tg.stone of tears-第243部分

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　hate　to　have　to　kill　you；　but　you　know　what　I　am　capable　of。　You　knew　what　my　answer　would　be；　surely；　you　came　here　for　more　than　that。’
　
　‘I　have　told　you　before　how　you　are　using　your　Han　without　knowing　what　you　are　doing；　remember？’
　
　‘Yes；　but　I　don’t　think　I’m　using　my　Han。’
　
　She　lifted　an　eyebrow。　‘Richard；　you　killed　a　mriswith。　As　far　as　I　know；　that　has　not　been　done　in　the　last　three　thousand　years。　You　had　to　use　your　Han　to　do　that。’
　
　‘No；　Sister；　I　used　the　magic　of　the　sword　to　kill　it。’
　
　‘Richard；　I　have　observed　you；　and　learned　a　little　about　both　you　and　your　sword。　The　reason　no　one　has　ever　been　able　to　kill　a　mriswith　is　because　they　never　knew　it　was　ing。　Even　the　Han　of　Sisters　and　wizards　could　not　sense　its　approach。　Your　sword　may　have　killed　the　mriswith；　but　your　Han　let　you　know　it　was　ing。　You　are　calling　on　your　gift；　but　without　control。’
　
　Richard　was　tired。　He　didn’t　feel　like　arguing；　so　he　didn’t。
　
　He　flopped　into　a　plush　chair。　He　remembered　the　way　he　had　seen　the　mriswith　in　his　mind；　had　seen　it　ing。　‘I　don’t　understand　what　I’m　doing；　Sister。　The　mriswith　came；　and　I　protected　myself。’
　
　She　sat　in　a　chair　opposite。　‘Look　at　it　this　way；　Richard；　you　killed　a　beast　as　deadly　as　anything　walking　the　land；　yet　that　little　girl　with　the　big　brown　eyes；　and　about　as　much　power　pared　to　you　as　a　sparrow　pared　to　a　hawk；　just　used　her　Han　to　throw　you　down　the　hall。　I　hope　you　will　study　hard　so　you　may　learn　to　control　your　Han。　You　need　to　get　it　under　control。’
　
　She　looked　at　him　intently。　‘Why　did　you　go　into　the　Hagen　Woods；　after　I　told　you　that　they　are　dangerous？　The　real　reason。　Not　the　justification；　but　the　deep…down…inside　reason。　Please　tell　me　the　truth；　Richard。’
　
　Richard　stretched　back；　looking　up　at　the　ceiling。　He　finally　conceded　with　a　nod。　‘It　was　like　something　drew　me　in。　It　was　a　need。　A　hunger。　It　was　like　I　needed　to　pound　my　fist　against　a　wall；　and　that　was　the　way　to　do　it。’
　
　He　thought　she　might　launch　into　a　lecture；　but　she　didn’t。　Her　tone　was　sympathetic。
　
　‘Richard；　I’ve　been　talking　to　a　few　friends　of　mine。　None　of　us　knows　everything　about　the　magic　of　the　palace；　and　especially　the　Hagen　Woods；　but　there　is　reason　to　believe　that　the　Hagen　Woods　were　placed　there　specifically　for　certain　wizards。’
　
　Richard　studied　her　quiet　expression；　the　creases　in　her　face；　the　sincerity　in　her　eyes。　‘Are　you　saying；　Sister；　that　if　I　need　to　pound　my　fist　against　the　wall；　maybe　I　should　do　so？’
　
　She　gave　a　slight　lift　to　her　eyebrows。　The　Creator　gave　us　hunger　so　we　would　eat；　because　eating　is　necessary。’
　
　‘What　would　be　the　purpose　of　a　hunger　like　mine？’
　
　She　shook　her　head。　‘I　don’t　know。　For　a　second　time　in　as　many　days；　the　Prelate　has　declined　to　grant　me　an　audience。
　
　But　I’m　going　to　try　to　find　some　answers。　In　the　meantime；　just　please　don’t　let　the　sun　set　on　you　in　the　Hagen　Woods。’
　
　‘Is　this　what　you　came　to　tell　me；　Sister？’
　
　She　looked　away；　and　paused；　rubbing　her　forehead　with　two　fingers。　She　looked　uncertain。　He　had　never　seen　her　like　this。　‘Richard；　there　are　things　going　on　that　I　don’t　understand；　and　they　are　connected　to　you；　events　are　not　happening　as　they　should。’　She　saw　his　curious　look。　‘I　can’t　talk　about　them　just　yet。’
　
　She　cleared　her　throat。　‘Richard；　I　don’t　want　you　to　trust　every　one　of　the　Sisters。’
　
　Richard　lifted　an　eyebrow。　‘Sister；　I　trust　none　of　you。’
　
