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the story of an african farm-第78部分
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end to life。 Can we think of a beginning? Is it easier to say 'I was not'
than to say 'I shall not be'? And yet; where were we ninety years ago?
Dreams; dreams! Ah; all dreams and lies! No ground anywhere。〃
He went back into the cabin and walked there。 Hour after hour passed; and
he was dreaming。
For; mark you; men will dream; the most that can be asked of them is but
that the dream be not in too glaring discord with the thing they know。 He
walked with bent head。
All dies; all dies! the roses are red with the matter that once reddened
the cheek of the child; the flowers bloom the fairest on the last year's
battleground; the work of death's finger cunningly wreathed over is at the
heart of all things; even of the living。
Death's finger is everywhere。 The rocks are built up of a life that was。
Bodies; thoughts; and loves die: from where springs that whisper to the
tiny soul of man; 〃You shall not die〃? Ah; is there no truth of which this
dream is shadow?
He fell into perfect silence。 And; at last; as he walked there with his
bent head; his soul passed down the steps of contemplation into that vast
land where there is always peace; that land where the soul; gazing long;
loses all consciousness of its little self; and almost feels its hand on
the old mystery of Universal unity that surrounds it。
〃No death; no death;〃 he muttered; 〃there is that which never dieswhich
abides。 It is but the individual that perishes; the whole remains。 It is
the organism that vanishes; the atoms are there。 It is but the man that
dies; the Universal Whole of which he is part reworks him into its inmost
self。 Ah; what matter that man's day be short!that the sunrise sees him;
and the sunset sees his grave; that of which he is but the breath has
breathed him forth and drawn him back again。 That abideswe abide。〃
For the little soul that cries aloud for continued personal existence for
itself and its beloved; there is no help。 For the soul which knows itself
no more as a unit; but as a part of the Universal Unity of which the
Beloved also is a part; which feels within itself the throb of the
Universal Life; for that soul there is no death。
〃Let us die; beloved; you and I; that we may pass on forever through the
Universal Life! In that deep world of contemplation all fierce desires die
out; and peace comes down。 He; Waldo; as he walked there; saw no more the
world that was about him; cried out no more for the thing that he had lost。
His soul rested。 Was it only John; think you; who saw the heavens open?
The dreamers see it every day。
Long years before the father had walked in the little cabin; and seen
choirs of angels; and a prince like unto men; but clothed in immortality。
The son's knowledge was not as the father's; therefore the dream was new…
tinted; but the sweetness was all there; the infinite peace that men find
not in the little cankered kingdom of the tangible。 The bars of the real
are set close about us; we cannot open our wings but they are struck
against them; and drop bleeding。 But; when we glide between the bars into
the great unknown beyond; we may sail forever in the glorious blue; seeing
nothing but our own shadows。
So age succeeds age; and dream succeeds dream; and of the joy of the
dreamer no man knoweth but he who dreameth。
Our fathers had their dream; we have ours; the generation that follows will
have its own。 Without dreams and phantoms man cannot exist。
Chapter 2。XIV。 Waldo Goes Out to Sit in the Sunshine。
It had been a princely day。 The long morning had melted slowly into a rich
afternoon。 Rains had covered the karoo with a heavy coat of green that hid
the red earth everywhere。 In the very chinks of the stone walls dark green
leaves hung out; and beauty and growth had crept even into the beds of the
sandy furrows and lined them with weeds。 On the broken sod walls of the
old pigsty chick…weeds flourished; and ice…plants lifted heir transparent
leaves。 Waldo was at work in the wagon…house again。 He was making a
kitchen table for Em。 As the long curls gathered in heaps before his
plane; he paused for an instant now and again to throw one down to a small
naked nigger; who had crept from its mother; who stood churning in the
sunshine; and had crawled into the wagon…house。
From time to time the little animal lifted its fat hand as it expected a
fresh shower of curls; till Doss; jealous of his master's noticing any
other small creature but himself; would catch the curl in his mouth and
roll the little Kaffer over in the sawdust; much to that small animal's
contentment。 It was too lazy an afternoon to be really ill…natured; so
Doss satisfied himself with snapping at the little nigger's fingers; and
sitting on him till he laughed。 Waldo; as he worked; glanced down at them
now and then; and smiled; but he never looked out across the plain。 He was
conscious without looking of that broad green earth; it made his work
pleasant to him。 Near the shadow at the gable the mother of the little
nigger stood churning。 Slowly she raised and let fall the stick in her
hands; murmuring to herself a sleepy chant such as her people love; it
sounded like the humming of far…off bees。
A different life showed itself in the front of the house; where Tant
Sannie's cart stood ready inspanned and the Boer…woman herself sat in the
front room drinking coffee。
She had come to visit her stepdaughter; probably for the last time; as she
now weighed two hundred and sixty pounds; and was not easily able to move。
On a chair sat her mild young husband nursing the babya pudding…faced;
weak…eyed child。
〃You take it and get into the cart with it;〃 said Tant Sannie。 〃What do
you want here; listening to our woman's talk?〃
The young man arose; and meekly went out with the baby。
〃I'm very glad you are going to be married; my child;〃 said Tant Sannie; as
she drained the last drop from her coffee cup。 〃I wouldn't say so while
that boy was here; it would make him too conceited; but marriage is the
finest thing in the world。 I've been at it three times; and if it pleased
God to take this husband from me I should have another。 There's nothing
like it; my child; nothing。〃
〃Perhaps it might not suit all people; at all times; as well as it suits
you; Tant Sannie;〃 said Em。 There was a little shade of weariness in the
voice。
〃Not suit every one!〃 said Tant Sannie。 〃If the beloved Redeemer didn't
mean men to have wives what did He make women for? That's what I say。 If
a woman's old enough to marry; and doesn't; she's sinning against the Lord…
…it's a wanting to know better than Him。 What; does she think the Lord
took all that trouble in making her for nothing? It's evident He wants
babies; otherwise why does He send them? Not that I've done much in that
way myself;〃 said Tant Sannie; sorrowfully; 〃but I've done my best。〃
She rose with some difficult
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