burlesques-第30部分

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careworn　mann！　and　yet　so　it　is。



〃Imprymus。　　I've　been　ableged　to　get　up　all　the　ecomplishments　at

double　quick；　&　to　apply　myself　with　treemenjuous　energy。



〃First；in　horder　to　give　myself　a　hideer　of　what　a　gentleman

reely　is；　I've　read　the　novvle　of　'Pelham'　six　times；　and　am　to　go

through　it　4　times　mor。



〃I　practis　ridin　and　the　acquirement　of　'a　steady　and　&　a　sure　seat

across　Country'　assijuously　4　times　a　week；　at　the　Hippydrum　Riding

Grounds。　　Many's　the　tumbil　I've　ad；　and　the　aking　boans　I've

suffered　from；　though　I　was　grinnin　in　the　Park　or　laffin　at　the

Opra。



〃Every　morning　from　6　till　9；　the　innabitance　of　Halbany　may　have

been　surprised　to　hear　the　sounds　of　music　ishuing　from　the

apartmince　of　Jeames　de　la　Pluche；　Exquire；　Letter　Hex。　　It's　my

dancing…master。　　From　six　to　nine　we　have　walces　and　polkiesat

nine；　'mangtiang　&　depotment；'　as　he　calls　it　&　the　manner　of

hentering　a　room；　complimenting　the　ost　and　ostess　&　compotting

yourself　at　table。　　At　nine　I　henter　from　my　dressing…room　（has　to

a　party）；　I　make　my　bowmy　master　（he's　a　Marquis　in　France；　and

ad　misfortins；　being　connected　with　young　Lewy　Nepoleum）　reseaves

meI　hadwancespeak　abowt　the　weather　&　the　toppix　of　the　day　in

an　elegant　&　cussory　manner。　　Brekfst　is　enounced　by　Fitzwarren；　my

mannwe　precede　to　the　festive　bordcomplimence　is　igschanged

with　the　manner　of　drinking　wind；　addressing　your　neighbor；

employing　your　napking　&　finger…glas；　&c。　　And　then　we　fall　to

brekfst；　when　I　prommiss　you　the　Marquis　don't　eat　like　a　commoner。

He　says　I'm　gettn　on　very　wellsoon　I　shall　be　able　to　inwite

people　to　brekfst；　like　Mr。　Mills；　my　rivle　in　Halbany；　Mr。

Macauly；　（who　wrote　that　sweet　book　of　ballets；　'The　Lays　of

Hancient　Rum；'）　&　the　great　Mr。　Rodgers　himself。





〃The　above　was　wrote　some　weeks　back。　　I　HAVE　given　brekfst　sins

then；　reglar　Deshunys。　　I　have　ad　Earls　and　YcountsBarnits　as

many　as　I　chose：　and　the　pick　of　the　Railway　world；　of　which　I　form

a　member。　　Last　Sunday　was　a　grand　Fate。　　I　had　the　Eleet　of　my

friends：　the　display　was　sumptious；　the　company　reshershy。

Everything　that　Dellixy　could　suggest　was　provided　by　Gunter。　　I

had　a　Countiss　on　my　right　&　（the　Countess　of　Wigglesbury；　that

loveliest　and　most　dashing　of　Staggs；　who　may　be　called　the　Railway

Queend；　as　my　friend　George　H　is　the　Railway　King；）　on　my　left

the　Lady　Blanche　Bluenose；　Prince　Towrowski；　the　great　Sir

Huddlestone　Fuddlestone　from　the　North；　and　a　skoar　of　the　fust　of

the　fashn。　　I　was　in　my　GLOARYthe　dear　Countess　and　Lady　Blanche

was　dying　with　lauffing　at　my　joax　and　funI　was　keeping　the　whole

table　in　a　roarwhen　there　came　a　ring　at　my　door…bell；　and　sudnly

Fitzwarren；　my　man；　henters　with　an　air　of　constanation。　　'Theres

somebody　at　the　door；'　says　he　in　a　visper。



〃'Oh；　it's　that　dear　Lady　Hemily；'　says　I；　'and　that　lazy　raskle　of

a　husband　of　hers。　　Trot　them　in；　Fitzwarren；'　（for　you　see　by　this

time　I　had　adopted　quite　the　manners　and　hease　of　the　arristoxy。）

And　so；　going　out；　with　a　look　of　wonder　he　returned　presently；

enouncing　Mr。　&　Mrs。　Blodder。



〃I　turned　gashly　pail。　　The　tablethe　gueststhe　Countiss

Towrouski；　and　the　rest；　weald　round　&　round　before　my　hagitated

I's。　　IT　WAS　MY　GRANDMOTHER　AND　Huncle　Bill。　　She　is　a　washerwoman

at　Healing　Common；　and　hehe　keeps　a　wegetable　donkey…cart。



〃Y；　Y　hadn't　John；　the　tiger；　igscluded　them？　　He　had　tried。　　But

