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an inland voyage-第19部分

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  seizure of lying suffered by the CIGARETTE:  who; because his knife  came from Norway; narrated all sorts of adventures in that country;  where he has never been。  He was quite feverish at the end; and  pleaded demoniacal possession。

Moy (pronounce Moy) was a pleasant little village; gathered round a  chateau in a moat。  The air was perfumed with hemp from  neighbouring fields。  At the Golden Sheep we found excellent  entertainment。  German shells from the siege of La Fere; Nurnberg  figures; gold…fish in a bowl; and all manner of knick…knacks;  embellished the public room。  The landlady was a stout; plain;  short…sighted; motherly body; with something not far short of a  genius for cookery。  She had a guess of her excellence herself。   After every dish was sent in; she would come and look on at the  dinner for a while; with puckered; blinking eyes。  'C'EST BON;  N'EST…CE PAS?' she would say; and when she had received a proper  answer; she disappeared into the kitchen。  That common French dish;  partridge and cabbages; became a new thing in my eyes at the Golden  Sheep; and many subsequent dinners have bitterly disappointed me in  consequence。  Sweet was our rest in the Golden Sheep at Moy。



LA FERE OF CURSED MEMORY



WE lingered in Moy a good part of the day; for we were fond of  being philosophical; and scorned long journeys and early starts on  principle。  The place; moreover; invited to repose。  People in  elaborate shooting costumes sallied from the chateau with guns and  game…bags; and this was a pleasure in itself; to remain behind  while these elegant pleasure…seekers took the first of the morning。   In this way; all the world may be an aristocrat; and play the duke  among marquises; and the reigning monarch among dukes; if he will  only outvie them in tranquillity。  An imperturbable demeanour comes  from perfect patience。  Quiet minds cannot be perplexed or  frightened; but go on in fortune or misfortune at their own private  pace; like a clock during a thunderstorm。

We made a very short day of it to La Fere; but the dusk was  falling; and a small rain had begun before we stowed the boats。  La  Fere is a fortified town in a plain; and has two belts of rampart。   Between the first and the second extends a region of waste land and  cultivated patches。  Here and there along the wayside were posters  forbidding trespass in the name of military engineering。  At last;  a second gateway admitted us to the town itself。  Lighted windows  looked gladsome; whiffs of comfortable cookery came abroad upon the  air。  The town was full of the military reserve; out for the French  Autumn Manoeuvres; and the reservists walked speedily and wore  their formidable great…coats。  It was a fine night to be within  doors over dinner; and hear the rain upon the windows。

The CIGARETTE and I could not sufficiently congratulate each other  on the prospect; for we had been told there was a capital inn at La  Fere。  Such a dinner as we were going to eat! such beds as we were  to sleep in! … and all the while the rain raining on houseless folk  over all the poplared countryside!  It made our mouths water。  The  inn bore the name of some woodland animal; stag; or hart; or hind;  I forget which。  But I shall never forget how spacious and how  eminently habitable it looked as we drew near。  The carriage entry  was lighted up; not by intention; but from the mere superfluity of  fire and candle in the house。  A rattle of many dishes came to our  ears; we sighted a great field of table…cloth; the kitchen glowed  like a forge and smelt like a garden of things to eat。

Into this; the inmost shrine and physiological heart of a hostelry;  with all its furnaces in action; and all its dressers charged with  viands; you are now to suppose us making our triumphal entry; a  pair of damp rag…and…bone men; each with a limp india…rubber bag  upon his arm。  I do not believe I have a sound view of that  kitchen; I saw it through a sort of glory:  but it seemed to me  crowded with the snowy caps of cookmen; who all turned round from  their saucepans and looked at us with surprise。  There was no doubt  about the landlady; however:  there she was; heading her army; a  flushed; angry woman; full of affairs。  Her I asked politely … too  politely; thinks the CIGARETTE … if we could have beds:  she  surveying us coldly from head to foot。

'You will find beds in the suburb;' she remarked。  'We are too busy  for the like of you。'

If we could make an entrance; change our clothes; and order a  bottle of wine; I felt sure we could put things right; so said I:   'If we cannot sleep; we may at least dine;' … and was for  depositing my bag。

What a terrible convulsion of nature was that which followed in the  landlady's face!  She made a run at us; and stamped her foot。

'Out with you … out of the door!' she screeched。  'SORTEZ! SORTEZ!  SORTEZ PAR LA PORTE!'

I do not know how it happened; but next moment we were out in the  rain and darkness; and I was cursing before the carriage entry like  a disappointed mendicant。  Where were the boating men of Belgium?  where the Judge and his good wines? and where the graces of Origny?   Black; black was the night after the firelit kitchen; but what was  that to the blackness in our heart?  This was not the first time  that I have been refused a lodging。  Often and often have I planned  what I should do if such a misadventure happened to me again。  And  nothing is easier to plan。  But to put in execution; with the heart  boiling at the indignity?  Try it; try it only once; and tell me  what you did。

It is all very fine to talk about tramps and morality。  Six hours  of police surveillance (such as I have had); or one brutal  rejection from an inn…door; change your views upon the subject like  a course of lectures。  As long as you keep in the upper regions;  with all the world bowing to you as you go; social arrangements  have a very handsome air; but once get under the wheels; and you  wish society were at the devil。  I will give most respectable men a  fortnight of such a life; and then I will offer them twopence for  what remains of their morality。

For my part; when I was turned out of the Stag; or the Hind; or  whatever it was; I would have set the temple of Diana on fire; if  it had been handy。  There was no crime complete enough to express  my disapproval of human institutions。  As for the CIGARETTE; I  never knew a man so altered。  'We have been taken for pedlars  again;' said he。  'Good God; what it must be to be a pedlar in  reality!'  He particularised a complaint for every joint in the  landlady's body。  Timon was a philanthropist alongside of him。  And  then; when he was at the top of his maledictory bent; he would  suddenly break away and begin whimperingly to commiserate the poor。   'I hope to God;' he said; … and I trust the prayer was answered; …  'that I shall never be uncivil to a pedlar。'  Was this the  imperturbable CIGARETTE?  This; this was he。  O change beyond  report; thought; or belief!

Meantime the heaven wept upon our heads; and the windows grew  brighter as the night increased in darkness。  We trudged in and out  of La Fere streets; we saw shops; and private houses where people 
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