burlesques-第35部分

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tried　to　cumft　her：　I　pinted　out　the　diffrents　of　our　sitawashns；

igsplained　to　her　that　proppaty　has　its　jewties　as　well　as　its

previletches；　and　that　MY　juty　clearly　was　to　marry　into　a　noble

famly。　　I　kep　on　talking　to　her　（she　sobbing　and　going　hon　hall　the

time）　till　Lady　Hangelina　herself　came　up'The　real　Siming　Pewer；'

as　they　say　in　the　play。



〃There　they　stood　togetherthem　two　young　women。　　I　don't　know

which　is　the　ansamest。　　I　coodn　help　comparing　them；　and　I　coodnt

help　comparing　myself　to　a　certing　Hannimle　I've　read　of；　that

found　it　difficklt　to　make　a　choice　betwigst　2　Bundles　of　A。〃





〃That　ungrateful　beest　Fitzwarrenmy　oan　mana　feller　I've　maid　a

fortune　fora　feller　I　give　100　lb。　per　hannum　to！a　low　bred

Wallydyshamber！　　HE　must　be　thinking　of　falling　in　love　too！　and

treating　me　to　his　imperence。



〃He's　a　great　big　athlatic　fellersix　foot　i；　with　a　pair　of　black

whiskers　like　air…brusheswith　a　look　of　a　Colonel　in　the　harmya

dangerous　pawmpus…spoken　raskle　I　warrunt　you。　　I　was　coming　ome

from　shuiting　this　hafternoonand　passing　through　Lady　Hangelina's

flour…garding；　who　should　I　see　in　the　summerouse；　but　Mary　Hann

pretending　to　em　an　ankyshr　and　Mr。　Fitzwarren　paying　his　cort　to

her？



〃'You　may　as　well　have　me；　Mary　Hann；'　says　he。　　'I've　saved　money。

We'll　take　a　public…house　and　I'll　make　a　lady　of　you。　　I'm　not　a

purse…proud　ungrateful　fellow　like　Jeameswho's　such　a　snob　（'such

a　SNOB'　was　his　very　words！）　that　I'm　ashamed　to　wait　on　himwho's

the　laughing　stock　of　all　the　gentry　and　the　housekeeper's　room

tootry　a　MAN；'　says　he'don't　be　taking　on　about　such　a　humbug

as　Jeames。'



〃Here　young　Joe　the　keaper's　sun；　who　was　carrying　my　bagg；　bust

out　a　laffing　thereby　causing　Mr。　Fitwarren　to　turn　round　and

intarupt　this　polite　convasation。



〃I　was　in　such　a　rayge。　　'Quit　the　building；　Mary　Hann；'　says　I　to

the　young　womanand　you；　Mr。　Fitzwarren；　have　the　goodness　to

remain。'



