the soul of the far east-第4部分

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l　long　afterwards；　when　he　has　learned　to　live　as　a　matter　of　course　with　his　ever…present　ghost；　does　he　discover　that　others　have　had　like　familiars　themselves。

Sometimes　this　dawn　of　consciousness　is　preceded　by　a　long　twilight　of　soul…awakening；　but　sometimes；　upon　more　sensitive　and　subtler　natures；　the　light　breaks　with　all　the　suddenness　of　a　sunrise　at　the　equator；　revealing　to　the　mind's　eye　an　unsuspected　world　of　self　within。　　But　in　whatever　way　we　may　awake　to　it；　the　sense　of　personality；　when　first　realized；　appears　already；　like　the　fabled　Goddess　of　Wisdom；　full　grown　in　the　brain。　　From　the　moment　when　we　first　remember　ourselves　we　seem　to　be　as　old　as　we　ever　seem　to　others　afterwards　to　become。　　We　grow；　indeed；　in　knowledge；　in　wisdom；　in　experience；　as　our　years　increase；　but　deep　down　in　our　heart　of　hearts　we　are　still　essentially　the　same。　　To　be　sure；　people　pay　us　more　deference　than　they　did；　which　suggests　a　doubt　at　times　whether　we　may　not　have　changed；　small　boys　of　a　succeeding　generation　treat　us　with　a　respect　that　causes　us　inwardly　to　smile；　as　we　think　how　little　we　differ　from　them；　if　they　but　knew　it。　For　at　bottom　we　are　not　conscious　of　change　from　that　morning；　long　ago；　when　first　we　realized　ourselves。　　We　feel　just　as　young　now　as　we　felt　old　then。　　We　are　but　amused　at　the　world's　discrimination　where　we　can　detect　no　difference。

Every　human　being　has　been　thus　〃twice　born〃：　once　as　matter；　once　as　mind。　　Nor　is　this　second　birth　the　birthright　only　of　mankind。　All　the　higher　animals　probably；　possibly　even　the　lower　too；　have　experienced　some　such　realization　of　individual　identity。　　However　that　may　be；　certainly　to　all　races　of　men　has　come　this　revelation；　only　the　degree　in　which　they　have　felt　its　force　has　differed　immensely。　　It　is　one　thing　to　the　apathetic；　fatalistic　Turk；　and　quite　another　matter　to　an　energetic；　nervous　American。　　Facts；　fancies；　faiths；　all　show　how　wide　is　the　variance　in　feelings。　　With　them　no　introspective　＇greek＇cnzhi　seauton　overexcites　the　consciousness　of　self。　　But　with　us；　as　with　those　of　old　possessed　of　devils；　it　comes　to　startle　and　stays　to　distress。　　Too　apt　is　it　to　prove　an　ever…present；　undesirable　double。　　Too　often　does　it　play　the　part　of　uninvited　spectre　at　the　feast；　whose　presence　no　one　save　its　unfortunate　victim　suspects。　　The　haunting　horror　of　his　own　identity　is　to　natures　far　less　eccentric　than　Kenelm　Chillingly's　only　too　common　a　curse。　　To　this　companionship；　paradoxical　though　it　sound；　is　principally　due　the　peculiar　loneliness　of　childhood。　　For　nothing　is　so　isolating　as　a　persistent　idea　which　one　dares　not　confide。

And　yet；stranger　paradox　still；was　there　ever　any　one　willing　to　exchange　his　personality　for　another's？　　Who　can　imagine　foregoing　his　own　self？　　Nay；　do　we　not　cling　even　to　its　outward　appearance？　　Is　there　a　man　so　poor　in　all　that　man　holds　dear　that　he　does　not　keenly　resent　being　accidentally　mistaken　for　his　neighbor？　　Surely　there　must　be　something　more　than　mirage　in　this　deep…implanted；　widespread　instinct　of　human　race。

