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burlesques-第42部分

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palm…oil; or four healthy niggers; African currency)the shares of

this helegeble investment rose to 1; 2; 3; in the Markit。  A happy

man was Fred when; after paying down 100 ninepences (3L。 15s。); he

sold his shares for 250L。  He gave a dinner at the 'Star and

Garter' that very day。  I promise you there was no Marsally THERE。



〃Nex day they were up at 3 1/4。  This put Fred in a rage: they rose

to 5; he was in a fewry。  'What an ass I was to sell;' said he;

'when all this money was to be won!'



〃'And so you WERE an Ass;' said his partiklar friend; Colonel Claw;

K。X。R。; a director of the line; 'a double…eared Ass。  My dear

fellow; the shares will be at 15 next week。  Will you give me your

solemn word of honor not to breathe to mortal man what I am going

to tell you?'



〃'Honor bright;' says Fred。



〃'HUDSON HAS JOINED THE LINE。'  Fred didn't say a word more; but

went tumbling down to the City in his Broom。  You know the state of

the streets。  Claw WENT BY WATER。



〃'Buy me one thousand Hafricans for the 30th;' cries Fred; busting

into his broker's; and they were done for him at 4 7/8。



        。        。        。        。        。        。



〃Can't you guess the rest?  Haven't you seen the Share List? which

says:



     〃'Great Africans; paid 9d。; price 1/4 par。'



〃And that's what came of my pore dear friend Timmins's time…barging。



〃What'll become of him I can't say; for nobody has seen him since。

His lodgins in Jerming Street is to let。  His brokers in vain

deplores his absence。  His Uncle has declared his marriage with his

housekeeper; and the Morning Erald (that emusing print) has a

paragraf yesterday in the fashnabble news; headed 'Marriage in High

Life。The rich and beautiful Miss Mulligatawney; of Portland

Place; is to be speedily united to Colonel Claw; K。X。R。'



〃JEAMES。〃







JEAMES ON THE GAUGE QUESTION。





〃You will scarcely praps reckonize in this little skitch* the

haltered linimints of 1; with woos face the reders of your valluble

mislny were once fimiliar;the unfortnt Jeames de la Pluche; fomly

so selabrated in the fashnabble suckles; now the pore Jeames Plush;

landlord of the 'Wheel of Fortune' public house。  Yes; that is me;

that is my haypun which I wear as becomes a publicanthose is the

checkers which hornyment the pillows of my dor。  I am like the

Romin Genral; St。 Cenatus; equal to any emudgency of Fortun。  I;

who have drunk Shampang in my time; aint now abov droring a pint of

Small Bier。  As for my wifethat AngelI've not ventured to

depigt HER。  Fansy her a sittn in the Bar; smiling like a sunflower

and; ho; dear Punch! happy in nussing a deer little darlint

totsywotsy of a Jeames; with my air to a curl; and my i's to a T!





* This refers to an illustrated edition of the work。





〃I never thought I should have been injuiced to write anything but

a Bill agin; much less to edress you on Railway Subjixwhich with

all my sole I ABAW。  Railway letters; obbligations to pay hup;

ginteal inquirys as to my Salissator's name; &c。 &c。; I dispize and

scorn artily。  But as a man; an usbnd; a father; and a freebon

Brittn; my jewty compels me to come forwoods; and igspress my

opinion upon that NASHNAL NEWSANCEthe break of Gage。



〃An interesting ewent in a noble family with which I once very

nearly had the honor of being kinected; acurd a few weex sins; when

the Lady Angelina S; daughter of the Earl of Bcres;

presented the gallant Capting; her usband; with a Son & hair。

Nothink would satasfy her Ladyship but that her old and attacht

famdyshamber; my wife Mary Hann Plush; should be presnt upon this

hospicious occasion。  Captain S was not jellus of me on account

of my former attachment to his Lady。  I cunsented that my Mary Hann

should attend her; and me; my wife; and our dear babby acawdingly

set out for our noable frend's residence; Honeymoon Lodge; near

Cheltenham。



〃Sick of all Railroads myself; I wisht to poast it in a Chay and 4;

but Mary Hann; with the hobstenacy of her Sex; was bent upon

Railroad travelling; and I yealded; like all husbinds。  We set out

by the Great Westn; in an eavle Hour。



〃We didnt take much luggitchmy wife's things in the ushal

bandboxesmine in a potmancho。  Our dear little James Angelo's

(called so in complament to his noble Godmamma) craddle; and a

small supply of a few 100 weight of Topsanbawtems; Farinashious

food; and Lady's fingers; for that dear child; who is now 6 months

old; with a PERDIDGUS APPATITE。  Likewise we were charged with

a bran new Medsan chest for my lady; from Skivary & Morris;

containing enough Rewbub; Daffy's Alixir; Godfrey's cawdle; with

a few score of parsles for Lady Hangelina's family and owsehold:

about 2000 spessymins of Babby linning from Mrs。 Flummary's in

Regent Street; a Chayny Cresning bowl from old Lady Bareacres (big

enough to immus a Halderman); & a case marked 'Glass;' from her

ladyship's meddicle man; which were stowed away together; had to

this an ormylew Cradle; with rose…colored Satting & Pink lace

hangings; held up by a gold tuttle…dove; &c。  We had; ingluding

James Hangelo's rattle & my umbrellow; 73 packidges in all。



〃We got on very well as far as Swindon; where; in the Splendid

Refreshment room; there was a galaxy of lovely gals in cottn velvet

spencers; who serves out the soop; and 1 of whom maid an impresshn

upon this Art which I shoodn't like Mary Hann to knowand here; to

our infanit disgust; we changed carridges。  I forgot to say that we

were in the seeknd class; having with us James Hangelo; and 23

other light harticles。



〃Fust inconveniance: and almost as bad as break of gage。  I cast my

hi upon the gal in cottn velvet; and wanted some soop; of coarse;

but seasing up James Hangelo (who was layin his dear little pors on

an Am Sangwidg) and seeing my igspresshn of hi'James;' says Mary

Hann; 'instead of looking at that young ladyand not so VERY young

neitherbe pleased to look to our packidges; & place them in the

other carridge。'  I did so with an evy Art。  I eranged them 23

articles in the opsit carridg; only missing my umberella & baby's

rattle; and jest as I came back for my baysn of soop; the beast of

a bell rings; the whizzling injians proclayms the time of our

departure;& farewell soop and cottn velvet。  Mary Hann was sulky。

She said it was my losing the umberella。  If it had been a COTTON

VELVET UMBERELLA I could have understood。  James Hangelo sittn on

my knee was evidently unwell; without his coral: & for 20 miles

that blessid babby kep up a rawring; which caused all the

passingers to simpithize with him igseedingly。



〃We arrive at Gloster; and there fansy my disgust at bein ableeged

to undergo another change of carridges!  Fansy me holding up

moughs; tippits; cloaks; and baskits; and James Hangelo rawring

still like mad; and pretending to shuperintend the carrying over of

our luggage from the broad gage to the narrow gage。  'Mary Hann;'

sa
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