　That　brought　a　short…lived　smile　to　her　face。　‘For　now；　that　would　be　best。　That　was　what　I　wanted　to　tell　you。　I’m　going　to　find　the　answers；　but…for　now；　well；　let’s　just　say　that　I　know　you　will　do　as　you　must　to　stay　safe。’
　
　After　Sister　Verna　left；　Richard　thought　about　what　she　had　said；　and　about　the　things　Warren　had　told　him。　Mostly；　he　thought　about　the　Stone　of　Tears。
　
　It　puzzled　him　that　the　magic　in　the　Valley　of　the　Lost　would　present　him　with　a　vision　of　something　he　had　never　seen　before；　and　put　it　around　Rachel’s　neck。　The　other　visions　seemed　to　have　been　anchored　in　his　longings　and　fears。　Maybe　because　he　missed　seeing　his　friend；　Chase；　he　saw　the　vision　of　Rachel；　too；　she　would　be　with　Chase。　But　why　would　the　vision　put　around　her　neck　something　he　had　never　seen　before；　which　turned　out　to　look　like　a　drawing　in　a　book？
　
　Maybe　they　weren’t　the　same　thing。　He　told　himself　they　couldn’t　be；　but　an　uneasy　feeling　inside　said　otherwise。
　
　As　much　as　he　missed　Chase　and　Rachel；　it　was　the　stone　around　Rachel’s　neck　that　had　captured　his　attention。　It　was　as　if　Rachel　were　bringing　it　to　him　for　Zedd；　and　Zedd　had　been　there　with　him；　urging　him　to　take　the　stone。
　
　Pasha’s　knock　at　the　door　brought　him　out　of　his　brooding。　She　was　wearing　a　plain；　brownish　gray　dress　with　small；　pink　cloth　buttons　up　the　front；　all　the　way　up　to　her　neck。　Though　it　didn’t　show　the　expanse　of　flesh　the　green　dress　had；　it　was　tailored　so　that　it　revealed　nearly　every　detail　of　her　shape。　The　fact　that　it　covered　everything　only　made　what　it　covered　all　that　much　more　intriguing。　The　color　somehow　brought　out　the　softness　of　her　brown　hair。
　
　Pasha　sat　cross…legged　on　the　floor；　on　the　blue　and　yellow　carpet　in　front　of　the　fireplace。　She　draped　her　dress　carefully　over　her　knees　and　then　looked　up。　‘Here。　Sit　like　me；　in　front　of　me。’
　
　Richard　sat　on　the　floor　and　folded　his　legs。　She　motioned　him　to　e　closer　until　their　knees　touched。　She　took　his　hands　and　held　them　lightly　as　they　rested　across　both　their　knees。
　
　‘Sister　Verna　didn’t　do　this　when　I　practiced。’
　
　‘That　was　because　the　Rada’Han　had　to　be　within　the　circle　of　influence　of　the　magic　of　the　palace　before　we　could　practice　in　this　way。　Until　now；　when　you　have　practiced　touching　your　Han；　it　has　been　alone。　Most　of　the　time　from　now　on；　I；　or　a　Sister；　will　use　our　Han　to　assist　you。’　She　smiled。　‘It　will　help　you　progress　faster；　Richard。’
　
　‘All　right。　What　do　you　want　me　to　do？’
　
　‘She　told　you　how　to　try　to　reach　your　Han？　How　to　concentrate　on　finding　that　place　within　yourself？’　Richard　nodded。　That　is　what　I　want　you　to　do。　While　you　search　for　that　place；　I　will　use　my　Han；　through　the　Rada’Han；　to　try　to　guide　you。’
　
　Richard　squirmed　a　little；　getting　more　fortable。　Pasha　took　back　a　hand　and　fanned　her　face。　This　dress　seems　so　warm；　after　wearing　the　other。’　She　unbuttoned　the　top　five　buttons　of　her　dress　and　then　took　his　hand　up　again。　Richard　glanced　at　the　fire；　to　check　the　logs；　so　he　would　know　how　long　it　had　been　when　he　opened　his　eyes　again。　He　could　never　seem　to　judge　the　time　while　he　searched　for　his　Han。　It　always　seemed　like　mere　minutes；　but　it　was　usually　at　least　an　hour。
　
　Richard　closed　his　eyes。　He　brought　forth　the　image　of　the　Sword　of　Truth　on　a　plain　background。　As　the　quiet　settled　over　him；　as　he　sought　the　peace　within；　his　breathing　slowed。　He　took　a　long　breath；　and　then　let　himself　sink　into　the　calm　center。
　
　He　was　aware　of　Pasha’s　hands　holding　his；　of　her　knees　touching　his；　and