the　unconscious；　though　worthy　creeters；　adwanced　in　spite　of　him；

Huncle　Bill　bringing　in　the　old　lady　grinning　on　his　harm！



〃Phansy　my　feelinx。〃





〃Immagin　when　these　unfortnat　members　of　my　famly　hentered　the

room：　you　may　phansy　the　ixtonnishment　of　the　nobil　company　presnt。

Old　Grann　looked　round　the　room　quite　estounded　by　its　horiental

splender；　and　huncle　Bill　（pulling　off　his　phantail；　&　seluting　the

company　as　respeckfly　as　his　wulgar　natur　would　alow）　says

'Crikey；　Jeames；　you've　got　a　better　birth　here　than　you　ad　where

you　were　in　the　plush　and　powder　line。'　　'Try　a　few　of　them　plovers

hegs；　sir；'　I　says；　whishing；　I'm　asheamed　to　say；　that　somethink

would　choke　huncle　B…；　'and　I　hope；　mam；　now　you've　ad　the

kindniss　to　wisit　me；　a　little　refreshment　won't　be　out　of　your

way。'



〃This　I　said；　detummind　to　put　a　good　fase　on　the　matter：　and

because　in　herly　times　I'd　reseaved　a　great　deal　of　kindniss　from

the　hold　lady；　which　I　should　be　a　roag　to　forgit。　　She　paid　for　my

schooling；　she　got　up　my　fine　linning　gratis；　shes　given　me　many　&

many　a　lb；　and　manys　the　time　in　appy　appy　days　when　me　and

Maryhann　has　taken　tea。　　But　never　mind　THAT。　　'Mam；'　says　I；　'you

must　be　tired　hafter　your　walk。'



〃'Walk？　　Nonsince；　Jeames；'　says　she；　'it's　Saturday；　&　I　came　in；

in　THE　CART。'　　'Black　or　green　tea；　maam？'　says　Fitzwarren；

intarupting　her。　　And　I　will　say　the　feller　showed　his　nouce　&　good

breeding　in　this　difficklt　momink；　for　he'd　halready　silenced

huncle　Bill；　whose　mouth　was　now　full　of　muffinx；　am；　Blowny

sausag；　Perrigole　pie；　and　other　dellixies。



〃'Wouldn't　you　like　a　little　SOMETHINK　in　your　tea；　Mam；'　says　that

sly　wagg　Cinqbars。　　'HE　knows　what　I　likes；'　replies　the　hawfle

hold　Lady；　pinting　to　me；　（which　I　knew　it　very　well；　having　often

seen　her　take　a　glass　of　hojous　gin　along　with　her　Bohee）；　and　so　I

was　ableeged　to　horder　Fitzwarren　to　bring　round　the　licures；　and

to　help　my　unfortnit　rellatif　to　a　bumper　of　Ollands。　　She　tost　it

hoff　to　the　elth　of　the　company；　giving　a　smack　with　her　lipps

after　she'd　emtied　the　glas；　which　very　nearly　caused　me　to　phaint

with　hagny。　　But；　luckaly　for　me；　she　didn't　igspose　herself　much

farther：　for　when　Cinqbars　was　pressing　her　to　take　another　glas；　I

cried　out；　'Don't；　my　lord；'　on　which　old　Grann　hearing　him

edressed　by　his　title；　cried　out；　'A　Lord！　o　law！'　and　got　up　and

made　him　a　cutsy；　and　coodnt　be　peswaded　to　speak　another　word。

The　presents　of　the　noble　gent　heavidently　made　her　uneezy。



〃The　Countiss　on　my　right　and　had　shownt　symtms　of　ixtream　disgust

at　the　beayvior　of　my　relations；　and　having　called　for　her　carridg；

got　up　to　leave　the　room；　with　the　most　dignified　hair。　　I；　of

coarse；　rose　to　conduct　her　to　her　weakle。　　Ah；　what　a　contrast　it

was！　　There　it　stood；　with　stars　and　garters　hall　hover　the

pannels；　the　footmin　in　peach…colored　tites；　the　hosses　worth　3

hundred　apiece；and　there　stood　the　horrid　LINNEN…CART；　with　'Mary

Blodder；　Laundress；　Ealing；　Middlesex；'　wrote　on　the　bord；　and

waiting　till　my　abandind　old　parint　should　come　out。



〃Cinqbars　insisted　upon　helping　her　in。　　Sir　Huddlestone　Fuddlestone；

the　great　Barnet　from　the　North；　who；　great　as　he　is；　is　as　stewpid

as　a　howl；　looked　on；　hardly　trusting　his　goggle　I's　as　they

witnessed　the　sean。　　But　little　lively　good　naterd　Lady　Kitty

Quickset；　who　was　going　away　with　the　Countiss；　held　her　little　&

out　of　the　carridge　to　me　and　said；　'Mr。　De　la　Pluche；　you　are　a

much　better　m