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she stoops to conquer-第11部分

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MRS。 HARDCASTLE。  Was there ever such a blockhead; that can't tell the difference between jest and earnest?  I tell you I'm not in jest; booby。

TONY。  That's right; that's right; you must be in a bitter passion; and then nobody will suspect either of us。  I'll bear witness that they are gone。

MRS。 HARDCASTLE。  Was there ever such a cross…grained brute; that won't hear me?  Can you bear witness that you're no better than a fool?  Was ever poor woman so beset with fools on one hand; and thieves on the other?

TONY。  I can bear witness to that。

MRS。 HARDCASTLE。  Bear witness again; you blockhead you; and I'll turn you out of the room directly。  My poor niece; what will become of her?  Do you laugh; you unfeeling brute; as if you enjoyed my distress?

TONY。  I can bear witness to that。

MRS。 HARDCASTLE。  Do you insult me; monster?  I'll teach you to vex your mother; I will。

TONY。  I can bear witness to that。  'He runs off; she follows him。'


Enter Miss HARDCASTLE and Maid。


MISS HARDCASTLE。  What an unaccountable creature is that brother of mine; to send them to the house as an inn! ha! ha!  I don't wonder at his impudence。

MAID。  But what is more; madam; the young gentleman; as you passed by in your present dress; asked me if you were the bar…maid。  He mistook you for the bar…maid; madam。

MISS HARDCASTLE。  Did he?  Then as I live; I'm resolved to keep up the delusion。  Tell me; Pimple; how do you like my present dress?  Don't you think I look something like Cherry in the Beaux Stratagem?

MAID。  It's the dress; madam; that every lady wears in the country; but when she visits or receives company。

MISS HARDCASTLE。  And are you sure he does not remember my face or person?

MAID。  Certain of it。

MISS HARDCASTLE。  I vow; I thought so; for; though we spoke for some time together; yet his fears were such; that he never once looked up during the interview。  Indeed; if he had; my bonnet would have kept him from seeing me。

MAID。  But what do you hope from keeping him in his mistake?

MISS HARDCASTLE。  In the first place I shall be seen; and that is no small advantage to a girl who brings her face to market。  Then I shall perhaps make an acquaintance; and that's no small victory gained over one who never addresses any but the wildest of her sex。  But my chief aim is; to take my gentleman off his guard; and; like an invisible champion of romance; examine the giant's force before I offer to combat。

MAID。  But you are sure you can act your part; and disguise your voice so that he may mistake that; as he has already mistaken your person?

MISS HARDCASTLE。  Never fear me。  I think I have got the true bar cantDid your honour call?Attend the Lion therePipes and tobacco for the Angel。The Lamb has been outrageous this half…hour。

MAID。  It will do; madam。  But he's here。  'Exit MAID。'


Enter MARLOW。


MARLOW。  What a bawling in every part of the house!  I have scarce a moment's repose。  If I go to the best room; there I find my host and his story: if I fly to the gallery; there we have my hostess with her curtsey down to the ground。  I have at last got a moment to myself; and now for recollection。  'Walks and muses。'

MISS HARDCASTLE。  Did you call; sir?  Did your honour call?

MARLOW。  (Musing。)  As for Miss Hardcastle; she's too grave and sentimental for me。

MISS HARDCASTLE。  Did your honour call?  (She still places herself before him; he turning away。)

MARLOW。  No; child。  (Musing。)  Besides; from the glimpse I had of her; I think she squints。

MISS HARDCASTLE。  I'm sure; sir; I heard the bell ring。

MARLOW。  No; no。  (Musing。)  I have pleased my father; however; by coming down; and I'll to…morrow please myself by returning。  'Taking out his tablets; and perusing。'

MISS HARDCASTLE。  Perhaps the other gentleman called; sir?

MARLOW。  I tell you; no。

MISS HARDCASTLE。  I should be glad to know; sir。  We have such a parcel of servants!

MARLOW。  No; no; I tell you。  (Looks full in her face。)  Yes; child; I think I did call。  I wantedI wantedI vow; child; you are vastly handsome。

MISS HARDCASTLE。  O la; sir; you'll make one ashamed。

MARLOW。  Never saw a more sprightly malicious eye。  Yes; yes; my dear; I did call。  Have you got any of yourawhat d'ye call it in the house?

MISS HARDCASTLE。  No; sir; we have been out of that these ten days。

MARLOW。  One may call in this house; I find; to very little purpose。  Suppose I should call for a taste; just by way of a trial; of the nectar of your lips; perhaps I might be disappointed in that too。

MISS HARDCASTLE。  Nectar! nectar!  That's a liquor there's no call for in these parts。  French; I suppose。  We sell no French wines here; sir。

MARLOW。  Of true English growth; I assure you。

MISS HARDCASTLE。  Then it's odd I should not know it。  We brew all sorts of wines in this house; and I have lived here these eighteen years。

MARLOW。  Eighteen years!  Why; one would think; child; you kept the bar before you were born。  How old are you?

MISS HARDCASTLE。  O! sir; I must not tell my age。  They say women and music should never be dated。

MARLOW。  To guess at this distance; you can't be much above forty (approaching)。  Yet; nearer; I don't think so much (approaching)。  By coming close to some women they look younger still; but when we come very close indeed(attempting to kiss her)。

MISS HARDCASTLE。  Pray; sir; keep your distance。  One would think you wanted to know one's age; as they do horses; by mark of mouth。

MARLOW。  I protest; child; you use me extremely ill。  If you keep me at this distance; how is it possible you and I can ever be acquainted?

MISS HARDCASTLE。  And who wants to be acquainted with you?  I want no such acquaintance; not I。  I'm sure you did not treat Miss Hardcastle; that was here awhile ago; in this obstropalous manner。  I'll warrant me; before her you looked dashed; and kept bowing to the ground; and talked; for all the world; as if you was before a justice of peace。

MARLOW。  (Aside。)  Egad; she has hit it; sure enough!  (To her。)  In awe of her; child?  Ha! ha! ha!  A mere awkward squinting thing; no; no。  I find you don't know me。  I laughed and rallied her a little; but I was unwilling to be too severe。  No; I could not be too severe; curse me!

MISS HARDCASTLE。  O! then; sir; you are a favourite; I find; among the ladies?

MARLOW。  Yes; my dear; a great favourite。  And yet hang me; I don't see what they find in me to follow。  At the Ladies' Club in town I'm called their agreeable Rattle。  Rattle; child; is not my real name; but one I'm known by。  My name is Solomons; Mr。 Solomons; my dear; at your service。  (Offering to salute her。)

MISS HARDCASTLE。  Hold; sir; you are introducing me to your club; not to yourself。  And you're so great a favourite there; you say?

MARLOW。  Yes; my dear。  There's Mrs。 Mantrap; Lady Betty Blackleg; the Countess of Sligo; Mrs。 Langhorns; old Miss Biddy Buckskin; and your humble servant; keep up the spirit of the place。

MISS HARDCASTLE。  Then it's a very merry place; I suppose?

MARLOW。  Yes; as merry as cards; supper; wine; and old women can make us。

MISS HARDCASTLE。  And their agreeable Rattle; ha! ha! ha!

MARLOW。  (Aside。)
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