burlesques-第125部分

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〃That's　Mr。　Hicks；　the　Husher；　ma'am；〃　says　my　lord。　　〃We　keep　him；

for　he's　very　useful　to　throw　stones　at；　and　he　keeps　the　chaps'

coats　when　there's　a　fight；　or　a　game　at　cricket。Well；　Hicks；

how's　your　mother？　what's　the　row　now？〃　　〃I　believe；　my　lord；〃　said

the　usher；　very　meekly；　〃there　is　a　pugilistic　encounter　somewhere

on　the　premisesthe　Honorable　Mr。　Mac〃



〃Oh！　COME　along；〃　said　Lord　Lollypop；　〃come　along：　this　way；　ma'am！

Go　it；　ye　cripples！〃　　And　my　lord　pulled　my　dear　Jemmy's　gown　in

the　kindest　and　most　familiar　way；　she　trotting　on　after　him；

mightily　pleased　to　be　so　taken　notice　of；　and　I　after　her。　　A

little　boy　went　running　across　the　green。　　〃Who　is　it；　Petitoes？〃

screams　my　lord。　　〃Turk　and　the　barber；〃　pipes　Petitoes；　and　runs

to　the　pastry…cook's　like　mad。　　〃Turk　and　the　ba；〃　laughs　out　my

lord；　looking　at　us。　　〃HURRA！　THIS　way；　ma'am！〃　　And　turning　round

a　corner；　he　opened　a　door　into　a　court…yard；　where　a　number　of

boys　were　collected；　and　a　great　noise　of　shrill　voices　might　be

heard。　　〃Go　it；　Turk！〃　says　one。　　〃Go　it；　barber！〃　says　another。

〃PUNCH　HITH　LIFE　OUT！〃　roars　another；　whose　voice　was　just　cracked；

and　his　clothes　half　a　yard　too　short　for　him！



Fancy　our　horror　when；　on　the　crowd　making　way；　we　saw　Tug

pummelling　away　at　the　Honorable　Master　MacTurk！　　My　dear　Jemmy；

who　don't　understand　such　things；　pounced　upon　the　two　at　once；

and；　with　one　hand　tearing　away　Tug；　sent　him　spinning　back　into

the　arms　of　his　seconds；　while；　with　the　other；　she　clawed　hold　of

Master　MacTurk's　red　hair；　and；　as　soon　as　she　got　her　second　hand

free；　banged　it　about　his　face　and　ears　like　a　good　one。



〃You　nastywickedquarrelsomearistocratic〃　（each　word　was　a

bang）〃aristocraticoh！　oh！　oh！〃Here　the　words　stopped；　for　what

with　the　agitation；　maternal　solicitude；　and　a　dreadful　kick　on　the

shins　which；　I　am　ashamed　to　say；　Master　MacTurk　administered；　my

dear　Jemmy　could　bear　it　no　longer；　and　sunk　fainting　away　in　my

arms。





DOWN　AT　BEULAH。





Although　there　was　a　regular　cut　between　the　next…door　people　and

us；　yet　Tug　and　the　Honorable　Master　MacTurk　kept　up　their

acquaintance　over　the　back…garden　wall；　and　in　the　stables；　where

they　were　fighting；　making　friends；　and　playing　tricks　from　morning

to　night；　during　the　holidays。　　Indeed；　it　was　from　young　Mac　that

we　first　heard　of　Madame　de　Flicflac；　of　whom　my　Jemmy　robbed　Lady

Kilblazes；　as　I　before　have　related。　　When　our　friend　the　Baron

first　saw　Madame；　a　very　tender　greeting　passed　between　them；　for

they　had；　as　it　appeared；　been　old　friends　abroad。　　〃Sapristie；〃

said　the　Baron；　in　his　lingo；　〃que　fais…tu　ici；　Amenaide？〃　　〃Et

toi；　mon　pauvre　Chicot；〃　says　she；　〃est…ce　qu'on　t'a　mis　a　la

retraite？　　Il　parait　que　tu　n'es　plus　General　chez　Franco〃

CHUT！〃　says　the　Baron；　putting　his　finger　to　his　lips。



〃What　are　they　saying；　my　dear？〃　says　my　wife　to　Jemimarann；　who

had　a　pretty　knowledge　of　the　language　by　this　time。



〃I　don't　know　what　'Sapristie'　means；　mamma；　but　the　Baron　asked

Madame　what　she　was　doing　here？　and　Madame　said；　'And　you；　Chicot；

you　are　no　more　a　General　at　Franco。'Have　I　not　translated

rightly；　Madame？〃



〃Oui；　mon　chou；　mon　ange。　　Yase；　my　angel；　my　cabbage；　quite　right。

Figure　yourself；　I　have　known　my　dear　Chicot　dis　twenty　years。〃



〃Chicot　is　my　name　of　baptism；〃　says　the　Baron；　〃Baron　Chicot　de

Punter　is　my　name。〃



