heartbreak house-第31部分

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is！

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　It　doesn't　concern　me。　I'm　nearly　out　of　it。

ELLIE。　And　I'm　only　just　beginning。

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　Yes；　so　look　ahead。

ELLIE。　Well；　I　think　I　am　being　very　prudent。

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　I　didn't　say　prudent。　I　said　look　ahead。

ELLIE。　What's　the　difference？

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　It's　prudent　to　gain　the　whole　world　and　lose
your　own　soul。　But　don't　forget　that　your　soul　sticks　to　you　if
you　stick　to　it；　but　the　world　has　a　way　of　slipping　through　your
fingers。

ELLIE　＇wearily；　leaving　him　and　beginning　to　wander　restlessly
about　the　room＇。　I'm　sorry；　Captain　Shotover；　but　it's　no　use
talking　like　that　to　me。　Old…fashioned　people　are　no　use　to　me。
Old…fashioned　people　think　you　can　have　a　soul　without　money。
They　think　the　less　money　you　have；　the　more　soul　you　have。　Young
people　nowadays　know　better。　A　soul　is　a　very　expensive　thing　to
keep：　much　more　so　than　a　motor　car。

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　Is　it？　How　much　does　your　soul　eat？

ELLIE。　Oh；　a　lot。　It　eats　music　and　pictures　and　books　and
mountains　and　lakes　and　beautiful　things　to　wear　and　nice　people
to　be　with。　In　this　country　you　can't　have　them　without　lots　of
money：　that　is　why　our　souls　are　so　horribly　starved。

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　Mangan's　soul　lives　on　pig's　food。

ELLIE。　Yes：　money　is　thrown　away　on　him。　I　suppose　his　soul　was
starved　when　he　was　young。　But　it　will　not　be　thrown　away　on　me。
It　is　just　because　I　want　to　save　my　soul　that　I　am　marrying　for
money。　All　the　women　who　are　not　fools　do。

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　There　are　other　ways　of　getting　money。　Why
don't　you　steal　it？

ELLIE。　Because　I　don't　want　to　go　to　prison。

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　Is　that　the　only　reason？　Are　you　quite　sure
honesty　has　nothing　to　do　with　it？

ELLIE。　Oh；　you　are　very　very　old…fashioned；　Captain。　Does　any
modern　girl　believe　that　the　legal　and　illegal　ways　of　getting
money　are　the　honest　and　dishonest　ways？　Mangan　robbed　my　father
and　my　father's　friends。　I　should　rob　all　the　money　back　from
Mangan　if　the　police　would　let　me。　As　they　won't；　I　must　get　it
back　by　marrying　him。

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　I　can't　argue：　I'm　too　old：　my　mind　is　made　up
and　finished。　All　I　can　tell　you　is　that；　old…fashioned　or
new…fashioned；　if　you　sell　yourself；　you　deal　your　soul　a　blow
that　all　the　books　and　pictures　and　concerts　and　scenery　in　the
world　won't　heal　＇he　gets　up　suddenly　and　makes　for　the　pantry＇。

ELLIE　＇running　after　him　and　seizing　him　by　the　sleeve＇。　Then　why
did　you　sell　yourself　to　the　devil　in　Zanzibar？

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER　＇stopping；　startled＇。　What？

ELLIE。　You　shall　not　run　away　before　you　answer。　I　have　found　out
that　trick　of　yours。　If　you　sold　yourself；　why　shouldn't　I？

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　I　had　to　deal　with　men　so　degraded　that　they
wouldn't　obey　me　unless　I　swore　at　them　and　kicked　them　and　beat
them　with　my　fists。　Foolish　people　took　young　thieves　off　the
streets；　flung　them　into　a　training　ship　where　they　were　taught
to　fear　the　cane　instead　of　fearing　God；　and　thought　they'd　made
men　and　sailors　of　them　by　private　subscription。　I　tricked　these
thieves　into　believing　I'd　sold　myself　to　the　devil。　It　saved　my
soul　from　the　kicking　and　swearing　that　was　damning　me　by　inches。

ELLIE　＇releasing　him＇。　I　shall　pretend　to　sell　myself　to　Boss
Mangan　to　save　my　soul　from　the　poverty　that　is　damning　me　by
inches。

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　Riches　will　damn　you　ten　times　deeper。　Riches
won't　save　even　your　body。

ELLIE。　Old…fashioned　again。　We　know　now　that　the　soul　is　the
body；　and　the　body　the　soul。　They　tell　us　they　are　different
because　they　want　to　persuade　us　that　we　can　keep　our　souls　if　we
let　them　make　slaves　of　our　bodies。　I　am　afraid　you　are　no　use　to
me；　Captain。