〃'I　give　you　warning；'　roars　he；　looking　black；　blue；　yallerall

the　colors　of　the　ranebo。



〃'Take　off　your　coat；　you　imperent；　hungrateful　scoundrl；'　says　I。



〃'It's　not　your　livery；'　says　he。



〃'Peraps　you'll　understand　me；　when　I　take　off　my　own；'　says　I；

unbuttoning　the　motherapurls　of　the　MacWhirter　tartn。　　'Take　my

jackit；　Joe；'　says　I　to　the　boy；and　put　myself　in　a　hattitude

about　which　there　was　NO　MISTAYK。



　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。　　　　　　　　。



〃He's　2　stone　heavier　than　meand　knows　the　use　of　his　ands　as

well　as　most　men；　but　in　a　fite；　BLOOD'S　EVERYTHINK：　the　Snobb

can't　stand　before　the　gentleman；　and　I　should　have　killed　him；

I've　little　doubt；　but　they　came　and　stopt　the　fite　betwigst　us

before　we'd　had　more　than　2　rounds。



〃I　punisht　the　raskle　tremenjusly　in　that　time；　though；　and　I'm

writing　this　in　my　own　sittn…room；　not　being　able　to　come　down　to

dinner　on　account　of　a　black…eye　I've　got；　which　is　sweld　up　and

disfiggrs　me　dreadfl。〃





〃On　account　of　the　hoffle　black　i　which　I　reseaved　in　my　rangcounter

with　the　hinfimus　Fitzwarren；　I　kep　my　roomb　for　sevral　days；　with

the　rose…colored　curtings　of　the　apartmint　closed；　so　as　to　form　an

agreeable　twilike；　and　a　light…bloo　sattin　shayd　over　the　injard

pheacher。　　My　woons　was　thus　made　to　become　me　as　much　as　pawsable；

and　（has　the　Poick　well　observes　'Nun　but　the　Brayv　desuvs　the

Fare'）　I　cumsoled　myself　in　the　sasiaty　of　the　ladies　for　my　tempory

disfiggarment。



〃It　was　Mary　Hann　who　summind　the　House　and　put　an　end　to　my

phisticoughs　with　Fitzwarren。　　I　licked　him　and　bare　him　no　mallis：

but　of　corse　I　dismist　the　imperent　scoundrill　from　my　suvvis；

apinting　Adolphus；　my　page；　to　his　post　of　confidenshle　Valley。



〃Mary　Hann　and　her　young　and　lovely　Mrs。　kep　paying　me　continyoul

visits　during　my　retiremint。　　Lady　Hangelina　was　halways　sending　me

messidges　by　her：　while　my　exlent　friend；　Lady　Bareacres　（on　the

contry）　was　always　sending　me　toakns　of　affeckshn　by　Hangelina。

Now　it　was　a　coolin　hi…lotium；　inwented　by　herself；　that　her

Ladyship　would　perscribethen；　agin；　it　would　be　a　booky　of

flowers　（my　favrit　polly　hanthuses；　pellagoniums；　and　jyponikys）；

which　none　but　the　fair　&s　of　Hangelina　could　dispose　about　the

chamber　of　the　hinvyleed。　　Ho！　those　dear　mothers！　when　they　wish

to　find　a　chans　for　a　galliant　young　feller；　or　to　ixtablish　their

dear　gals　in　life；　what　awpertunities　they　WILL　give　a　man！　　You'd

have　phansied　I　was　so　hill　（on　account　of　my　black　hi）；　that　I

couldnt　live　exsep　upon　chicking　and　spoon…meat；　and　jellies；　and

blemonges；　and　that　I　coudnt　eat　the　latter　dellixies　（which　I

ebomminate　onternoo；　prefurring　a　cut　of　beaf　or　muttn　to　hall　the

kickpshaws　of　France）；　unless　Hangelina　brought　them。　　I　et　'em；

and　sacrafised　myself　for　her　dear　sayk。



〃I　may　stayt　here　that　in　privit　convasations　with　old　Lord　B。　and

his　son；　I　had　mayd　my　proposals　for　Hangelina；　and　was　axepted；

and　hoped　soon　to　be　made　the　appiest　gent　in　Hengland。



〃'You　must　break　the　matter　gently　to　her；'　said　her　hexlent

father。　　'You　have　my　warmest　wishes；　my　dear　Mr。　De　la　Pluche；　and

those　of　my　Lady　Bareacres；　but　I　am　notnot　quite　certain　about

Lady　Angelina's　feelings。　　Girls　are　wild　and　romantic。　　They　do

not　see　the　necessity　of　prudent　establishments；　and　I　have　never

yet　been　able　to　make　Angelina　understand　the　embarrassments　of　her

family。　　These　silly　creatures　prate　about　love　and　a　cottage；　and

despise　advantages　which　wiser　heads　than　theirs　know　how　to

estimate。'



〃'Do　you　mean　that　she　aint　fassanated　by　me？'　says　I；　bursting　out

at　this　outrayjus　ideer。



〃'She　WILL　be；　my　dear　sir。　　You　have　already　pleased　her；your

admirable　manners　must　succeed　in　captivating　her；　and　a　fond

father's　wishes　will　be　crowned　on　the　day　in　which　you　enter　our

family。'



〃'Recklect；　gents；'　says　I　to　the　2　lords；'a　barging's　a　barging

I'll　pay　hoff　Southdown's　Jews；　when　I'm　his　brother。　　As　a

STRAYNGER'（this　I　said　in　a　sarcastickle　toan）'I　wouldn't　take

such　a　LIBBATY。　　When　I'm　your　suninlor　I'll　treble　the　valyou　of

your　estayt。　　I'll　make　your　incumbrinces　as　right　as　a　trivit；　and

restor　the　ouse　of　Bareacres　to　its　herly　splender。　　But　a　pig　in　a

poak　is　not　the　way　of　transacting　bisniss　imployed　by　Jeames　De　la

Pluche；　Esquire。'



〃And　I　had　a　right　to　speak　in　this　way。　　I　was　one　of　the　greatest

scrip…holders　in　Hengland；　and　calclated　on　a　kilossle　fortune。

All　my　shares　was　rising　immence。　　Every　poast　brot　me　noose　that　I

was　sevral　thowsands　richer　than　the　day　befor。　　I　was　detummind

not　to　reerlize　till　the　proper　time；　and　then　to　buy　istates；　to

found　a　new　family　of　Delapluches；　and　to　alie　myself　with　the

aristoxy　of　my　country。



〃These　pints　I　reprasented　to　pore　Mary　Hann　hover　and　hover　agin。

'If　you'd　been　Lady　Hangelina；　my　dear　gal；'　says　I；　'I　would　have

married　you：　and　why　don't　I？　　Because　my　dooty　prewents　m