tg.stone of tears-第82部分

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She　had　hoped　she　wouldn’t　have　to　use　them。　Whatever　link　he　had　to　sanity　dissolved　in　that　instant。　She　saw　it　in　his　eyes：　the　thing　she　feared　more　than　death。
　
　Betrayal。
　
　She　released　her　grip　on　his　hair　as；　on　his　knees；　he　turned　to　Sister　Verna。　She　lifted　the　collar　a　little；　holding　it　out　to　him。　It　looked　dull；　gray；　dead　in　the　cold　light。　Richard　stared　at　it。　Snowflakes　drifted　down　in　the　still；　quiet　light。　Expressionless；　Sister　Verna　watched　him。
　
　All　right；’　he　whispered。　His　shaking　hand　reached　for　the　collar。　His　fingers　touched　it；　curled　around　it。　‘I　accept　the　offer。　I　accept　the　collar。’
　
　‘Then　put　it　around　your　neck；’　Sister　Verna　said　in　a　soft　voice；　‘and　close　it。’
　
　He　turned　to　Kahlan。　‘I　would　do　anything　for　you；’　he　whispered。
　
　Kahlan　wanted　to　die。
　
　His　hands　shook　so　much　she　thought　he　might　drop　the　collar　as　he　took　it　from　Sister　Verna。　He　held　it；　staring　at　it。
　
　But　then　his　hands　stopped　shaking。　He　took　a　deep　breath　and　put　the　collar　around　his　neck。　It　closed　with　a　snap；　and　the　seam　disappeared；　leaving　a　smooth　ring　of　metal。
　
　The　shaft　of　light　dimmed　as　if　to　twilight　even　though　it　was　still　day。　Deep；　ominous　thunder　rumbled　in　every　direction　out　across　the　grasslands。　It　didn’t　sound　like　any　thunder　Kahlan　had　ever　heard　before。　She　could　feel　it　in　the　ground　beneath　her　feet。　She　thought　that　maybe　it　had　something　to　do　with　the　magic　of　the　collar；　something　to　do　with　the　Sisters。
　
　She　knew；　when　she　glanced　at　Sister　Verna　and　saw　her　eyes　glide　around；　that　it　wasn’t。
　
　Richard　smoothly　rose　to　his　feet　before　the　Sister。　‘You　may　find；　Sister　Verna；　that　holding　the　leash　to　this　collar　is　worse　than　wearing　it。’　He　gritted　his　teeth。　‘Much　worse。’
　
　Sister　Verna’s　voice　remained　calm。　‘We　only　want　to　help　you；　Richard。’
　
　He　nodded　slightly。　‘I　take　nothing　on　faith。　You　will　have　to　prove　it。’
　
　In　a　panic；　a　sudden　thought　came　to　Kahlan。　‘What　is　the　third　reason？　What　is　the　third　reason　for　the　collar？’
　
　Richard　turned　to　her　with　a　glare　that　even　his　father　could　not　have　matched。　For　a　moment；　she　forgot　how　to　breathe。
　
　‘The　first　reason　is　to　control　the　headaches　and　open　my　mind　so　that　I　may　be　taught　to　use　the　gift。　The　second　reason　is　to　control　me。’　His　hand　came　up　and　grabbed　her　by　the　throat。　His　eyes　sliced　through　her。　‘The　third　reason　is　to　give　me　pain。’
　
　She　closed　her　eyes　with　a　wail。　‘No！　Dear　spirits；　no！’
　
　He　released　her　throat。　His　expression　went　slack；　lost。　‘I　hope　I　have　proven　my　love　for　you；　Kahlan。　I　hope　you　believe　me　now。　I　have　given　you　everything。　I　hope　it　is　enough；　I　have　nothing　else　to　offer。　Nothing。’
　
　‘You　have。　More　than　you　could　ever　realize。　I　love　you　more　than　anything　in　the　world；　Richard。’
　
　She　reached　out　to　touch　his　cheek。　He　pushed　her　hand　away。　His　eyes　said　it　all；　she　had　betrayed　him。
　
　‘Do　you？’　He　looked　away。　‘I　would　like　to　believe　you。’
　
　She　tried　to　swallow　the　painful；　burning　lump　in　her　throat。　‘You　promised　me　you　would　never　doubt　my　love。’
　
　He　nodded　slightly。　‘So　I　did。’
　
　If　she　could　have　called　lightning　down　on　herself；　she　would　have　done　it。　‘Richard　。。。　I　know　you　don’t　understand　right　now；　but　I　only　did　what　I　had　to　…　to　help　you　live。　To　keep　you　from　being　killed　by　the　headaches；　the　gift。　I　hope　that　someday　you　will　understand。　I　will　always　wait　for　you；　I　love　you　with　all　my　heart。’
