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st. ives-第53部分

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and cast me for the hero … or the victim … which is very much the 

same。  The first duty of heroics is to be of your own choosing。  

When they are not that; they are nothing。  And I assure you; as I 

walked back to my own room; I was in no very complaisant humour: 

thought my uncle and Mr。 Romaine to have played knuckle…bones with 

my life and prospects; cursed them for it roundly; had no wish more 

urgent than to avoid the pair of them; and was quite knocked out of 

time; as they say in the ring; to find myself confronted with the 

lawyer。



He stood on my hearthrug; leaning on the chimney…piece; with a 

gloomy; thoughtful brow; as I was pleased to see; and not in the 

least as though he were vain of the late proceedings。



'Well?' said I。  'You have done it now!'



'Is he gone?' he asked。



'He is gone;' said I。  'We shall have the devil to pay with him 

when he comes back。'



'You are right;' said the lawyer; 'and very little to pay him with 

but flams and fabrications; like to…night's。'



'To…night's?' I repeated。



'Ay; to…night's!' said he。



'To…night's WHAT?' I cried。



'To…night's flams and fabrications。'



'God be good to me; sir;' said I; 'have I something more to admire 

in your conduct than ever I had suspected?  You cannot think how 

you interest me!  That it was severe; I knew; I had already 

chuckled over that。  But that it should be false also!  In what 

sense; dear sir?'



I believe I was extremely offensive as I put the question; but the 

lawyer paid no heed。



'False in all senses of the word;' he replied seriously。  'False in 

the sense that they were not true; and false in the sense that they 

were not real; false in the sense that I boasted; and in the sense 

that I lied。  How can I arrest him?  Your uncle burned the papers!  

I told you so … but doubtless you have forgotten … the day I first 

saw you in Edinburgh Castle。  It was an act of generosity; I have 

seen many of these acts; and always regretted … always regretted!  

〃That shall be his inheritance;〃 he said; as the papers burned; he 

did not mean that it should have proved so rich a one。  How rich; 

time will tell。'



'I beg your pardon a hundred thousand times; my dear sir; but it 

strikes me you have the impudence … in the circumstances; I may 

call it the indecency … to appear cast down?'



'It is true;' said he: 'I am。  I am cast down。  I am literally cast 

down。  I feel myself quite helpless against your cousin。'



'Now; really!' I asked。  'Is this serious?  And is it perhaps the 

reason why you have gorged the poor devil with every species of 

insult? and why you took such surprising pains to supply me with 

what I had so little need of … another enemy?  That you were 

helpless against them?  〃Here is my last missile;〃 say you; 〃my 

ammunition is quite exhausted: just wait till I get the last in … 

it will irritate; it cannot hurt him。  There … you see! … he is 

furious now; and I am quite helpless。  One more prod; another kick: 

now he is a mere lunatic!  Stand behind me; I am quite helpless!〃  

Mr。 Romaine; I am asking myself as to the background or motive of 

this singular jest; and whether the name of it should not be called 

treachery?'



'I can scarce wonder;' said he。  'In truth it has been a singular 

business; and we are very fortunate to be out of it so well。  Yet 

it was not treachery: no; no; Mr。 Anne; it was not treachery; and 

if you will do me the favour to listen to me for the inside of a 

minute; I shall demonstrate the same to you beyond cavil。'  He 

seemed to wake up to his ordinary briskness。  'You see the point?' 

he began。  'He had not yet read the newspaper; but who could tell 

when he might?  He might have had that damned journal in his 

pocket; and how should we know?  We were … I may say; we are … at 

the mercy of the merest twopenny accident。'



'Why; true;' said I: 'I had not thought of that。'



'I warrant you;' cried Romaine; 'you had supposed it was nothing to 

be the hero of an interesting notice in the journals!  You had 

supposed; as like as not; it was a form of secrecy!  But not so in 

the least。  A part of England is already buzzing with the name of 

Champdivers; a day or two more and the mail will have carried it 

everywhere: so wonderful a machine is this of ours for 

disseminating intelligence!  Think of it!  When my father was born 

… but that is another story。  To return: we had here the elements 

of such a combustion as I dread to think of … your cousin and the 

journal。  Let him but glance an eye upon that column of print; and 

where were we?  It is easy to ask; not so easy to answer; my young 

friend。  And let me tell you; this sheet is the Viscount's usual 

reading。  It is my conviction he had it in his pocket。'



'I beg your pardon; sir;' said I。  'I have been unjust。  I did not 

appreciate my danger。'



'I think you never do;' said he。



'But yet surely that public scene … ' I began。



'It was madness。  I quite agree with you;' Mr。 Romaine interrupted。  

'But it was your uncle's orders; Mr。 Anne; and what could I do?  

Tell him you were the murderer of Goguelat?  I think not。'



'No; sure!' said I。  'That would but have been to make the trouble 

thicker。  We were certainly in a very ill posture。'



'You do not yet appreciate how grave it was;' he replied。  'It was 

necessary for you that your cousin should go; and go at once。  You 

yourself had to leave to…night under cover of darkness; and how 

could you have done that with the Viscount in the next room?  He 

must go; then; he must leave without delay。  And that was the 

difficulty。'



'Pardon me; Mr。 Romaine; but could not my uncle have bidden him 

go?' I asked。



'Why; I see I must tell you that this is not so simple as it 

sounds;' he replied。  'You say this is your uncle's house; and so 

it is。  But to all effects and purposes it is your cousin's also。  

He has rooms here; has had them coming on for thirty years now; and 

they are filled with a prodigious accumulation of trash … stays; I 

dare say; and powder…puffs; and such effeminate idiocy … to which 

none could dispute his title; even suppose any one wanted to。  We 

had a perfect right to bid him go; and he had a perfect right to 

reply; 〃Yes; I will go; but not without my stays and cravats。  I 

must first get together the nine…hundred…and…ninety…nine chestsfull 

of insufferable rubbish; that I have spent the last thirty years 

collecting … and may very well spend the next thirty hours a…

packing of。〃  And what should we have said to that?'



'By way of repartee?' I asked。  'Two tall footmen and a pair of 

crabtree cudgels; I suggest。'



'The Lord deliver me from the wisdom of laymen!' cried Romaine。  

'Put myself in the wrong at the beginning of a lawsuit?  No; 

indeed!  There was but one thing to do; and I did it; and burned my 

last cartridge in the doing of it。  I stunned him。  And it gave
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