the story of an african farm-第75部分

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foot；　Gregory　dropped　to　sleep　at　last。　　How　long　he　knelt　there　he　could

not　tell；　but　when　he　started　up　awake　she　was　not　looking　at　him。　　The

eyes　were　fixed　on　the　far　corner；　gazing　wide　and　intent；　with　an

unearthly　light。



He　looked　round　fearfully。　　What　did　she　see　there？　　God's　angels　come　to

call　her？　　Something　fearful？　　He　saw　only　the　purple　curtain　with　the

shadows　that　fell　from　it。　　Softly　he　whispered；　asking　what　she　saw　there。



And　she　said；　in　a　voice　strangely　unlike　her　own：　　〃I　see　the　vision　of　a

poor；　weak　soul　striving　after　good。　　It　was　not　cut　short；　and　in　the　end

it　learnt；　through　tears　and　much　pain；　that　holiness　is　an　infinite

compassion　for　others；　that　greatness　is　to　take　the　common　things　of　life

and　walk　truly　among　them；　that〃She　moved　her　white　hand　and　laid　it　on

her　forehead〃happiness　is　a　great　love　and　much　serving。　　It　was　not　cut

short；　and　it　loved　what　it　had　learntit　lovedand〃



Was　that　all　she　saw　in　the　corner？



Gregory　told　the　landlady　the　next　morning　that　she　had　been　wandering　all

night。　　Yet；　when　he　came　in　to　give　her　her　breakfast；　she　was　sitting　up

against　the　pillows；　looking　as　he　had　not　seen　her　look　before。



〃Put　it　close　to　me；〃　she　said；　〃and　when　I　have　had　breakfast　I　am　going

to　dress。〃



She　finished　all　he　had　brought　her　eagerly。



〃I　am　sitting　up　quite　by　myself；〃　she　said。　　〃Give　me　his　meat；〃　and　she

fed　the　dog　herself；　cutting　his　food　small　for　him。　　She　moved　to　the　side

of　the　bed。



〃Now　bring　the　chair　near　and　dress　me。　　It　is　being　in　this　room　so　long；

and　looking　at　that　miserable　little　bit　of　sunshine　that　comes　in　through

the　shutter；　that　is　making　me　so　ill。　　Always　that　lion's　paw！〃　she　said；

with　a　look　of　disgust　at　it。　　〃Come　and　dress　me。〃　　Gregory　knelt　on　the

floor　before　her；　and　tried　to　draw　on　one　stocking；　but　the　little　swollen

foot　refused　to　be　covered。



〃It　is　very　funny　that　I　should　have　grown　so　fat　since　I　have　been　so

ill；〃　she　said；　peering　down　curiously。　　〃Perhaps　it　is　want　of　exercise。〃　

She　looked　troubled　and　said　again；　〃Perhaps　it　is　want　of　exercise。〃　　She

wanted　Gregory　to　say　so　too。　　But　he　only　found　a　larger　pair；　and　then

tried　to　force　the　shoes；　oh；　so　tenderly；　on　to　her　little　feet。



〃There；〃　she　said；　looking　down　at　them　when　they　were　on；　with　the　delight

of　a　small　child　over　its　first　shoes；　〃I　could　walk　far　now。　　How　nice　it

looks！〃



〃No；〃　she　said；　seeing　the　soft　gown　he　had　prepared　for　her；　〃I　will　not

put　that　on。　　Get　one　of　my　white　dressesthe　one　with　the　pink　bows。　　I

do　not　even　want　to　think　I　have　been　ill。　　It　is　thinking　and　thinking　of

things　that　makes　them　real；〃　she　said。　　〃When　you　draw　your　mind　together；

and　resolve　that　a　thing　shall　not　be；　it　gives　way　before　you；　it　is　not。

Everything　is　possible　if　one　is　resolved；〃　she　said。　　She　drew　in　her

little　lips　together；　and　Gregory　obeyed　her；　she　was　so　small　and　slight

now　it　was　like　dressing　a　small　doll。　　He　would　have　lifted　her　down　from

the　bed　when　he　had　finished；　but　she　pushed　him　from　her；　laughing　very

softly。　　It　was　the　first　time　she　had　laughed　in　those　long；　dreary

months。



〃No；　no；　I　can　get　down　myself；〃　she　said；　slipping　cautiously　on　to　the

floor。　　〃You　see！〃　　She　cast　a　defiant　glance　of　triumph　when　she　stood

there。　　〃Hold　the　curtain　up　high；　I　want　to　look　at　myself。〃



