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the essays of montaigne, v15-第9部分

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will find if they do but observe it; that they will not only be much more
esteemed for it; but also much more beloved。  A gallant man does not give
over his pursuit for being refused; provided it be a refusal of chastity;
and not of choice; we may swear; threaten; and complain to much purpose;
we therein do but lie; for we love them all the better: there is no
allurement like modesty; if it be not rude and crabbed。  'Tis stupidity
and meanness to be obstinate against hatred and disdain; but against a
virtuous and constant resolution; mixed with goodwill; 'tis the exercise
of a noble and generous soul。  They may acknowledge our service to a
certain degree; and give us civilly to understand that they disdain us
not; for the law that enjoins them to abominate us because we adore them;
and to hate us because we love them; is certainly very cruel; if but for
the difficulty of it。  Why should they not give ear to our offers and
requests; so long as they are kept within the bounds of modesty?
wherefore should we fancy them to have other thoughts within; and to be
worse than they seem?  A queen of our time said with spirit; 〃that to
refuse these courtesies is a testimony of weakness in women and a self…
accusation of facility; and that a lady could not boast of her chastity
who was never tempted。〃

The limits of honour are not cut so short; they may give themselves a
little rein; and relax a little without being faulty: there lies on the
frontier some space free; indifferent; and neuter。  He that has beaten
and pursued her into her fort is a strange fellow if he be not satisfied
with his fortune: the price of the conquest is considered by the
difficulty。  Would you know what impression your service and merit have
made in her heart?  Judge of it by her behaviour。  Such an one may grant
more; who does not grant so much。  The obligation of a benefit wholly
relates to the good will of those who confer it: the other coincident
circumstances are dumb; dead; and casual; it costs her dearer to grant
you that little; than it would do her companion to grant all。  If in
anything rarity give estimation; it ought especially in this: do not
consider how little it is that is given; but how few have it to give;
the value of money alters according to the coinage and stamp of the
place。  Whatever the spite and indiscretion of some may make them say in
the excess of their discontent; virtue and truth will in time recover all
the advantage。  I have known some whose reputation has for a great while
suffered under slander; who have afterwards been restored to the world's
universal approbation by their mere constancy without care or artifice;
every one repents; and gives himself the lie for what he has believed and
said; and from girls a little suspected they have been afterward advanced
to the first rank amongst the ladies of honour。  Somebody told Plato that
all the world spoke ill of him。  〃Let them talk;〃 said he; 〃I will live
so as to make them change their note。〃  Besides the fear of God; and the
value of so rare a glory; which ought to make them look to themselves;
the corruption of the age we live in compels them to it; and if I were
they; there is nothing I would not rather do than intrust my reputation
in so dangerous hands。  In my time the pleasure of telling (a pleasure
little inferior to that of doing) was not permitted but to those who had
some faithful and only friend; but now the ordinary discourse and common
table…talk is nothing but boasts of favours received and the secret
liberality of ladies。  In earnest; 'tis too abject; too much meanness of
spirit; in men to suffer such ungrateful; indiscreet; and giddy…headed
people so to persecute; forage; and rifle those tender and charming
favours。

This our immoderate and illegitimate exasperation against this vice
springs from the most vain and turbulent disease that afflicts human
minds; which is jealousy:

              〃Quis vetat apposito lumen de lumine sumi?
               Dent licet assidue; nil tamen inde perit;〃

     '〃Who says that one light should not be lighted from another light?
     Let them give ever so much; as much ever remains to lose。〃Ovid; De
     Arte Amandi; iii。 93。  The measure of the last line is not good;
     but the words are taken from the epigram in the Catalecta entitled
     Priapus。'

she; and envy; her sister; seem to me to be the most foolish of the whole
troop。  As to the last; I can say little about it; 'tis a passion that;
though said to be so mighty and powerful; had never to do with me。  As to
the other; I know it by sight; and that's all。  Beasts feel it; the
shepherd Cratis; having fallen in love with a she…goat; the he…goat; out
of jealousy; came; as he lay asleep; to butt the head of the female; and
crushed it。  We have raised this fever to a greater excess by the
examples of some barbarous nations; the best disciplined have been
touched with it; and 'tis reason; but not transported:

              〃Ense maritali nemo confossus adulter
               Purpureo Stygias sanguine tinxit aquas。〃

               '〃Never did adulterer slain by a husband
               stain with purple blood the Stygian waters。〃'

Lucullus; Caesar; Pompey; Antony; Cato; and other brave men were
cuckolds; and knew it; without making any bustle about it; there was in
those days but one coxcomb; Lepidus; that died for grief that his wife
had used him so。

              〃Ah! tum te miserum malique fati;
               Quem attractis pedibus; patente porta;
               Percurrent raphanique mugilesque:〃

     '〃Wretched man!  when; taken in the fact; thou wilt be
     dragged out of doors by the heels; and suffer the punishment
     of thy adultery。〃 Catullus; xv。 17。'

and the god of our poet; when he surprised one of his companions with his
wife; satisfied himself by putting them to shame only;

               〃Atque aliquis de dis non tristibus optat
               Sic fieri turpis:〃

          '〃And one of the merry gods wishes that he should himself
          like to be so disgraced。〃Ovid; Metam。; iv。 187。'

and nevertheless took anger at the lukewarm embraces she gave him;
complaining that upon that account she was grown jealous of his
affection:

               〃Quid causas petis ex alto? fiducia cessit
               Quo tibi; diva; mei?〃

     '〃Dost thou seek causes from above?  Why; goddess; has your
     confidence in me ceased?〃Virgil; AEneid; viii。 395。'

nay; she entreats arms for a bastard of hers;

                    〃Arena rogo genitrix nato。〃

          '〃I; a mother; ask armour for a son。〃Idem; ibid。; 383。'

which are freely granted; and Vulcan speaks honourably of AEneas;

                    〃Arma acri facienda viro;〃

     '〃Arms are to be made for a valiant hero。〃AEneid; viii。 441。'

with; in truth; a more than human humanity。  And I am willing to leave
this excess of kindness to the gods:

               〃Nec divis homines componier aequum est。〃

          '〃Nor is it fit to compare men with gods。〃
          Catullus; lxviii。 141。'

As to the confusion of children; besides that the gravest legislators
ordain and affect
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