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the story of an african farm-第60部分

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Lyndall was softly touching the little sore foot as she read; and Doss; to

show he liked it; licked her hand。



〃But; Miss Lyndall;〃 persisted Gregory; 〃what do you really think of him?〃



〃I think;〃 said Lyndall; 〃that he is like a thorn…tree; which grows up very

quietly; without any one's caring for it; and one day suddenly breaks out

into yellow blossoms。〃



〃And what do you think I am like?〃 asked Gregory; hopefully。



Lyndall looked up from her book。



〃Like a little tin duck floating on a dish of water; that comes after a

piece of bread stuck on a needle; and the more the needle pricks it the

more it comes on。〃



〃Oh; you are making fun of me now; you really are!〃 said Gregory feeling

wretched。  〃You are making fun; aren't you; now?〃



〃Partly。  It is always diverting to make comparisons。〃



〃Yes; but you don't compare me to anything nice; and you do other people。 

What is Em like; now?〃



〃The accompaniment of a song。  She fills up the gaps in other people's

lives; and is always number two; but I think she is like many

accompanimentsa great deal better than the song she is to accompany。〃



〃She is not half so good as you are!〃 said Gregory; with a burst of

uncontrollable ardour。



〃She is so much better than I; that her little finger has more goodness in

it than my whole body。  I hope you may not live to find out the truth of

that fact。〃



〃You are like an angel;〃 he said; the blood rushing to his head and face。



〃Yes; probably; angels are of many orders。〃



〃You are the one being that I love!〃 said Gregory quivering。  〃I thought I

loved before; but I know now!  Do not be angry with me。  I know you could

never like me; but; if I might but always be near you to serve you; I would

be utterly; utterly happy。  I would ask nothing in return!  If you could

only take everything I have and use it; I want nothing but to be of use to

you。〃



She looked at him for a few moments。



〃How do you know;〃 she said slowly; 〃that you could not do something to

serve me?  You could serve me by giving me your name。〃



He started; and turned his burning face to her。



〃You are very cruel; you are ridiculing me;〃 he said。



〃No; I am not; Gregory。  What I am saying is plain; matter…of…fact

business。  If you are willing to give me your name within three weeks'

time; I am willing to marry you; if not; well。  I want nothing more than

your name。  That is a clear proposal; is it not?〃



He looked up。  Was it contempt; loathing; pity; that moved in the eyes

above!  He could not tell; but he stooped over the little foot and kissed

it。



She smiled。



〃Do you really mean it?〃 he whispered。



〃Yes。  You wish to serve me; and to have nothing in return!you shall have

what you wish。〃  She held out her fingers for Doss to lick。  〃Do you see

this dog?  He licks my hand because I love him; and I allow him to。  Where

I do not love I do not allow it。  I believe you love me; I too could love

so; that to lie under the foot of the thing I loved would be more heaven

than to lie in the breast of another。  Come! let us go。  Carry the dog;〃

she added; 〃he will not bite you if I put him in your arms。  Sodo not let

his foot hang down。〃



They descended the kopje。  At the bottom; he whispered:



〃Would you not take my arm? the path is very rough。〃



She rested her fingers lightly on it。



〃I may yet change my mind about marrying you before the time comes。  It is

very likely。  Mark you!〃 she said; turning round on him; 〃I remember your

words:  You will give everything; and expect nothing。  The knowledge that

you are serving me is to be your reward; and you will have that。  You will

serve me; and greatly。  The reasons I have for marrying you I need not

inform you of now; you will probably discover some of them before long。〃



〃I only want to be of some use to you;〃 he said。



It seemed to Gregory that there were pulses in the soles of his feet; and

the ground shimmered as on a summer's day。  They walked round the foot of

the kopje and past the Kaffer huts。  An old Kaffer maid knelt at the door

of one grinding mealies。  That she should see him walking so made his heart

beat so fast; that the hand on his arm felt its pulsation。  It seemed that

she must envy him。



Just then Em looked out again at the back window and saw them coming。  She

cried bitterly all the while she sorted the skins。



But that night when Lyndall had blown her candle out; and half turned round

to sleep; the door of Em's bedroom opened。



〃I want to say good night to you; Lyndall;〃 she said; coming to the bedside

and kneeling down。



〃I thought you were asleep;〃 Lyndall replied。



〃Yes; I have been asleep; but I had such a vivid dream;〃 she said; holding

the other's hands; 〃and that woke me。  I never had so vivid a dream before。



〃It seemed I was a little girl again; and I came somewhere into a large

room。  On a bed in the corner there was something lying dressed in white;

and its little eyes were shut; and its little face was like wax。  I thought

it was a doll; and I ran forward to take it; but some one held up her

finger and said:  'Hush! it is a little dead baby。'  And I said:  'Oh; I

must go and call Lyndall; that she may look at it also。'



〃And they put their faces close down to my ear and whispered:  'It is

Lyndall's baby。'



〃And I said:  'She cannot be grown up yet; she is only a little girl! 

Where is she?'  And I went to look for you; but I could not find you。



〃And when I came to some people who were dressed in black; I asked them

where you were; and they looked down at their black clothes; and shook

their heads; and said nothing; and I could not find you anywhere。  And then

I awoke。



〃Lyndall;〃 she said; putting her face down upon the hands she held; 〃it

made me think about that time when we were little girls and used to play

together; when I loved you better than anything else in the world。  It

isn't any one's fault that they love you; they can't help it。  And it isn't

your fault; you don't make them love you。  I know it。〃



〃Thank you; dear;〃 Lyndall said。  〃It is nice to be loved; but it would be

better to be good。〃



Then they wished good night; and Em went back to her room。  Long after

Lyndall lay in the dark thinking; thinking; thinking; and as she turned

round wearily to sleep she muttered:



〃There are some wiser in their sleeping than in their waking。〃





Chapter 2。IX。  Lyndall's Stranger。



A fire is burning in the unused hearth of the cabin。  The fuel blazes up;

and lights the black rafters; and warms the faded red lions on the quilt;

and fills the little room with a glow of warmth and light made brighter by

contrast; for outside the night is chill and misty。



Before the open fireplace sits a stranger; his tall; slight figure reposing

in the broken armchair; his keen blue eyes studying the fire from beneath

delicately pencilled; drooping eyelids。  One white ha
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