He　raised　it；　and　stood　holding　it。　　She　looked　into　the　glass　on　the

opposite　wall。



Such　a　queenly　little　figure　in　its　pink　and　white。　　Such　a　transparent

little　face；　refined　by　suffering　into　an　almost　angel…like　beauty。　　The

face　looked　at　her；　she　looked　back；　laughing　softly。　　Doss；　quivering　with

excitement；　ran　round　her；　barking。　　She　took　one　step　toward　the　door；

balancing　herself　with　outstretched　hands。



〃I　am　nearly　there；〃　she　said。



Then　she　groped　blindly。



〃Oh；　I　cannot　see！　　I　cannot　see！　　Where　am　I？〃　she　cried。



When　Gregory　reached　her　she　had　fallen　with　her　face　against　the　sharp

foot　of　the　wardrobe　and　cut　her　forehead。　　Very　tenderly　he　raised　the

little　crushed　heap　of　muslin　and　ribbons；　and　laid　it　on　the　bed。　　Doss

climbed　up；　and　sat　looking　down　at　it。　　Very　softly　Gregory's　hands

disrobed　her。



〃You　will　be　stronger　tomorrow；　and　then　we　shall　try　again；〃　he　said；　but

she　neither　looked　at　him　nor　stirred。



When　he　had　undressed　her；　and　laid　her　in　bed；　Doss　stretched　himself

across　her　feet　and　lay　whining　softly。



So　she　lay　all　that　morning；　and　all　that　afternoon。



Again　and　again　Gregory　crept　close　to　the　bedside　and　looked　at　her；　but

she　did　not　speak　to　him。　　Was　it　stupor　or　was　it　sleep　that　shone　under

those　half…closed　eyelids。　　Gregory　could　not　tell。



At　last　in　the　evening　he　bent　over　her。



〃The　oxen　have　come；〃　he　said；　〃we　can　start　tomorrow　if　you　like。　　Shall　I

get　the　wagon　ready　tonight？〃



Twice　he　repeated　his　question。　　Then　she　looked　up　at　him；　and　Gregory　saw

that　all　hope　had　died　out　of　the　beautiful　eyes。　　It　was　not　stupor　that

shone　there；　it　was　despair。



〃Yes；　let　us　go；〃　she　said。



〃It　makes　no　difference；〃　said　the　doctor；　〃staying　or　going；　it　is　close

now。〃



So　the　next　day　Gregory　carried　her　out　in　his　arms　to　the　wagon　which

stood　inspanned　before　the　door。　　As　he　laid　her　down　on　the　kartel　she

looked　far　out　across　the　plain。　　For　the　first　time　she　spoke　that　day。



〃That　blue　mountain；　far　away；　let　us　stop　when　we　get　to　it；　not　before。〃　

She　closed　her　eyes　again。　　He　drew　the　sails　down　before　and　behind；　and

the　wagon　rolled　away　slowly。　　The　landlady　and　the　niggers　stood　to　watch

it　from　the　stoep。



Very　silently　the　great　wagon　rolled　along　the　grass…covered　plain。　　The

driver　on　the　front　box　did　not　clap　his　whip　or　call　to　his　oxen；　and

Gregory　sat　beside　him　with　folded　arms。　　Behind　them；　in　the　closed　wagon；

she　lay　with　the　dog　at　her　feet；　very　quiet；　with　folded　hands。　　He；

Gregory；　dared　not　be　in　there。　　Like　Hagar；　when　she　laid　her　treasure

down　in　the　wilderness；　he　sat　afar　off：〃For　Hagar　said；　Let　me　not　see

the　death　of　the　child。〃



Evening　came；　and　yet　the　blue　mountain　was　not　reached；　and　all　the　next

day　they　rode　on　slowly；　but　still　it　was　far　off。　　Only　at　evening　they

reached　it；　not　blue　now；　but　low　and　brown；　covered　with　long　waving

grasses　and　rough　stones。　　They　drew　the　wagon　up　close　to　its　foot　for　the

night。　　It　was　a　sheltered；　warm　spot。



When　the　dark　night　had　come；　when　the　tired　oxen　were　tied　to　the　wheels；

and　the　driver　and　leader　had　rolled　themselves　in　their　blankets　before

the　fire；　and　gone　to　sleep；　then　Gregory　fastened　down　the　sails　of　the

wagon　securely。　　He　fixed　a　long　candle　near　the　head　of　the　bed；　and　lay

down　himself　on　the　floor　of　the　wagon　near　the　back。　　He　leaned　his　head

against　the　kartel；　and　listened　to　the　chewing　of　the　tired　oxen；　and　to

the　crackling