But　however　strong　the　conviction　now　of　one's　individuality；　is　there　aught　to　assure　him　of　its　continuance　beyond　the　confines　of　its　present　life？　　Will　it　awake　on　death's　morrow　and　know　itself；　or　will　it；　like　the　body　that　gave　it　lodgment；　disintegrate　again　into　indistinguishable　spirit　dust？　　Close　upon　the　heels　of　the　existing　consciousness　of　self　treads　the　shadow…like　doubt　of　its　hereafter。　　Will　analogy　help　to　answer　the　grewsome　riddle　of　the　Sphinx？　　Are　the　laws　we　have　learned　to　be　true　for　matter　true　also　for　mind？　　Matter　we　now　know　is　indestructible；　yet　the　form　of　it　with　which　we　once　were　so　fondly　familiar　vanishes　never　to　return。　Is　a　like　fate　to　be　the　lot　of　the　soul？　　That　mind　should　be　capable　of　annihilation　is　as　inconceivable　as　that　matter　should　cease　to　be。　　Surely　the　spirit　we　feel　existing　round　about　us　on　every　side　now　has　been　from　ever；　and　will　be　for　ever　to　come。　But　that　portion　of　it　which　we　each　know　as　self；　is　it　not　like　to　a　drop　of　rain　seen　in　its　falling　through　the　air？　　Indistinguishable　the　particle　was　in　the　cloud　whence　it　came；　indistinguishable　it　will　become　again　in　the　ocean　whither　it　is　bound。　　Its　personality　is　but　its　passing　phase　from　a　vast　impersonal　on　the　one　hand　to　an　equally　vast　impersonal　on　the　other。　　Thus　seers　preached　in　the　past；　so　modem　science　is　hinting　to…day。　　With　us　the　idea　seems　the　bitter　fruit　of　material　philosophy；　by　them　it　was　looked　upon　as　the　fairest　flower　of　their　faith。　　What　is　dreaded　now　as　the　impious　suggestion　of　the　godless　four　thousand　years　ago　was　reverenced　as　a　sacred　tenet　of　religion。

Shorter　even　than　his　short　threescore　years　and　ten　is　that　soul's　life　of　which　man　is　directly　cognizant。　　Bounded　by　two　seemingly　impersonal　states　is　the　personal　consciousness　of　which　he　is　made　aware：　the　one　the　infantile　existence　that　precedes　his　boyish　discovery；　the　other　the　gloom　that　grows　with　years；two　twilights　that　fringe　the　two　borders　of　his　day。　　But　with　the　Far　Oriental；　life　is　all　twilight。　　For　in　Japan　and　China　both　states　are　found　together。　　There；　side　by　side　with　the　present　unconsciousness　of　the　babe　exists　the　belief　in　a　coming　unconsciousness　for　the　man。　　So　inseparably　blended　are　the　two　that　the　known　truth　of　the　one　seems；　for　that　very　bond；　to　carry　with　it　the　credentials　of　the　other。　　Can　it　be　that　the　personal；　progressive　West　is　wrong；　and　the　impersonal；　impassive　East　right？　　Surely　not。　　Is　the　other　side　of　the　world　in　advance　of　us　in　mind…development；　even　as　it　precedes　us　in　the　time　of　day；　or　just　as　our　noon　is　its　night；　may　it　not　be　far　in　our　rear？　　Is　not　its　seeming　wisdom　rather　the　precociousness　of　what　is　destined　never　to　go　far？

Brought　suddenly　upon　such　a　civilization；　after　the　blankness　of　a　long　ocean　voyage；　one　is　reminded　instinctively　of　the　feelings　of　that　bewildered　individual　who；　after　a　dinner　at　which　he　had　eventually　ceased　to　be　himself；　was　by　way　of　pleasantry　left　out　overnight　in　a　graveyard；　on　their　way　home；　by　his　humorously　inclined　companions；　and　who；　on　awaking　alone；　in　a　still　dubious　condition；　looked　around　him　in　surprise；　rubbed　his　eyes　two　or　three　times　to　no　purpose；　and　finally　muttered　in　a　tone　of　awe…struck　conviction；　〃Well；　either　I'm　the　first　to　rise；　or　I'm　a　long　way　behind　time！〃

Whether　their　failure　to　follow　the　natural　course　of　evolution　results　in　bringing　them　in　at　the　death　just　the　same　or　not；　these　people　are　now；　at　any　rate；　stationary　not　very　far　from　the　point　at　which　we　all　set　out。　　They　are　still　in　that　childish　state　of　development　before　self…consciousness　has　spoiled　the　sweet　simplicity　of　nature。　　An　impersonal　race　seems　never　to　have　fully　grown　up。

Partly　for　its　own　sake；　partly　for　ours；　this　most　distinctive　feature　of　the　Far　East；　its　marked　impersonality；　is　well　worthy　particular　attention；　for　while　it　collaterally　suggests　pregnant　thoughts　about　ourselves；　it　directly　underlies　the　deeper　oddities　of　a　civilization　which　is　the　modern　eighth　wonder　of　the　w