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the story of an african farm-第47部分
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down;〃 she said。 〃But we are cursed。 Waldo; born cursed from the time our
mothers bring us into the world till the shrouds are put on us。 Do not
look at me as though I were talking nonsense。 Everything has two sides
the outside that is ridiculous; and the inside that is solemn。〃
〃I am not laughing;〃 said the boy; sedately enough; 〃but what curses you?〃
He thought she would not reply to him; she waited so long。
〃It is not what is done to us; but what is made of us;〃 she said at last;
〃that wrongs us。 No man can be really injured but by what modifies
himself。 We all enter the world little plastic beings; with so much
natural force; perhaps; but for the restblank; and the world tells us
what we are to be; and shapes us by the ends it sets before us。 To you it
says〃Work;〃 and to us it says〃Seem!〃 To you it saysAs you
approximate to man's highest ideal of God; as your arm is strong and your
knowledge great; and the power to labour is with you; so you shall gain all
that human heart desires。 To us it saysStrength shall not help you; nor
knowledge; nor labour。 You shall gain what men gain; but by other means。
And so the world makes men and women。
〃Look at this little chin of mine; Waldo; with the dimple in it。 It is but
a small part of my person; but though I had a knowledge of all things under
the sun; and the wisdom to use it; and the deep loving heart of an angel;
it would not stead me through life like this little chin。 I can win money
with it; I can win love; I can win power with it; I can win fame。 What
would knowledge help me? The less a woman has in her head the lighter she
is for climbing。 I once heard an old man say; that he never saw intellect
help a woman so much as a pretty ankle; and it was the truth。 They begin
to shape us to our cursed end;〃 she said; with her lips drawn in to look as
though they smiled; 〃when we are tiny things in shoes and socks。 We sit
with our little feet drawn up under us in the window; and look out at the
boys in their happy play。 We want to go。 Then a loving hand is laid on
us: 'Little one; you cannot go;' they say; 'your little face will burn;
and your nice white dress be spoiled。' We feel it must be for our good; it
is so lovingly said: but we cannot understand; and we kneel still with one
little cheek wistfully pressed against the pane。 Afterwards we go and
thread blue beads; and make a string for our neck; and we go and stand
before the glass。 We see the complexion we were not to spoil; and the
white frock; and we look into our own great eyes。 Then the curse begins to
act on us。 It finishes its work when we are grown women; who no more look
out wistfully at a more healthy life; we are contented。 We fit our sphere
as a Chinese woman's foot fits her shoe; exactly; as though God had made
bothand yet he knows nothing of either。 In some of us the shaping of our
end has been quite completed。 The parts we are not to use have been quite
atrophied; and have even dropped off; but in others; and we are not less to
be pitied; they have been weakened and left。 We wear the bandages; but our
limbs have not grown to them; we know that we are compressed; and chafe
against them。
〃But what does it help? A little bitterness; a little longing when we are
young; a little futile searching for work; a little passionate striving for
room for the exercise of our powers;and then we go with the drove。 A
woman must march with her regiment。 In the end she must be trodden down or
go with it; and if she is wise she goes。
〃I see in your great eyes what you are thinking;〃 she said; glancing at
him; 〃I always know what the person I am talking to is thinking of。 How is
this woman who makes such a fuss worse off than I? I will show you by a
very little example。 We stand here at this gate this morning; both poor;
both young; both friendless; there is not much to choose between us。 Let
us turn away just as we are; to make our way in life。 This evening you
will come to a farmer's house。 The farmer; albeit you come alone on foot;
will give you a pipe of tobacco and a cup of coffee and a bed。 If he has
no dam to build and no child to teach; tomorrow you can go on your way;
with a friendly greeting of the hand。 I; if I come to the same place
tonight; will have strange questions asked me; strange glances cast on me。
The Boer…wife will shake her head and give me food to eat with the Kaffers;
and a right to sleep with the dogs。 That would be the first step in our
progressa very little one; but every step to the end would repeat it。 We
were equals once when we lay new…born babes on our nurses' knees。 We will
be equals again when they tie up our jaws for the last sleep!〃
Waldo looked in wonder at the little quivering face; it was a glimpse into
a world of passion and feeling wholly new to him。
〃Mark you;〃 she said; 〃we have always this advantage over youwe can at
any time step into ease and competence; where you must labour patiently for
it。 A little weeping; a little wheedling; a little self…degradation; a
little careful use of our advantages; and then some man will say: 〃Come;
be my wife!〃 With good looks and youth marriage is easy to attain。 There
are men enough; but a woman who has sold herself; even for a ring and a new
name; need hold her skirt aside for no creature in the street。 They both
earn their bread in one way。 Marriage for love is the beautifulest
external symbol of the union of souls; marriage without it is the
uncleanliest traffic that defiles the world。〃 She ran her little finger
savagely along the topmost bar; shaking off the dozen little dewdrops that
still hung there。 〃And they tell us we have men's chivalrous attention!〃
she cried。 〃When we ask to be doctors; lawyers; law…makers; anything but
ill…paid drudges; they sayNo; but you have men's chivalrous attention;
now think of that and be satisfied! What would you do without it?〃
The bitter little silvery laugh; so seldom heard; rang out across the
bushes。 She bit her little teeth together。
〃I was coming up in Cobb & Co。's the other day。 At a little wayside hotel
we had to change the large coach for a small one。 We were ten passengers;
eight men and two women。 As I sat in the house the gentlemen came and
whispered to me; 'There is not room for all in the new coach; take your
seat quickly。' We hurried out; and they gave me the best seat; and covered
me with rugs; because it was drizzling。 Then the last passenger came
running up to the coachan old woman with a wonderful bonnet; and a black
shawl pinned with a yellow pin。
〃'There is no room;' they said; 'you must wait till next week's coach takes
you up;' but she climbed on to the step; and held on at the window with
both hands。
〃'My son…in…law is ill; and I must go and see him;' she said。
〃'My good woman;' said one; 'I am really exceedingly sorry that your son…
in…law is ill; but there is absolutely no room for you here。'
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