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worst　part　of　the　occupation。



But　I　made　it　out　to　be　indubitable　that　the　owners　of　these　lead…

mills　honestly　and　sedulously　try　to　reduce　the　dangers　of　the

occupation　to　the　lowest　point。



A　washing…place　is　provided　for　the　women　（I　thought　there　might

have　been　more　towels）；　and　a　room　in　which　they　hang　their

clothes；　and　take　their　meals；　and　where　they　have　a　good　fire…

range　and　fire；　and　a　female　attendant　to　help　them；　and　to　watch

that　they　do　not　neglect　the　cleansing　of　their　hands　before

touching　their　food。　　An　experienced　medical　attendant　is　provided

for　them；　and　any　premonitory　symptoms　of　lead…poisoning　are

carefully　treated。　　Their　teapots　and　such　things　were　set　out　on

tables　ready　for　their　afternoon　meal；　when　I　saw　their　room；　and

it　had　a　homely　look。　　It　is　found　that　they　bear　the　work　much

better　than　men：　　some　few　of　them　have　been　at　it　for　years；　and

the　great　majority　of　those　I　observed　were　strong　and　active。　　On

the　other　hand；　it　should　be　remembered　that　most　of　them　are　very

capricious　and　irregular　in　their　attendance。



American　inventiveness　would　seem　to　indicate　that　before　very　long

white…lead　may　be　made　entirely　by　machinery。　　The　sooner；　the

better。　　In　the　meantime；　I　parted　from　my　two　frank　conductors

over　the　mills；　by　telling　them　that　they　had　nothing　there　to　be

concealed；　and　nothing　to　be　blamed　for。　　As　to　the　rest；　the

philosophy　of　the　matter　of　lead…poisoning　and　workpeople　seems　to

me　to　have　been　pretty　fairly　summed　up　by　the　Irishwoman　whom　I

quoted　in　my　former　paper：　　'Some　of　them　gets　lead…pisoned　soon；

and　some　of　them　gets　lead…pisoned　later；　and　some；　but　not　many；

niver；　and　'tis　all　according　to　the　constitooshun；　sur；　and　some

constitooshuns　is　strong　and　some　is　weak。'　　Retracing　my　footsteps

over　my　beat；　I　went　off　duty。







CHAPTER　XXXVI　…　A　FLY…LEAF　IN　A　LIFE







Once　upon　a　time　（no　matter　when）；　I　was　engaged　in　a　pursuit　（no

matter　what）；　which　could　be　transacted　by　myself　alone；　in　which　I

could　have　no　help；　which　imposed　a　constant　strain　on　the

attention；　memory；　observation；　and　physical　powers；　and　which

involved　an　almost　fabulous　amount　of　change　of　place　and　rapid

railway　travelling。　　I　had　followed　this　pursuit　through　an

exceptionally　trying　winter　in　an　always　trying　climate；　and　had

resumed　it　in　England　after　but　a　brief　repose。　　Thus　it　came　to　be

prolonged　until；　at　length　…　and；　as　it　seemed；　all　of　a　sudden　…

it　so　wore　me　out　that　I　could　not　rely；　with　my　usual　cheerful

confidence；　upon　myself　to　achieve　the　constantly　recurring　task；

and　began　to　feel　（for　the　first　time　in　my　life）　giddy；　jarred；

shaken；　faint；　uncertain　of　voice　and　sight　and　tread　and　touch；

and　dull　of　spirit。　　The　medical　advice　I　sought　within　a　few

hours；　was　given　in　two　words：　　'instant　rest。'　　Being　accustomed

to　observe　myself　as　curiously　as　if　I　were　another　man；　and

knowing　the　advice　to　meet　my　only　need；　I　instantly　halted　in　the

pursuit　of　which　I　speak；　and　rested。



My　intention　was；　to　interpose；　as　it　were；　a　fly…leaf　in　the　book

of　my　life；　in　which　nothing　should　be　written　from　without　for　a

brief　season　of　a　few　weeks。　　But　some　very　singular　experiences

recorded　themselves　on　this　same　fly…leaf；　and　I　am　going　to　relate

them　literally。　　I　repeat　the　word：　　literally。



My　first　odd　experience　was　of　the　remarkable　coincidence　between

