the story of an african farm-第62部分

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love　is　a　child's　love　for　butterflies。　　You　follow　till　you　have　the

thing；　and　break　it。　　If　you　have　broken　one　wing；　and　the　thing　flies

still；　then　you　love　it　more　than　ever；　and　follow　till　you　break　both；

then　you　are　satisfied　when　it　lies　still　on　the　ground。〃



〃You　are　profoundly　wise　in　the　ways　of　the　world；　you　have　seen　far　into

life；〃　he　said。



He　might　as　well　have　sneered　at　the　firelight。



〃I　have　seen　enough　to　tell　me　that　you　love　me　because　you　cannot　bear　to

be　resisted；　and　want　to　master　me。　　You　liked　me　at　first　because　I

treated　you　and　all　men　with　indifference。　　You　resolved　to　have　me　because

I　seemed　unattainable。　　This　is　all　your　love　means。〃



He　felt　a　strong　inclination　to　stoop　down　and　kiss　the　little　lips　that

defied　him；　but　he　restrained　himself。　　He　said；　quietly：　　〃And　you　loved

me〃



〃Because　you　are　strong。　　You　are　the　first　man　I　ever　was　afraid　of。　

And〃a　dreamy　look　came　into　her　face〃because　I　like　to　experience；　I

like　to　try。　　You　don't　understand　that。〃



He　smiled。



〃Well；　since　you　will　not　marry　me；　may　I　inquire　what　your　intentions　are；

the　plan　you　wrote　of。　　You　asked　me　to　come　and　hear　it；　and　I　have　come。〃



〃I　said；　'Come　if　you　wish。'　　If　you　agree　to　it；　well；　if　not；　I　marry　on

Monday。〃



〃Well？〃



She　was　still　looking　beyond　him　at　the　fire。



〃I　cannot　marry　you；〃　she　said　slowly；　〃because　I　cannot　be　tied；　but　if

you　wish；　you　may　take　me　away　with　you；　and　take　care　of　me；　then　when　we

do　not　love　any　more　we　can　say　good…bye。　　I　will　not　go　down　country；〃　she

added；　〃I　will　not　go　to　Europe。　　You　must　take　me　to　the　Transvaal。　　That

is　out　of　the　world。　　People　we　meet　there　we　need　not　see　again　in　our

future　lives。〃



〃Oh；　my　darling；〃　he　said；　bending　tenderly；　and　holding　his　hand　out　to

her；　〃why　will　you　not　give　yourself　entirely　to　me？　　One　day　you　will

desert　me　and　go　to　another。〃



She　shook　her　head　without　looking　at　him。



〃No；　life　is　too　long。　　But　I　will　go　with　you。〃



〃When？〃



〃Tomorrow。　　I　have　told　them　that　before　daylight　I　go　to　the　next　farm。　　I

will　write　from　the　town　and　tell　them　the　facts。　　I　do　not　want　them　to

trouble　me；　I　want　to　shake　myself　free　of　these　old　surroundings；　I　want

them　to　lose　sight　of　me。　　You　can　understand　that　is　necessary　for　me。〃



He　seemed　lost　in　consideration；　then　he　said：



〃It　is　better　to　have　you　on　those　conditions　than　not　at　all。　　If　you　will

have　it；　let　it　be　so。〃



He　sat　looking　at　her。　　On　her　face　was　the　weary　look　that　rested　there　so

often　now　when　she　sat　alone。　　Two　months　had　not　passed　since　they　parted；

but　the　time　had　set　its　mark　on　her。　　He　looked　at　her　carefully；　from　the

brown；　smooth　head　to　the　little　crossed　feet　on　the　floor。　　A　worn　look

had　grown　over　the　little　face；　and　it　made　its　charm　for　him　stronger。　

For　pain　and　time；　which　trace　deep　lines　and　write　a　story　on　a　human

face；　have　a　strangely　different　effect　on　one　face　and　another。　　The　face

that　is　only　fair；　even　very　fair；　they　mar　and　flaw；　but　to　the　face　whose

beauty　is　the　harmony　between　that　which　speaks　from　within　and　the　form

through　which　it　speaks；　power　is　added　by　all　that　causes　the　outer　man　to

bear　more　deeply　the　impress　of　the　inner。　　The　pretty　woman　fades　with　the

roses　on　her　cheeks；　and　the　girlhood　that　lasts　an　hour；　the　beautiful

