tg.stone of tears-第122部分

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　‘I　can’t。　It　。。。　won’t　let　me　get　close　enough。’
　
　With　a　little　grunt　she　pulled　the　girth　strap　tight。　‘You　have　a　bow。’
　
　‘What　difference　does　it　make？　Let’s　just　be　off。　All　by　itself；　it　will　probably　die　anyway。’
　
　She　bent；　checking　that　the　strap　wasn’t　pinching　her　horse。　‘Perhaps　you’re　right。　It　would　be　best　if　we　were　away　from　here。’
　
　‘Sister？　Why　haven’t　the　gars　bothered　us　before？’
　
　‘Because　I　shield　against　them　with　my　Han。　You　were　too　far　away；　beyond　my　shields；　and　so　they　came　for　you。’
　
　‘So　this　shield　will　keep　all　gars　away　from　us？’
　
　‘Yes。’
　
　Well；　at　least　there　was　one　thing　the　Han　was　good　for。
　
　‘Doesn’t　that　take　a　lot　of　power？　Gars　are　big　beasts。　Isn’t　it　hard？’
　
　The　question　brought　a　small　smile　to　her　lips。　‘Yes；　gars　are　big；　and　there　are　other　beasts　I　must　shield　against；　too。　All　this　would　take　much　power。　You　must　always　search　for　the　way　to　acplish　the　task　using　the　least　amount　of　Han。’
　
　She　stroked　her　horse’s　neck　as　she　went　on。　‘I　keep　the　gars　away　not　by　repelling　the　beasts　themselves；　but　by　shielding　against　their　blood　flies。　It’s　much　easier。　If　the　flies　can’t　get　through　the　shield；　the　gars　won’t　think　there　is　anything　worthwhile　and　so　won’t　e　to　us　either。　It　uses　little　of　my　strength　this　way；　yet　achieves　my　aim。’
　
　‘Why　didn’t　you　use　this　shield　against　the　people　here？　Against　the　woman　tonight？’
　
　‘Some　of　the　people　in　the　wilds　have　charms　against　our　power。　That’s　why　many　Sisters　die　trying　to　cross。　If　we　knew　how　these　charms　or　spells　worked；　we　might　be　able　to　counter　them；　but　we　don’t。　It’s　a　mystery　to　us。’
　
　Richard　finished　saddling　Geraldine　and　Bonnie　in　silence。　The　Sister　waited　patiently。　He　thought　she　had　more　to　say；　about　their　argument　before　he　had　gone　to　bury　the　woman；　but　she　remained　silent。　He　decided　to　speak　first；　and　get　it　over　with。
　
　‘Sister　Verna；　I’m　sorry　about　Sisters　Grace　and　Elizabeth。’　He　idly　stroked　Bonnie’s　shoulder　as　he　studied　the　ground。　‘I　said　a　prayer　over　their　graves。　I　just　wanted　you　to　know　that。　A　prayer　to　the　good　spirits　to　watch　over　them　and　treat　them　well。　I　didn’t　want　them　to　die。　You　may　think　otherwise；　but　I　don’t　want　anyone　to　die。　I’m　sick　of　death。　I　can’t　even　eat　meat　anymore　because　I　can’t　stand　the　thought　of　anything　having　to　die　just　to　feed　me。’
　
　‘Thank　you　for　the　prayer；　Richard；　but　you　must　learn　that　it　is　only　the　Creator　we　must　pray　to。　It　is　His　light　that　guides。　Praying　to　spirits　is　heathenish。’　She　seemed　to　think　better　of　her　harsh　tone；　and　softened　it。　‘But　you　are　unschooled；　and　would　not　know　that。　I　can’t　fault　you　for　doing　the　best　you　could。　I’m　sure　the　Creator　heard　your　prayer；　and　understood　its　benevolent　intent。’
　
　Richard　didn’t　like　her　narrow…minded　attitude。　He　thought　that　perhaps　he　knew　more　about　spirits　than　she　did。　He　didn’t　know　much　about　this　Creator　of　hers；　but　he　had　seen　spirits　before；　both　good　and　bad。　He　knew　you　ignored　them　at　your　own　peril。
　
　Her　dogmas　seemed　as　foolish　to　him　as　the　superstitions　of　the　country　people　he　knew　when　he　had　been　a　guide。　They　had　been　full　of　stories　of　how　people　came　to　be。　Each　remote　area　he　had　visited　had　its　own　version　of　man　created　from　this　or　that　animal　or　plant。　Richard　had　liked　listening　to　the　stories。　They　were　filled　with　wonder　and　magic。　But　they　were　just　stories；　rooted　in　a　need　to　understand　how　the　teller　fit　into　the　world。　He　was　not　going　to　accept　on　faith　the　things　the　Sisters　said。