　
　He　nodded　tearfully。　‘If　that’s　true；　then　find　Zedd。　Tell　him　what　you　have　done。　Tell　him。’
　
　Sister　Verna’s　voice　broke　in。　‘Richard；　take　your　things　and　go　wait　with　the　horses。’
　
　Looking　back　at　her；　he　nodded。　He　went　to　the　far　corner　and　picked　up　his　cloak；　bow；　and　pack。　Reaching　in；　he　pulled　out　the　three　leather　thongs；　the　one　with　the　Bird　Man’s　whistle；　the　one　with　Scarlet’s　tooth；　and　the　one　with　Denna’s　Agiel。　As　Kahlan　watched　him　hang　the　three　of　them　around　his　neck；　she　wished　she　had　something　of　her　own　to　give　him。　She　tried　desperately　to　think　of　something。
　
　As　he　went　past　her；　she　put　a　hand　to　his　arm　and　stopped　him。　‘Wait。’　Kahlan　pulled　the　knife　from　his　belt。　She　held　out　a　long　lock　of　her　hair　and　severed　it　with　the　knife。　She　didn’t　even　think　about　what　she　was　doing；　what　happened　when　Confessors　cut　their　own　hair。
　
　With　a　scream　of　pain；　she　found　herself　on　the　ground。　The　magic　seared　through　her；　burning　every　nerve　in　its　passing。　She　fought　to　remain　conscious　as　she　gulped　for　air。　She　struggled　against　the　wrenching　pain　of　it。
　
　She　had　to　remain　conscious；　or　Richard　might　leave　before　she　could　give　it　to　him。　She　thought　of　only　that；　and　forced　herself　to　her　feet。　As　she　did　so；　the　pain　finally　abated。
　
　Still　panting；　Kahlan　pulled　a　small　blue　ribbon　from　the　waist　of　the　dress；　cut　it　too；　and　after　wrapping　the　long　strand　of　hair　around　two　fingers；　tied　it　together　in　the　middle　with　the　ribbon。　As　he　watched；　she　returned　the　knife　to　its　sheath　at　his　belt　and　put　the　lock　of　hair　in　his　shirt　pocket。
　
　‘To　remind　you　always　that　my　heart　is　with　you　。。。　that　I　love　you。’
　
　Expressionless；　he　looked　at　her　a　long　moment。　‘Find　Zedd；’　was　all　he　said　before　turning　and　going　through　the　doorway。
　
　Kahlan　stood；　staring　at　the　door　after　he　was　gone。　She　felt　numb；　empty；　lost。
　
　Sister　Verna　stopped　next　to　her；　watching　the　door　with　her。　That　was　probably　the　most　courageous　act　I　have　ever　witnessed；’　she　said　softly。　The　people　of　the　Midlands　are　fortunate　to　have　you　as　their　Mother　Confessor。’
　
　Kahlan　continued　to　stare　at　the　door。　‘He　thinks　I　betrayed　him。’　She　turned　and　looked　at　the　Sister；　tears　welling　up　in　her　eyes。　‘He　thinks　I　betrayed　him。’
　
　The　Sister　studied　her　face　for　a　time。　‘You　have　not。　I　promise　you　that　in　time　I　will　help　him　to　see　the　truth　of　what　you　have　done　this　day。’
　
　‘Please；’　she　begged；　‘don’t　hurt　him。’
　
　Sister　Verna　clasped　her　hands　in　front　of　herself　and　took　a　deep　breath。　‘You　have　just　hurt　him　to　save　his　life。　Would　you　have　me　do　any　less？’
　
　A　tear　ran　down　her　cheek。　‘I　guess　not。　And　I　doubt　you　could　do　anything　as　cruel　as　what　I　have　just　done。’
　
　Sister　Verna　nodded。　‘I　fear　you　are　right。　But　I　will　give　you　my　promise　that　I　will　personally　watch　over　him；　and　see　to　it　that　what　is　done　is　only　what　is　necessary。　I　promise　you　that　I　will　not　let　it　go　one　inch　beyond　that。　Not　one　breath。　On　my　word　as　a　Sister　of　the　Light。’
　
　Thank　you。’　She　looked　down　at　the　knife　in　the　other’s　hand。　The　sister　pushed　it　back　up　her　sleeve。　‘You　would　have　killed　him。　If　he　said　no；　you　would　have　killed　him。’
　
　She　nodded。　‘If　he　had　said　no；　the　pain　and　madness　at　the　end　would　have　been　grotesque。　I　would　have　spared　him　that。　But　it　doesn’t　matter　now。　You　have　saved　his　life。　Thank　you；　Mother　Confessor　。。。　Kahlan。’
　
　Sister　Verna　stepped　toward　the　door。　‘Sister？　How　long？　How　long　will　you　have　him？　How　long　will　I　have　to