclaimedsuccessivelyeveryshare？ifanyoneissoill…advisedastoaskmetoreturnsomelittleportion；igetprovoked；iamangry；itrytoescapefromitbyeverymeans。howmanytimes；whenihaveperceivedabeggarsittinghuddledupattheendofthestreet；haveinotgoneoutofmyway；forfearthatpassionwouldimpoverishmebyforcingmetobecharitable！howoftenhaveidoubtedthemisfortunesofothers；thatimightwithjusticehardenmyheartagainstthem。
withwhatsatisfactionhaveisometimesverifiedthevicesofthepoorman；inordertoshowthathismiseryisthepunishmenthedeserves！
oh！letusnotgofarther鈥斺�攍etusnotgofarther！iinterruptedthedoctorsexamination；buthowmuchsadderisthisone！wepitythediseasesofthebody；weshudderatthoseofthesoul。
iwashappilydisturbedinmyreveriebymyneighbor；theoldsoldier。
nowithinkofit；iseemalwaystohaveseen；duringmyfever；thefigureofthisgoodoldman；sometimesleaningagainstmybed；andsometimessittingathistable；surroundedbyhissheetsofpasteboard。
hehasjusteinwithhisglue…pot；hisquireofgreenpaper；andhisgreatscissors。icalledhimbyhisname；heutteredajoyfulexclamation；andcamenearme。
〃well！sothebulletisfoundagain！〃criedhe；takingmytwohandsintothemaimedonewhichwaslefthim；〃ithasnotbeenwithouttrouble；icantellyou；thecampaignhasbeenlongenoughtowintwoclaspsin。
ihaveseennofewfellowswiththefeverbatterwindmillsduringmyhospitaldays：atleipsic；ihadaneighborwhofanciedachimneywasonfireinhisstomach；andwhowasalwayscallingforthefire…engines；butthethirddayitallwentoutofitself。butwithyouithaslastedtwenty…eightdays鈥斺�攁slongasoneofthelittlecorporalscampaigns。〃
〃iamnotmistakenthen；youwerenearme？〃
〃well！ihadonlytocrossthepassage。thislefthandhasnotmadeyouabadnur
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