burlesques-第62部分

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hideous　than　the　othereach；　except　my　beloved　Belinda　Bulcher；

whose　raven　ringlets　never　having　been　in　curl；　could　of　course

never　go　OUT　of　curl；　whose　cheek；　pale　as　the　lily；　could；　as　it

may　naturally　be　supposed；　grow　no　paler；　whose　neck　and　beauteous

arms；　dazzling　as　alabaster；　needed　no　pearl…powder；　and　therefore；

as　I　need　not　state；　did　not　suffer　because　the　pearl…powder　had

come　off。　　Joy　（deft　link…boy！）　lit　his　lamps　in　each　of　her　eyes

as　I　entered。　　As　if　I　had　been　her　sun；　her　spring；　lo！　blushing

roses　mantled　in　her　cheek！　　Seventy…three　ladies；　as　I　entered；

opened　their　fire　upon　me；　and　stunned　me　with　cross…questions；

regarding　my　adventures　in　the　campSHE；　as　she　saw　me；　gave　a

faint　scream；　（the　sweetest；　sure；　that　ever　gurgled　through　the

throat　of　a　woman！）　then　started　upthen　made　as　if　she　would　sit

downthen　moved　backwardsthen　tottered　forwardsthen　tumbled

into　myPsha！　why　recall；　why　attempt　to　describe　that　delicious

that　passionate　greeting　of　two　young　hearts？　　What　was　the

surrounding　crowd　to　US？　　What　cared　we　for　the　sneers　of　the　men；

the　titters　of　the　jealous　women；　the　shrill　〃Upon　my　word！〃　of　the

elder　Miss　Bulcher；　and　the　loud　expostulations　of　Belinda's　mamma？

The　brave　girl　loved　me；　and　wept　in　my　arms。　　〃Goliah！　my　Goliah！〃

said　she；　〃my　brave；　my　beautiful；　THOU　art　returned；　and　hope

comes　back　with　thee。　　Oh！　who　can　tell　the　anguish　of　my　soul；

during　this　dreadful；　dreadful　night！〃　　Other　similar　ejaculations

of　love　and　joy　she　uttered；　and　if　I　HAD　perilled　life　in　her

service；　if　I　DID　believe　that　hope　of　escape　there　was　none；　so

exquisite　was　the　moment　of　our　meeting；　that　I　forgot　all　else　in

this　overwhelming　joy！



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＇The　Major's　description　of　this　meeting；　which　lasted　at　the　very

most　not　ten　seconds；　occupies　thirteen　pages　of　writing。　　We　have

been　compelled　to　dock　off　twelve　and　a　half；　for　the　whole

passage；　though　highly　creditable　to　his　feelings；　might　possibly

be　tedious　to　the　reader。＇



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As　I　said；　the　ladies　and　gentlemen　were　inclined　to　sneer；　and