　
　He　did　not　think　that　the　Creator　was　like　some　king；　sitting　upon　a　throne；　listening　to　every　petty　prayer　to　e　his　way。　Spirits　had　been　alive　once；　and　they　understood　the　needs　of　mortals；　understood　the　exigencies　of　living　flesh　and　blood。
　
　Zedd　had　taught　him　that　the　Creator　was　simply　another　name　for　the　force　of　balance　in　all　things；　and　not　some　wise　man　sitting　in　judgment。
　
　But　what　did　it　matter？　He　knew　people　held　tightly　to　their　doctrines　and　were　closed…minded　about　it。　Sister　Verna　believed　what　she　did　and　he　wasn’t　going　to　change　it。　He　had　never　faulted　people　for　the　beliefs　they　held；　he　was　not　about　to　start　now。　Such　beliefs；　true　or　not；　could　be　a　balm。
　
　He　pulled　the　baldric　off　over　his　head　and　held　the　sword　out　to　her。　‘I’ve　thought　about　the　things　you　said　before。　I’ve　decided　I　don’t　want　the　sword　anymore。’
　
　Her　hands　came　up　and　he　laid　the　weight　of　the　sword；　scabbard；　and　baldric　in　them。
　
　She　showed　no　emotion。　‘Do　you　really　mean　this？’
　
　He　nodded。　‘I　do。　I　am　finished　with　it。　The　sword　is　yours　now。’
　
　He　turned　to　check　his　saddle。　Even　without　the　sword　at　his　hip；　he　could　still　feel　the　tingle　of　its　magic。　He　could　give　up　the　sword；　but　the　magic　was　still　within　him；　he　was　the　true　Seeker；　and　could　not　be　rid　of　that。　At　least　he　could　be　rid　of　the　blade；　and　thereby　the　things　he　did　with　it。
　
　‘You　are　a　very　dangerous　man；　Richard；’　she　whispered。
　
　He　looked　back　over　his　shoulder。　That’s　why　I’m　giving　you　the　sword。　I　don’t　want　it　any　longer；　and　you　do；　so　it’s　yours。　We’ll　see　now　how　you　like　killing　with　it。’
　
　He　tucked　the　end　of　the　girth　strap　through　the　buckle　and　drew　it　tight。　He　gave　Bonnie　a　gentle　pat　before　turning　around。　Sister　Verna　was　still　holding　out　the　sword。
　
　‘Until　now　I　had　no　idea　just　how　dangerous　you　are。’
　
　‘Not　anymore。　You　have　the　sword　now。’
　
　‘I　cannot　accept　it；’　she　whispered。　‘It　was　my　duty　to　take　the　sword　from　you　when　you　came　back　…　to　test　you。　There　was　only　one　thing　you　could　have　done　to　prevent　losing　it。　And　you　have　done　it。’　She　lifted　the　sword　to　him。　‘There　is　no　man　more　dangerous　than　one　who　is　unpredictable。　There　is　no　way　to　forecast　what　you　will　do　when　pushed。　It　is　going　to　be　great　trouble。　For　you。　For　us。’
　
　Richard　didn’t　know　what　she　was　talking　about。　‘There’s　nothing　unpredictable　about　it。　You　wanted　the　sword；　and　I’m　weary　of　the　things　I　do　with　it；　so　I　gave　it　to　you。’
　
　‘You　understand；　because　it　is　the　way　you　think。　Others　don’t　think　that　way。　You’re　an　enigma。　Worse；　your　inexplicable　behavior　es　at　the　times　you　need　it　most。　That　is　the　gift　at　work。　You’re　using　your　Han　without　understanding　what　you　are　doing。　That　is　dangerous。’
　
　‘One　reason　for　the　collar　is　to　open　my　mind　to　the　gift。　That’s　what　you　said。　If　I’m　using　the　gift；　which　is　what　you　want　me　to　do；　and　if　it　is　what　I　need；　then　I　don’t　see　how　that　is　dangerous。’
　
　‘What　you　need　and　what’s　right　are　not　necessarily　the　same。　Just　because　you　want　something；　that　does　not　make　it　right。’　She　nodded　to　the　sword。　Take　it　back。　I　cannot　accept　it　now。　You　must　keep　it。’
　
　‘I　told　you；　I　don’t　want　it。’
　
　Then　throw　it　in　the　fire。　I　cannot　take　it。　It’s　tainted。’
　
　Richard　snatched　it　out　of　her　hands。　‘I’m　not　throwing　it　in　the　fire。’　He　put　his　head　through　the　baldric　and　straightened　the　scabbard　at　his　hip。　‘I　thi