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burlesques-第43部分
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still like mad; and pretending to shuperintend the carrying over of
our luggage from the broad gage to the narrow gage。 'Mary Hann;'
says I; rot to desperation; 'I shall throttle this darling if he
goes on。' 'Do;' says she'and GO INTO THE REFRESHMENT room;' says
shea snatchin the babby out of my arms。 Do go;' says she; youre
not fit to look after luggage;' and she began lulling James Hangelo
to sleep with one hi; while she looked after the packets with the
other。 Now; Sir! if you please; mind that packet!pretty darling
easy with that box; Sir; its glasspooooty poppetwhere's the
deal case; marked arrowroot; No。 24?' she cried; reading out of a
list she had。And poor little James went to sleep。 The porters
were bundling and carting the various harticles with no more
ceremony than if each package had been of cannonball。
〃At lastbang goes a package marked 'Glass;' and containing the
Chayny bowl and Lady Bareacres' mixture; into a large white
bandbox; with a crash and a smash。 'It's My Lady's box from
Crinoline's!' cries Mary Hann; and she puts down the child on the
bench; and rushes forward to inspect the dammidge。 You could hear
the Chayny bowls clinking inside; and Lady B。's mixture (which had
the igsack smell of cherry brandy) was dribbling out over the
smashed bandbox containing a white child's cloak; trimmed with
Blown lace and lined with white satting。
〃As James was asleep; and I was by this time uncommon hungry; I
thought I WOULD go into the Refreshment Room and just take a little
soup; so I wrapped him up in his cloak and laid him by his mamma;
and went off。 There's not near such good attendance as at Swindon。
。 。 。 。 。 。
〃We took our places in the carriage in the dark; both of us covered
with a pile of packages; and Mary Hann so sulky that she would not
speak for some minutes。 At last she spoke out
〃'Have you all the small parcels?'
〃'Twenty…three in all;' says I。
〃'Then give me baby。'
〃'Give you what?' says I。
〃'Give me baby。'
〃'What; haven't y…y…yoooo got him?' says I。
。 。 。 。 。 。
〃O Mussy! You should have heard her sreak! WE'D LEFT HIM ON THE
LEDGE AT GLOSTER。
〃It all came of the break of gage。〃
MR。 JEAMES AGAIN。
〃DEAR MR。 PUNCH;As newmarus inquiries have been maid both at my
privit ressddence; 'The Wheel of Fortune Otel;' and at your Hoffis;
regarding the fate of that dear babby; James Hangelo; whose
primmiture dissappearnts caused such hagnies to his distracted
parents; I must begg; dear sir; the permission to ockupy a part of
your valuble collams once more; and hease the public mind about my
blessid boy。
〃Wictims of that nashnal cuss; the Broken Gage; me and Mrs。 Plush
was left in the train to Cheltenham; soughring from that most
disgreeble of complaints; a halmost BROKEN ART。 The skreems of
Mrs。 Jeames might be said almost to out…Y the squeel of the dying;
as we rusht into that fashnable Spaw; and my pore Mary Hann found
it was not Baby; but Bundles I had in my lapp。
〃When the Old Dowidger Lady Bareacres; who was waiting heagerly at
the train; herd that owing to that abawminable Brake of Gage the
luggitch; her Ladyship's Cherrybrandy box; the cradle for Lady
Hangelina's baby; the lace; crockary and chany; was rejuiced to one
immortial smash; the old cat howld at me and pore dear Mary Hann;
as if it was huss; and not the infunnle Brake of Gage; was to
blame; and as if we ad no misfortns of our hown to deplaw。 She
bust out about my stupid imparence; called Mary Hann a good for
nothink creecher; and wep; and abewsd; and took on about her broken
Chayny Bowl; a great deal mor than she did about a dear little
Christian child。 'Don't talk to me abowt your bratt of a babby'
(seshe); 'where's my bowl?where's my medsan?where's my
bewtiffle Pint lace?All in rewing through your stupiddaty; you
brute; you!'
〃'Bring your haction aginst the Great Western; Maam;' says I; quite
riled by this crewel and unfealing hold wixen。 'Ask the pawters at
Gloster; why your goods is spiledit's not the fust time they've
been asked the question。 Git the gage haltered aginst the nex time
you send for MEDSAN and meanwild buy some at the 〃Plow〃they keep
it very good and strong there; I'll be bound。 Has for us; WE'RE a
going back to the cussid station at Gloster; in such of our blessid
child。'
〃'You don't mean to say; young woman;' seshe; 'that you're not
going to Lady Hangelina: what's her dear boy to do? who's to nuss
it?'
〃'YOU nuss it; Maam;' says I。 'Me and Mary Hann return this momint
by the Fly。' And so (whishing her a suckastic ajew) Mrs。 Jeames
and I lep into a one oss weakle; and told the driver to go like mad
back to Gloster。
〃I can't describe my pore gals hagny juring our ride。 She sat in
the carridge as silent as a milestone; and as madd as a march Air。
When we got to Gloster she sprang hout of it as wild as a Tigris;
and rusht to the station; up to the fatle Bench。
〃'My child; my child;' shreex she; in a hoss; hot voice。 'Where's
my infant? a little bewtifle child; with blue eyes;dear Mr。
Policeman; give it mea thousand guineas for it。'
〃'Faix; Mam;' says the man; a Hirishman; 'and the divvle a babby
have I seen this day except thirteen of my ownand you're welcome
to any one of THEM; and kindly。'
〃'As if HIS babby was equal to ours;' as my darling Mary Hann said;
afterwards。 All the station was scrouging round us by this time
pawters & clarx and refreshmint people and all。 'What's this year
row about that there babby?' at last says the Inspector; stepping
hup。 I thought my wife was going to jump into his harms。 'Have
you got him?' says she。
〃'Was it a child in a blue cloak?' says he。
〃'And blue eyse!' says my wife。
〃'I put a label on him and sent him on to Bristol; he's there by
this time。 The Guard of the Mail took him and put him into a
letter…box;' says he: 'he went 20 minutes ago。 We found him on the
broad gauge line; and sent him on by it; in course;' says he。 'And
it'll be a caution to you; young woman; for the future; to label
your children along with the rest of your luggage。'
〃If my piguniary means had been such as ONCE they was; you may
emadgine I'd have ad a speshle train and been hoff like smoak。 As
it was; we was obliged to wait 4 mortial hours for the next train
(4 ears they seemed to us); and then away we went。
〃'My boy! my little boy!' says poor choking Mary Hann; when we got
there。 'A parcel in a blue cloak?' says the man。 'No body claimed
him here; and so we sent him back by the mail。 An Irish nurse here
gave him some supper; and he's at Paddington by this time。 Yes;'
says he; looking at the clock; 'he's been there these ten minutes。'
〃But seeing my poor wife's distracted histarricle state; this good…
naterd man says; 'I think; my
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