woman　finds　her　fullness　of　bloom　only　when　a　past　has　written　itself　on

her；　and　her　power　is　then　most　irresistible　when　it　seems　going。



From　under　their　half…closed　lids　the　keen　eyes　looked　down　at　her。　　Her

shoulders　were　bent；　for　a　moment　the　little　figure　had　forgotten　its

queenly　bearing；　and　drooped　wearily；　the　wide；　dark　eyes　watched　the　fire

very　softly。



It　certainly　was　not　in　her　power　to　resist　him；　nor　any　strength　in　her

that　made　his　own　at　that　moment　grow　soft　as　he　looked　at　her。



He　touched　one　little　hand　that　rested　on　her　knee。



〃Poor　little　thing！〃　he　said；　〃you　are　only　a　child。〃



She　did　not　draw　her　hand　away　from　his；　and　looked　up　at　him。



〃You　are　very　tired？〃



〃Yes。〃



She　looked　into　his　eyes　as　a　little　child　might　whom　a　long　day's　play　had

saddened。



He　lifted　her　gently　up；　and　sat　her　on　his　knee。



〃Poor　little　thing！〃　he　said。



She　turned　her　face　to　his　shoulder；　and　buried　it　against　his　neck；　he

wound　his　strong　arm　about　her；　and　held　her　close　to　him。　　When　she　had

sat　for　a　long　while；　he　drew　with　his　hand　the　face　down；　and　held　it

against　his　arm。　　He　kissed　it；　and　then　put　it　back　in　its　old　resting…

place。



〃Don't　you　want　to　talk　to　me？〃



〃No。〃



〃Have　you　forgotten　the　night　in　the　avenue？〃



He　could　feel　that　she　shook　her　head。



〃Do　you　want　to　be　quiet　now？〃



〃Yes。〃



They　sat　quite　still；　excepting　that　only　sometimes　he　raised　her　fingers

softly　to　his　mouth。



Doss；　who　had　been　asleep　in　the　corner；　waking　suddenly；　planted　himself

before　them；　his　wiry　legs　moving　nervously；　his　yellow　eyes　filled　with

anxiety。　　He　was　not　at　all　sure　that　she　was　not　being　retained　in　her

present　position　against　her　will；　and　was　not　a　little　relieved　when　she

sat　up　and　held　out　her　hand　for　the　shawl。



〃I　must　go；〃　she　said。



The　stranger　wrapped　the　shawl　very　carefully　about　her。



〃Keep　it　close　around　your　face；　Lyndall；　it　is　very　damp　outside。　　Shall　I

walk　with　you　to　the　house？〃



〃No。　　Lie　down　and　rest；　I　will　come　and　wake　you　at　three　o'clock。〃



She　lifted　her　face　that　he　might　kiss　it；　and；　when　he　had　kissed　it　once；

she　still　held　it　that　he　might　kiss　it　again。　　Then　he　let　her　out。　　He

had　seated　himself　at　the　fireplace；　when　she　reopened　the　door。



〃Have　you　forgotten　anything？〃



〃No。〃



She　gave　one　long；　lingering　look　at　the　old　room。　　When　she　was　gone；　and

the　door　shut；　the　stranger　filled　his　glass；　and　sat　at　the　table　sipping

it　thoughtfully。



The　night　outside　was　misty　and　damp；　the　faint　moonlight；　trying　to　force

its　way　through　the　thick　air；　made　darkly　visible　the　outlines　of　the

buildings。　　The　stones　and　walls　were　moist；　and　now　and　then　a　drop；

slowly　collecting；　fell　from　the　eaves　to　the　ground。　　Doss；　not　liking　the

change　from　the　cabin's　warmth；　ran　quickly　to　the　kitchen　doorstep；　but

his　mistress　walked　slowly　past　him；　and　took　her　way　up　the　winding

footpath　that　ran　beside　the　stone　wall　of　the　camps。　　When　she　came　to　the

end　of　the　last　camp；　she　threaded　her　way　among　the　stones　and　bushes　till

she　reached　the　German's　grave。　　Why　she　had　come　there　she　hardly　knew；

she　stood　looking　down。　　Suddenly　she　bent　and　put　one　hand　on　the　face　of

a　wet　stone。



〃I　shall　never　come　to　you　again；〃　she　said。



Then　she　knelt　on　the　ground；　and　leaned　her　face　upon　the　stones。



〃Dear　old　man；　good　old　man；　I　am　so　tired！〃　she　said　（for　we　will　come　to

the　dead　to　tell　secrets　we　would　ne