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　What　did　you　expect？　A　Savior；　eh？　Are　you
old…fashioned　enough　to　believe　in　that？

ELLIE。　No。　But　I　thought　you　were　very　wise；　and　might　help　me。
Now　I　have　found　you　out。　You　pretend　to　be　busy；　and　think　of
fine　things　to　say；　and　run　in　and　out　to　surprise　people　by
saying　them；　and　get　away　before　they　can　answer　you。

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　It　confuses　me　to　be　answered。　It　discourages
me。　I　cannot　bear　men　and　women。　I　have　to　run　away。　I　must　run
away　now　＇he　tries　to＇。

ELLIE　＇again　seizing　his　arm＇。　You　shall　not　run　away　from　me。　I
can　hypnotize　you。　You　are　the　only　person　in　the　house　I　can　say
what　I　like　to。　I　know　you　are　fond　of　me。　Sit　down。　＇She　draws
him　to　the　sofa＇。

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER　＇yielding＇。　Take　care：　I　am　in　my　dotage。　Old
men　are　dangerous：　it　doesn't　matter　to　them　what　is　going　to
happen　to　the　world。

They　sit　side　by　side　on　the　sofa。　She　leans　affectionately
against　him　with　her　head　on　his　shoulder　and　her　eyes　half
closed。

ELLIE　＇dreamily＇。　I　should　have　thought　nothing　else　mattered　to
old　men。　They　can't　be　very　interested　in　what　is　going　to　happen
to　themselves。

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　A　man's　interest　in　the　world　is　only　the
overflow　from　his　interest　in　himself。　When　you　are　a　child　your
vessel　is　not　yet　full；　so　you　care　for　nothing　but　your　own
affairs。　When　you　grow　up；　your　vessel　overflows；　and　you　are　a
politician；　a　philosopher；　or　an　explorer　and　adventurer。　In　old
age　the　vessel　dries　up：　there　is　no　overflow：　you　are　a　child
again。　I　can　give　you　the　memories　of　my　ancient　wisdom：　mere
scraps　and　leavings；　but　I　no　longer　really　care　for　anything　but
my　own　little　wants　and　hobbies。　I　sit　here　working　out　my　old
ideas　as　a　means　of　destroying　my　fellow…creatures。　I　see　my
daughters　and　their　men　living　foolish　lives　of　romance　and
sentiment　and　snobbery。　I　see　you；　the　younger　generation；
turning　from　their　romance　and　sentiment　and　snobbery　to　money
and　comfort　and　hard　common　sense。　I　was　ten　times　happier　on　the
bridge　in　the　typhoon；　or　frozen　into　Arctic　ice　for　months　in
darkness；　than　you　or　they　have　ever　been。　You　are　looking　for　a
rich　husband。　At　your　age　I　looked　for　hardship；　danger；　horror；
and　death；　that　I　might　feel　the　life　in　me　more　intensely。　I　did
not　let　the　fear　of　death　govern　my　life；　and　my　reward　was；　I
had　my　life。　You　are　going　to　let　the　fear　of　poverty　govern　your
life；　and　your　reward　will　be　that　you　will　eat；　but　you　will　not
live。

ELLIE　＇sitting　up　impatiently＇。　But　what　can　I　do？　I　am　not　a　sea
captain：　I　can't　stand　on　bridges　in　typhoons；　or　go　slaughtering
seals　and　whales　in　Greenland's　icy　mountains。　They　won't　let
women　be　captains。　Do　you　want　me　to　be　a　stewardess？

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　There　are　worse　lives。　The　stewardesses　could
come　ashore　if　they　liked；　but　they　sail　and　sail　and　sail。

ELLIE。　What　could　they　do　ashore　but　marry　for　money？　I　don't
want　to　be　a　stewardess：　I　am　too　bad　a　sailor。　Think　of
something　else　for　me。

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　I　can't　think　so　long　and　continuously。　I　am
too　old。　I　must　go　in　and　out。　＇He　tries　to　rise＇。

ELLIE　＇pulling　him　back＇。　You　shall　not。　You　are　happy　here；
aren't　you？

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　I　tell　you　it's　dangerous　to　keep　me。　I　can't
keep　awake　and　alert。

ELLIE。　What　do　you　run　away　for？　To　sleep？

CAPTAIN　SHOTOVER。　No。　To　get　a　glass　of　rum。

ELLIE　＇frightfully　disillusioned＇。　Is　that　it？　How　disgusting！　Do