were　giggling　audibly。　　I　led　the　dear　girl　to　a　chair；　and；

scowling　round　with　a　tremendous　fierceness；　which　those　who　know

me　know　I　can　sometimes　put　on；　I　shouted　out；　〃Hark　ye　men　and

womenI　am　this　lady's　truest　knighther　husband　I　hope　one　day

to　be。　　I　am　commander；　too；　in　this　fortthe　enemy　is　without　it；

another　word　of　mockeryanother　glance　of　scornand；　by　heaven；　I

will　hurl　every　man　and　woman　from　the　battlements；　a　prey　to　the

ruffianly　Holkar！〃　　This　quieted　them。　　I　am　a　man　of　my　word；　and

none　of　them　stirred　or　looked　disrespectfully　from　that　moment。



It　was　now　MY　turn　to　make　THEM　look　foolish。　　Mrs。　Vandegobbleschroy

（whose　unfailing　appetite　is　pretty　well　known　to　every　person　who

has　been　in　India）　cried；　〃Well；　Captain　Gahagan；　your　ball　has　been

so　pleasant；　and　the　supper　was　despatched　so　long　ago；　that　myself

and　the　ladies　would　be　very　glad　of　a　little　breakfast。〃　　And　Mrs。

Van　giggled　as　if　she　had　made　a　very　witty　and　reasonable　speech。

〃Oh！　breakfast；　breakfast　by　all　means；〃　said　the　rest；　〃we　really

are　dying　for　a　warm　cup　of　tea。〃



〃Is　it　bohay　tay　or　souchong　tay　that　you'd　like；　ladies？〃　says　I。



〃Nonsense；　you　silly　man；　any　tea　you　like；〃　said　fat　Mrs。　Van。



〃What　do　you　say；　then；　to　some　prime　GUNPOWDER？〃　　Of　course　they

said　it　was　the　very　thing。



〃And　do　you　like　hot　rowls　or　cowldmuffins　or　crumpetsfresh

butter　or　salt？　　And　you；　gentlemen；　what　do　you　say　to　some

ilegant　divvled…kidneys　for　yourselves；　and　just　a　trifle　of

grilled　turkeys；　and　a　couple　of　hundthred　new…laid　eggs　for　the

ladies？〃



〃Pooh；　pooh！　be　it　as　you　will；　my　dear　fellow；〃　answered　they　all。



〃But　stop；〃　says　I。　　〃O　ladies；　O　ladies：　O　gentlemen；　gentlemen；

that　you　should　ever　have　come　to　the　quarters　of　Goliah　Gahagan；

and　he　been　without〃



〃What？〃　said　they；　in　a　breath。



〃Alas　I　alas！　I　have　not　got　a　single　stick　of　chocolate　in　the

whole　house。〃



〃Well；　well；　we　can　do　without　it。〃



〃Or　a　single　pound　of　coffee。〃



〃Never　mind；　let　that　pass　too。〃　　（Mrs。　Van　and　the　rest　were

beginning　to　look　alarmed。）



〃And　about　the　kidneysnow　I　remember；　the　black　divvles　outside

the　fort　have　seized　upon　all　the　sheep；　and　how　are　we　to　have

kidneys　without　them？〃　　（Here　there　was　a　slight　ooo！）



〃And　with　regard　to　the　milk　and　crame；　it　may　be　remarked　that　the

cows　are　likewise　in　pawn；　and　not　a　single　drop　can　be　had　for

money　or　love：　but　we　can　beat　up　eggs；　you　know；　in　the　tay；　which

will　be　just　as　good。〃



〃Oh！　just　as　good。〃



〃Only　the　divvle's　in　the　luck；　there's　not　a　fresh　egg　to　be　had

no；　nor　a　fresh　chicken；〃　continued　I；　〃nor　a　stale　one　either；　nor

a　tayspoonful　of　souchong；　nor　a　thimbleful　of　bohay；　nor　the　laste

taste　in　life　of　butther；　salt　or　fresh；　nor　hot　rowls　or　cowld！〃



〃In　the　name　of　heaven！〃　said　Mrs。　Van；　growing　very　pale；　〃what　is

there；　then？〃



〃Ladies　and　gentlemen；　I'll　tell　you　what　there　is　now；〃　shouted　I。

〃There's





　　　　　〃Two　drumsticks　of　fowls；　and　a　bone　of　ham。

　　　　　　Fourteen　bottles　of　ginger…beer；〃　&c。　&c。　&c。





And　I　went　through　the　whole　list　of　eatables　as　before；　ending

with　the　ham…sandwiches　and　the　pot　of　jelly。



〃Law！　Mr。　Gahagan；〃　said　Mrs。　Colonel　Vandegobbleschroy；　〃give　me

the　ham…sandwichesI　must　manage　to　breakfast　off　them。〃



And　you　should　have　heard　the　pretty　to…do　there　was　at　this　modest

proposition！　　Of　course　I　did　not　accede　to　itwhy　should　I？　　I

was　the　commander　of　the　fort；　and　intended　to　keep　these　three

very　sandwiches　for　the　use　of　myself　and　my　dear　Belinda。

〃Ladies；〃　said　I；　〃there　are　in　this　fort　one　hundred　and　twenty…

six　souls；　and　this　is　all　the　food　which　is　to　last　us　during　the

siege。　　Meat　there　is　noneof　drink　there　is　a　tolerable　quantity；

and　at　one　o'clock　punctually；　a　glass　of　wine　and　one　olive　shall

be　served　out　to　each　woman：　the　men　will　receive　two　glasses；　and

an　olive　and　a　figand　this　must　be　your　food　during　the　siege。

Lord　Lake　cannot　be　absent　more　than　three　days；　and　if　he　bewhy；

still　there　is　a　chancewhy　do　I　say　a　chance？a　CERTAINTY　of

escaping　from　the　hands　of　these　ruffians。〃



〃Oh；　name　it；　name　it；　dear　Captain　Gahagan！〃　screeched　the　whole

covey　at　a　breath。



〃It　lies；〃　answered　I；　〃in　the　POWDER　MAGAZINE。　　I　will　blow　this

fort；　and　all　it　contains；　to　atoms；　ere　it　becomes　the　prey　of

Holkar。〃



The　women；　at　this；　raised　a　squeal　that　might　have　been　heard　in

Holkar's　camp；　and　fainted　in　different　directions；　but　my　dear

Belinda　whispered　in　my　ear；　〃Well　done；　thou　noble　knight！　bravely

said；　my　heart's　Goliah！〃　　I　felt　I　was　right：　I　could　have　blown

her　up　twenty　times　for　the　luxury　of　that　single　moment！　　〃And