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酔楯荷恬: 梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ○ 賜 ★ 辛酔堀貧和鍬匈 梓囚徒貧議 Enter 囚辛指欺云慕朕村匈 梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ● 辛指欺云匈競何! 泌惚云慕短嗤堋響頼���誅卒亮茂�俊彭堋響��辛聞喘貧圭 "辺茄欺厘議箝誓匂" 孔嬬 才 "紗秘慕禰" 孔嬬��
prostrate on the ground�察�kissed the Abbot's sandals。 For they knew already
what the saint had accomplished in Alexandria。 The monks generally
received�察�by rapid and unknown means�察�information concerning the safety
or glory of the Church。 News spread through the desert with the rapidity of
the simoon。
When Paphnutius strode across the sand�察 �his disciples followed him�察�
praising the Lord。 Flavian�察�who was the oldest member of the brotherhood�察�
was suddenly seized with a pious frenzy and began to sing an inspired
hymn
;O blessed day� �Now is our father restored to us。 He has returned
laden with fresh merits�察�of which we reap the benefit。 For the virtues of
the father are the wealth of the children�察 �and the sanctity of the
Abbot illuminates every cell。 Paphnutius�察 �our father�察 �has given a new
spouse to Jesus Christ。 By his wondrous art�察 �he has changed a black
sheep into a white sheep。 And now�察�behold�察�he has returned to us�察�laden
with fresh merits。 Like unto the bee of the Arsinoetid�察�heavy with the
nectar of flowers。 Even as the ram of Nubia�察�which could hardly bear
the weight of its abundant wool。 Let us celebrate this day by
mingling oil with our food。;
When they came to the door of the Abbot's cell�察�they fell on their knees�察�
and said
;Let our father bless us�察 �and give each of us a measure of oil to
celebrate his return。;
Paul the Fool�察�who alone had remained standing�察�asked�察 �Who is this
man�拭─�and did not recognise Paphnutius。 But no one paid any attention to
what he said�察�as he was known to be devoid of intelligence�察�though filled
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with piety。
The Abbot of Antinoe�察�locked in his cell�察�thought
;I have at last regained the haven of my repose and happiness。 I have
returned to my fortress of contentment。 But how is it that this roof of
rushes�察�so dear to me�察�does not receive me as a friend�察�and the walls say
not to me�察�'Thou art welcome。' Nothing has changed�察�since my departure�察�
in this abode I have chosen。 There is my table and my bed。 There is the
mummy's head which has so often inspired me with salutary thoughts�察�and
there is the book in which I have so often sought conceptions of God。 And
yet nothing that I left is here。 The things appear grievously despoiled of
their customary charm�察�and it seems to me as though I saw them to´day for
the first time。 When I look at that table and couch�察�that in former days I
made with my own hands�察 �that black�察�dried head�察 �these rolls of papyrus
filled with the sayings of God�察�I seem to see the belongings of a dead man。
After having known them all so well�察�I know them no longer。 Alas� �since
nothing around me has really changed�察�it is I who am no longer what I was。
I am another。 I am the dead man� �What has happened�察�my God�拭�What has
been taken from me�拭�What is left unto me�拭�And who am I�拭─�
And it especially perplexed him to find�察 �in spite of himself�察 �that his
cell was small�察 �whereas�察 �when viewed by the eye of faith�察 �he ought to
consider it immense�察�because the infinitude of God began there。
He began to pray�察 �with his face against the ground�察 �and felt a little
happier。 He had hardly been an hour in prayer�察 �when a vision of Thais
passed before his eyes。 He returned thanks to God
;Jesus� �it is Thou who hast sent her。 I acknowledge in that Thy
wonderful goodness�察 �Thou wouldst please me�察 �reassure me and comfort
me by the sight of her whom I have given to Thee。 Thou�察�presentest her to
my eyes with her smile now disarmed�察�her grace�察�now become innocent�察�
her beauty from which I have extracted the sting。 To please me�察�my God�察�
thou showest her to me as I have prepared and purified her for Thy designs�察�
as one friend pleasantly reminds another of the rich gift he has received
from him。 Therefore I see this woman with delight�察�being assured that the
vision comes from Thee。 Thou dost not forget that I have given her to
Thee�察�Jesus。 Keep her�察�since she pleases Thee�察�and suffer not her beauty to
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give joy to any but Thyself。;
He could not sleep all night�察�and he saw Thais more distinctly than he
had seen her in the Grotto of Nymphs。 He commended himself�察�saying
;What I have done�察�I have done to the glory of God。;
Yet�察�to his great surprise�察�his heart was not at ease。 He sighed。
;Why art thou sad�察�O my soul�察�and why dost thou trouble me�拭─�
And his mind was still perturbed。 Thirty days he remained in that
condition of sadness which precedes the sore trials of a solitary monk。 The
image of Thais never left him day or night。 He did not try to banish it�察�
because he still thought it came from God�察�and was the image of a saint。
But one morning she visited him in a dream�察�her hair crowned with violets�察�
and her very gentleness seemed so formidable�察 �that he uttered a cry of
fright�察 �and woke in an icy sweat。 His eyes were still heavy with sleep�察�
when he felt a moist warm breath on his face。 A little jackal�察�its two paws
placed on the side of the bed�察�was panting its stinking breath in his face�察�
and grinning at him。
Paphnutius was greatly astonished�察�and it seemed to him as though a
tower had given way under his feet。 And�察 �in fact�察 �he had fallen�察 �for his
self´confidence had gone。 For some time he was incapable of thought and
when he did recover himself�察�his meditations only increased his perplexity。
;It is one of two things�察─�he said to himself�察 �either this vision�察�like the
preceding ones�察 �came from God�察 �and was a good vision�察 �and it is my
natural perversity which has misrepresented it�察 �as wine turns sour in a
dirty cup。 I have�察�by my unworthiness�察�changed instruction into reproach�察�
of which this diabolical jackal immediately took advantage。 Or else this
vision came�察�not from God�察�but�察�on the contrary�察�from the devil�察�and was
evil。 In that case I should doubt whether the former ones had�察�as I thought�察�
a celestial origin。 I am therefore incapable of that discernment which is
necessary for the ascetic。 In either case it is plain that God is no longer
with me��of which I feel the effects�察�though I
酔楯荷恬: 梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ○ 賜 ★ 辛酔堀貧和鍬匈 梓囚徒貧議 Enter 囚辛指欺云慕朕村匈 梓囚徒貧圭�鮗� ● 辛指欺云匈競何!
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