my　case；　in　the　general　mind；　and　one　Mr。　Merdle's　as　I　find　it

recorded　in　a　work　of　fiction　called　LITTLE　DORRIT。　　To　be　sure；

Mr。　Merdle　was　a　swindler；　forger；　and　thief；　and　my　calling　had

been　of　a　less　harmful　（and　less　remunerative）　nature；　but　it　was

all　one　for　that。



Here　is　Mr。　Merdle's　case：



'At　first；　he　was　dead　of　all　the　diseases　that　ever　were　known；

and　of　several　bran…new　maladies　invented　with　the　speed　of　Light

to　meet　the　demand　of　the　occasion。　　He　had　concealed　a　dropsy　from

infancy；　he　had　inherited　a　large　estate　of　water　on　the　chest　from

his　grandfather；　he　had　had　an　operation　performed　upon　him　every

morning　of　his　life　for　eighteen　years；　he　had　been　subject　to　the

explosion　of　important　veins　in　his　body　after　the　manner　of

fireworks；　he　had　had　something　the　matter　with　his　lungs；　he　had

had　something　the　matter　with　his　heart；　he　had　had　something　the

matter　with　his　brain。　　Five　hundred　people　who　sat　down　to

breakfast　entirely　uninformed　on　the　whole　subject；　believed　before

they　had　done　breakfast；　that　they　privately　and　personally　knew

Physician　to　have　said　to　Mr。　Merdle；　〃You　must　expect　to　go　out；

some　day；　like　the　snuff　of　a　candle；〃　and　that　they　knew　Mr。

Merdle　to　have　said　to　Physician；　〃A　man　can　die　but　once。〃　　By

about　eleven　o'clock　in　the　forenoon；　something　the　matter　with　the

brain；　became　the　favourite　theory　against　the　field；　and　by　twelve

the　something　had　been　distinctly　ascertained　to　be　〃Pressure。〃



'Pressure　was　so　entirely　satisfactory　to　the　public　mind；　and

seemed　to　make　every　one　so　comfortable；　that　it　might　have　lasted

all　day　but　for　Bar's　having　taken　the　real　state　of　the　case　into

Court　at　half…past　nine。　　Pressure；　however；　so　far　from　being

overthrown　by　the　discovery；　became　a　greater　favourite　than　ever。

There　was　a　general　moralising　upon　Pressure；　in　every　street。　　All

the　people　who　had　tried　to　make　money　and　had　not　been　able　to　do

it；　said；　There　you　were！　　You　no　sooner　began　to　devote　yourself

to　the　pursuit　of　wealth；　than　you　got　Pressure。　　The　idle　people

improved　the　occasion　in　a　similar　manner。　　See；　said　they；　what

you　brought　yourself　to　by　work；　work；　work！　　You　persisted　in

working；　you　overdid　it；　Pressure　came　on；　and　you　were　done　for！

This　consideration　was　very　potent　in　many　quarters；　but　nowhere

more　so　than　among　the　young　clerks　and　partners　who　had　never　been

in　the　slightest　danger　of　overdoing　it。　　These；　one　and　all

declared；　quite　piously；　that　they　hoped　they　would　never　forget

the　warning　as　long　as　they　lived；　and　that　their　conduct　might　be

so　regulated　as　to　keep　off　Pressure；　and　preserve　them；　a　comfort

to　their　friends；　for　many　years。'



Just　my　case　…　if　I　had　only　known　it　…　when　I　was　quietly　basking

in　the　sunshine　in　my　Kentish　meadow！



But　while　I　so　rested；　thankfully　recovering　every　hour；　I　had

experiences　more　odd　than　this。　　I　had　experiences　of　spiritual

conceit；　for　which；　as　giving　me　a　new　warning　against　that　curse

of　mankind；　I　shall　always　feel　grateful　to　the　supposition　that　I

was　too　far　gone　to　protest　against　playing　sick　lion　to　any　stray

donkey　with　an　itching　hoof。　　All　sorts　of　people　seemed　to　become

vicariously　religious　at　my　expense。　　I　received　the　most

uncompromising　warning　that　I　was　a　Heathen：　　on　the　conclusive

authority　of　a　field　preacher；　who；　like　the　most　of　his　ignorant

and　vain　and　daring　class；　could　not　construct　a　tolerable　sentence

in　his　native　tongue　or　pen　a　fair　let