〃And　being　a　General　at　Franco；〃　says　Jemmy；　〃means；　I　suppose；

being　a　French　General？〃



〃Yes；　I　vas；〃　said　he；　〃General　Baron　de　Puntern'est　'a　pas；

Amenaide？〃



〃Oh；　yes！〃　said　Madame　Flicflac；　and　laughed；　and　I　and　Jemmy

laughed　out　of　politeness：　and　a　pretty　laughing　matter　it　was；　as

you　shall　hear。



About　this　time　my　Jemmy　became　one　of　the　Lady…Patronesses　of　that

admirable　institution；　〃The　Washerwoman's…Orphans'　Home；〃　Lady　de

Sudley　was　the　great　projector　of　it；　and　the　manager　and　chaplain；

the　excellent　and　Reverend　Sidney　Slopper。　　His　salary；　as

chaplain；　and　that　of　Doctor　Leitch；　the　physician　（both　cousins　of

her　ladyship's）；　drew　away　five　hundred　pounds　from　the　six

subscribed　to　the　Charity：　and　Lady　de　Sudley　thought　a　fete　at

Beulah　Spa；　with　the　aid　of　some　of　the　foreign　princes　who　were　in

town　last　year；　might　bring　a　little　more　money　into　its　treasury。

A　tender　appeal　was　accordingly　drawn　up；　and　published　in　all　the

papers：





〃APPEAL。



〃BRITISH　WASHERWOMAN'S…ORPHANS'　HOME。



〃The　'Washerwoman's…Orphans'　Home'　has　now　been　established　seven

years：　and　the　good　which　it　has　effected　is；　it　may　be　confidently

stated；　INCALCULABLE。　　Ninety…eight　orphan　children　of　Washerwomen

have　been　lodged　within　its　walls。　　One　hundred　and　two　British

Washerwomen　have　been　relieved　when　in　the　last　state　of　decay。

ONE　HUNDRED　AND　NINETY…EIGHT　THOUSAND　articles　of　male　and　female

dress　have　been　washed；　mended；　buttoned；　ironed；　and　mangled　in

the　Establishment。　　And；　by　an　arrangement　with　the　governors　of

the　Foundling；　it　is　hoped　that　THE　BABY…LINEN　OF　THAT　HOSPITAL

will　be　confided　to　the　British　Washerwoman's　Home！



〃With　such　prospects　before　it；　is　it　not　sad；　is　it　not　lamentable

to　think；　that　the　Patronesses　of　the　Society　have　been　compelled

to　reject　the　applications　of　no　less　than　THREE　THOUSAND　EIGHT

HUNDRED　AND　ONE　BRITISH　WASHERWOMEN；　from　lack　of　means　for　their

support？　　Ladies　of　England！　　Mothers　of　England！　to　you　we　appeal。

Is　there　one　of　you　that　will　not　respond　to　the　cry　in　behalf　of

these　deserving　members　of　our　sex？



〃It　has　been　determined　by　the　Ladies…Patronesses　to　give　a　fete　at

Beulah　Spa；　on　Thursday；　July　25；　which　will　be　graced　with　the

first　foreign　and　native　TALENT；　by　the　first　foreign　and　native

RANK；　and　where　they　beg　for　the　attendance　of　every　WASHERWOMAN'S

FRIEND。〃





Her　Highness　the　Princess　of　Schloppenzollernschwigmaringen；　the

Duke　of　Sacks…Tubbingen；　His　Excellency　Baron　Strumpff；　His

Excellency　Lootf…Allee…Koolee…Bismillah…Mohamed…Rusheed…Allah；　the

Persian　Ambassador；　Prince　Futtee…Jaw；　Envoy　from　the　King　of　Oude；

His　Excellency　Don　Alonzo　di　Cachachero…y…Fandango…y…Castanete；　the

Spanish　Ambassador；　Count　Ravioli；　from　Milan；　the　Envoy　of　the

Republic　of　Topinambo；　and　a　host　of　other　fashionables；　promised

to　honor　the　festival：　and　their　names　made　a　famous　show　in　the

bills。　　Besides　these；　we　had　the　celebrated　band　of　Moscow…musiks；

the　seventy…seven　Transylvanian　trumpeters；　and　the　famous　Bohemian

Minnesingers；　with　all　the　leading　artists　of　London；　Paris；　the

Continent；　and　the　rest　of　Europe。



I　leave　you　to　fancy　what　a　splendid　triumph　for　the　British

Washerwoman's　Home　was　to　come　off　on　that　day。　　A　beautiful　tent

was　erected；　in　which　the　Ladies…Patronesses　were　to　meet：　it　was

hung　round　with　specimens　of　the　skill　of　the　washerwomen's

orphans；　ninety…six　of　whom　were　to　be　feasted　in　the　gardens；

and　waited　on　by　the　Ladies…P