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burlesques-第43部分

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still like mad; and pretending to shuperintend the carrying over of

our luggage from the broad gage to the narrow gage。  'Mary Hann;'

says I; rot to desperation; 'I shall throttle this darling if he

goes on。'  'Do;' says she'and GO INTO THE REFRESHMENT room;' says

shea snatchin the babby out of my arms。  Do go;' says she; youre

not fit to look after luggage;' and she began lulling James Hangelo

to sleep with one hi; while she looked after the packets with the

other。  Now; Sir! if you please; mind that packet!pretty darling

easy with that box; Sir; its glasspooooty poppetwhere's the

deal case; marked arrowroot; No。 24?' she cried; reading out of a

list she had。And poor little James went to sleep。  The porters

were bundling and carting the various harticles with no more

ceremony than if each package had been of cannonball。



〃At lastbang goes a package marked 'Glass;' and containing the

Chayny bowl and Lady Bareacres' mixture; into a large white

bandbox; with a crash and a smash。  'It's My Lady's box from

Crinoline's!' cries Mary Hann; and she puts down the child on the

bench; and rushes forward to inspect the dammidge。  You could hear

the Chayny bowls clinking inside; and Lady B。's mixture (which had

the igsack smell of cherry brandy) was dribbling out over the

smashed bandbox containing a white child's cloak; trimmed with

Blown lace and lined with white satting。



〃As James was asleep; and I was by this time uncommon hungry; I

thought I WOULD go into the Refreshment Room and just take a little

soup; so I wrapped him up in his cloak and laid him by his mamma;

and went off。  There's not near such good attendance as at Swindon。



        。        。        。        。        。        。



〃We took our places in the carriage in the dark; both of us covered

with a pile of packages; and Mary Hann so sulky that she would not

speak for some minutes。  At last she spoke out



〃'Have you all the small parcels?'



〃'Twenty…three in all;' says I。



〃'Then give me baby。'



〃'Give you what?' says I。



〃'Give me baby。'



〃'What; haven't y…y…yoooo got him?' says I。



        。        。        。        。        。        。



〃O Mussy!  You should have heard her sreak!  WE'D LEFT HIM ON THE

LEDGE AT GLOSTER。



〃It all came of the break of gage。〃







MR。 JEAMES AGAIN。





〃DEAR MR。 PUNCH;As newmarus inquiries have been maid both at my

privit ressddence; 'The Wheel of Fortune Otel;' and at your Hoffis;

regarding the fate of that dear babby; James Hangelo; whose

primmiture dissappearnts caused such hagnies to his distracted

parents; I must begg; dear sir; the permission to ockupy a part of

your valuble collams once more; and hease the public mind about my

blessid boy。



〃Wictims of that nashnal cuss; the Broken Gage; me and Mrs。 Plush

was left in the train to Cheltenham; soughring from that most

disgreeble of complaints; a halmost BROKEN ART。  The skreems of

Mrs。 Jeames might be said almost to out…Y the squeel of the dying;

as we rusht into that fashnable Spaw; and my pore Mary Hann found

it was not Baby; but Bundles I had in my lapp。



〃When the Old Dowidger Lady Bareacres; who was waiting heagerly at

the train; herd that owing to that abawminable Brake of Gage the

luggitch; her Ladyship's Cherrybrandy box; the cradle for Lady

Hangelina's baby; the lace; crockary and chany; was rejuiced to one

immortial smash; the old cat howld at me and pore dear Mary Hann;

as if it was huss; and not the infunnle Brake of Gage; was to

blame; and as if we ad no misfortns of our hown to deplaw。  She

bust out about my stupid imparence; called Mary Hann a good for

nothink creecher; and wep; and abewsd; and took on about her broken

Chayny Bowl; a great deal mor than she did about a dear little

Christian child。  'Don't talk to me abowt your bratt of a babby'

(seshe); 'where's my bowl?where's my medsan?where's my

bewtiffle Pint lace?All in rewing through your stupiddaty; you

brute; you!'



〃'Bring your haction aginst the Great Western; Maam;' says I; quite

riled by this crewel and unfealing hold wixen。  'Ask the pawters at

Gloster; why your goods is spiledit's not the fust time they've

been asked the question。  Git the gage haltered aginst the nex time

you send for MEDSAN and meanwild buy some at the 〃Plow〃they keep

it very good and strong there; I'll be bound。  Has for us; WE'RE a

going back to the cussid station at Gloster; in such of our blessid

child。'



〃'You don't mean to say; young woman;' seshe; 'that you're not

going to Lady Hangelina: what's her dear boy to do? who's to nuss

it?'



〃'YOU nuss it; Maam;' says I。  'Me and Mary Hann return this momint

by the Fly。'  And so (whishing her a suckastic ajew) Mrs。 Jeames

and I lep into a one oss weakle; and told the driver to go like mad

back to Gloster。



〃I can't describe my pore gals hagny juring our ride。  She sat in

the carridge as silent as a milestone; and as madd as a march Air。

When we got to Gloster she sprang hout of it as wild as a Tigris;

and rusht to the station; up to the fatle Bench。



〃'My child; my child;' shreex she; in a hoss; hot voice。  'Where's

my infant? a little bewtifle child; with blue eyes;dear Mr。

Policeman; give it mea thousand guineas for it。'



〃'Faix; Mam;' says the man; a Hirishman; 'and the divvle a babby

have I seen this day except thirteen of my ownand you're welcome

to any one of THEM; and kindly。'



〃'As if HIS babby was equal to ours;' as my darling Mary Hann said;

afterwards。  All the station was scrouging round us by this time

pawters & clarx and refreshmint people and all。  'What's this year

row about that there babby?' at last says the Inspector; stepping

hup。  I thought my wife was going to jump into his harms。  'Have

you got him?' says she。



〃'Was it a child in a blue cloak?' says he。



〃'And blue eyse!' says my wife。



〃'I put a label on him and sent him on to Bristol; he's there by

this time。  The Guard of the Mail took him and put him into a

letter…box;' says he: 'he went 20 minutes ago。  We found him on the

broad gauge line; and sent him on by it; in course;' says he。  'And

it'll be a caution to you; young woman; for the future; to label

your children along with the rest of your luggage。'



〃If my piguniary means had been such as ONCE they was; you may

emadgine I'd have ad a speshle train and been hoff like smoak。  As

it was; we was obliged to wait 4 mortial hours for the next train

(4 ears they seemed to us); and then away we went。



〃'My boy! my little boy!' says poor choking Mary Hann; when we got

there。  'A parcel in a blue cloak?' says the man。  'No body claimed

him here; and so we sent him back by the mail。  An Irish nurse here

gave him some supper; and he's at Paddington by this time。  Yes;'

says he; looking at the clock; 'he's been there these ten minutes。'



〃But seeing my poor wife's distracted histarricle state; this good…

naterd man says; 'I think; my 
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